Missing In Action
by LittletonPace
Summary: Sawyer had a wife? Yep! Amelia "Mia" Rowan also crashed on the island. It's a new beginning for her; but the one thing she has tried to hard to remove from her life is the one thing that won't let her go; her estranged husband.
1. In My Place

**Chapter 1: In My Place**

_(Episodes 1x01-1x03)_

Amelia Rowan zipped up her light gray hoodie and made her way to one of the larger fires that had been set up on the beach. Her watch had shattered in the crash the day before so she estimated the time to be around seven or eight o'clock. Eating time. She was surprised everyone was still pretty much normal considered what they'd heard in the jungle the night before; that horrendous whooping clicking noise that sounded like it was crushing through trees. No one seemed to want to talk about what it could be; Amelia was definitely trying to put it out of her mind.

The heavy-set, wiry haired young man, Hurley, was passing out airplane food to the survivors. He caught Amelia on her way to the fire and handed her what looked like a chicken dish.

"Here you go, dude," He said. "It's kinda cold but it's food, right?"

"Thanks." Amelia smiled made her way to the young, blonde pregnant girl and sat beside her on the piece of plane wreckage by the crackling fire.

"Hey, how are you feeling?" Amelia asked as she peeled back the wrapping of her meal.

"Oh, I'm fine." Claire smiled and poked her plastic fork around at her food. "This could be a little more appetizing, though..."

Amelia forked a piece of pale chicken and smelled it. "Yeh, well I guess Oceanic had to cut corners somewhere." Her stomach growled so she hesitantly starting eating.

The pregnant blonde giggled. "I'm Claire." She offered her hand to Amelia.

"Oh, Amelia." She replied. "Mia." She shook her hand. "Good to meet you."

"You, too." Claire grinned and went back to her food. "So us Australians are pretty scarce, huh? Seems like everyone I meet is American."

Mia nodded and swallowed down some chicken; it actually wasn't that bad. "That's what we get for flying back to L.A., I guess."

"So, what was that fight about before?" Claire asked a moment later. "The one you broke up with that Southern guy?"

_That Southern guy_...Mia thought..._that's all he is_. "Oh, just...idiots being idiots." She replied vaguely. Claire seemed to get that Mia didn't want to talk about it; because she didn't ask any more questions.

After Mia left Claire to get some rest, she took a wander through the camp. Two days they'd been shipwrecked; surely someone would have come for them if they were going to. Mia had mainly kept to herself. Other than helping Hurley gather food the day of the crash and her dinner with Claire; she hadn't really talked to any other survivors. From listening; she knew the doctor was Jack, the brunette who was often with him was Kate, the bald guy was Locke, the beauty queen Shannon and her cute brother, Boone, and the Arab guy was Sayid; the one she'd separated from fighting with Sawyer.

As she thought of his name; she caught him in her peripheral. Smoking; again. Didn't seem to matter what she'd say to him; he was never able to give it up. With almost everyone asleep, Mia thought now was as good a time as any to talk to him. Maybe no one would see them. The most they'd said to each other was her yelling at him to back off when he was fighting with Sayid. Sawyer had pretty much made himself known as the resident jackass; so no one was approaching him.

Mia didn't want anyone to know they had history; not if her wish came true and they were rescued tomorrow. She'd rather people didn't think she would associate herself with someone like that. That's why, only in the dead of the night, she dared talk to him.

"Are you trying to be hated everywhere you go?" Mia said, folding her arms and standing a good few feet from him.

"Nice to see you too, sweetheart." Sawyer took a long draw from his cigarette and let out the puff of air slowly through his nostrils.

"Sawyer, it looks like we'll be here awhile," She started.

He narrowed his eyes at her. "Don't think I haven't noticed how you've changed your tune." He said bitterly. "Hanging with the pregnant chick, making some new friends...you got it all figured out, huh?"

"I just don't think it's a good idea to get on everyone's bad side right off the bat." Mia replied matter-of-factly.

"Come on, baby," Sawyer took another drag. "You've known me long enough to know that ain't gonna happen."

Mia scoffed. "Yeah...I have." She unfolded her arms and started to walk away.

"But you married me anyway." Sawyer called after her.

When she turned around; he was smirking. That know-it-all smirk she'd used to think was charming; now it made her feel nauseous.

"Yeah, I did." She spat over her shoulder. "Past tense, Sawyer."

****

xxx

The next day, Mia got herself better acquainted with Claire by helping her gather up paperwork and passports. Really, as nice as Claire was, that was just a ruse. She wanted to find her shoulder bag. It had been in the overhead compartment above her on the plane but she'd woken up in the sand. She'd managed to find her plane seat half buried in the dirt just off the beach but hadn't found the time to go trolling through the fuselage looking for it. Her memory of the crash was foggy. The plane had separated in the air so there was a chance her luggage was floating around in the ocean. But, considering her seat had made it safely to the beach she was hoping her bag had, too. Not only did it have some essential items like clothes, toiletries and her cell phone; it had something priceless. Something that was the reason she'd gotten on the plane in the first place.

After helping Claire for about an hour, Mia offered to go into the fuselage to retrieve more bags. Considering that that part of the plane was basically upside down and there was a handful of dead bodies in there; Claire didn't even pretend not to be thrilled she wasn't going back in.

Inside the fuselage, it was dark and it stank of death and decay. Mia clicked on the flashlight Claire had found in one of the bags and started searching. She breathed through her nose and tried not to look at the contorted bodies littering the aisles and slumped over in seats. Because of the angle, Mia had to climb up by stepping on the arm rests of the chairs. It was like climbing a very wide, very awkward ladder. It was tough to climb and hold the torch so she moved slowly, but the inevitable happened and she slipped. To stop herself falling, Mia dropped the torch and grabbed onto the headrest of the one of chairs. The torch bounced off her shoulder and landed in the window pane, shining its light right into the face of dead man. Mia gasped; she recognized him

Not by name or anything, but he'd been complaining about his headphones not working midflight; he'd been two seats in front of her; Mia had had a window seat, too. Slowly, taking the time to find her footing, Mia climbed into the empty chair beside the dead man and retrieved her torch. She shone the light over the chair and saw the row of missing chairs two seats back. And right above that; jackpot. The overhead compartment was still there; undamaged.

With a jolt of adrenaline, Mia clambered over to the row of chairs just behind the dead man; they creaked a little but seemed pretty solid. She reached up and opened the compartment and almost bounced up and down in happiness; her shoulder bag was there. It was upside down and smushed against the back along with a briefcase, a pillow and a laptop bag; but it was there. Her lucky bag with the torn shoulder strap and coffee stain that gave it a tie dyed effect. She'd had it for years.

A rummaging noise from behind Mia made her gasp and turn the torch around. She was sure she'd heard something or someone. But a quick, slow scan of the fuselage didn't show her anything but more bodies and debris. She was starting to get the creeps so she thought it best to get back out onto the beach. Slinging the bag over her shoulder, Mia also nabbed the briefcase and laptop bag and started to make her way back out of the fuselage. She was climbing down the last couple of steps when she lost her footing and fell heavily to the floor.

"Ow!" She cried as she hit the ground.

"Whoa, careful! You alright?"

Mia looked up to see the doctor, Jack, reaching down to help her up. "Yeh, I'm fine." And she was; it was just a heavy fall but she'd landed on her feet.

"What were you doing in there?" He asked, nodding his head into the fuselage.

"Oh, looking for my bag." She proudly patted her shoulder bag. "Found it." She felt a familiar lump in the front pocket and almost gasped. "Oh, my God, my wallet's still in here." She pulled out the leather wallet and opened it up; half expecting all her identification to be missing or something.

Jack smiled. "Lucky you."

She could tell he was eying her driver's license; as if subtlety trying to prove if she was who she was. Poor guy; he was suspicious of everyone. "Are you heading in there?" She jabbed her thumb to the fuselage.

"Yeh, the guy with shrapnel in his leg needs medication." Jack rubbed the back off his head. "Thought I might see what some people have on them."

"Claire, the pregnant girl, and I are searching bags." Mia said. "We've found some pills. Just anti-depressants and Advil so far but you're welcome to it." She smiled.

"Thanks." Jack smiled and started to head into the plane wreck.

"Oh, take this." She handed him the torch. "You'll need it." She smiled at the handsome doctor one more time and then lugged the bags towards Claire. She handed her new friend the laptop bag and flopped to the sand next to her.

"Find anything good?" Claire asked.

"My bag." She held up her lucky pack. "With all my identification still in it."

"Score." Claire winked.

Mia opened her bag and unzipped the main section where she expected to see what she was looking for. It wasn't there. She knew she'd left the large yellow envelope on top of her clothes; it had been there when they'd taken off. She'd made herself double check. Now it was gone. "Dammit." She muttered under her breath as she yanked out most of her clothes; knowing it wouldn't be in there.

"Everything ok?" Claire inquired.

"Yeh, yeh," Mia stuffed her clothes back in her bag and sat it beside her. "Fine." She gave Claire as genuine a smile as she could muster. "Everything's fine."

Mia forced herself to work with Claire for the rest of the day and just put the yellow envelope out of her mind. She spotted Jack leaving the fuselage about twenty minutes later and grabbed the medicines she'd discovered to give to him.

"Oh, thanks." He said when she handed them to him.

"Did you find anything useful?" She cast her eyes over the still smoking fuselage.

"Not sure yet." Jack gave her a shaky smile. "We'll see. Hopefully Sawyer didn't steal anything."

"Sawyer?" Mia repeated.

"Yeh, that Southern guy. He was in there, too." Jack shook his head in disbelief. "Looting from the dead, can you believe that?" He smiled his thanks at her again and headed off back up the beach.

"Yeah, I can." She muttered under her breath.

By nightfall, it was hard to ignore the sounds of wailing agony coming from the makeshift tent Mia discovered Jack was keeping the man with the shrapnel. He was getting worse; and everyone on the beach knew it. Mia suddenly remembered she'd found some painkillers that afternoon while searching bags with Claire. She grabbed them from beside her lucky pack and went to find him.

Mia spotted Jack talking with Hurley about a hundred feet from the shrapnel guy's tent. She couldn't hear what they were saying, but something Hurley said made Jack's face contort in fear. He turned and started running towards the tent, from which Kate was exiting.

"Kate?!" Jack called.

Confused, Mia started to walk up behind him but jumped a mile when a loud gunshot fired through the silent night air. Startled, Mia dropped the handful of meds and covered her mouth as Sawyer came walking out of the tent with a gun dangling from his hand.

Jack stormed up to Sawyer with murder in his eyes. "What did you do?!"

"What you couldn't!" Sawyer said back. "Look, I get where you're coming from being a doctor and all, but he wanted it. Hell, he asked me. So, I don't like it any more than you do, but something had to be done."

A horribly, guttural groan of pain alerted both Jack and Sawyer that the shrapnel guy wasn't through yet. Jack sped into the tent with Sawyer right after him. Mia, still stunned, took off after Kate.

"Kate!" Mia jogged in front of her and blocked her path. "What the hell happened in there?" She could see tears in the woman's eyes. "Where'd the gun come from?"

"He's a Marshall. He was after me." Kate whispered. "He arrested me and was taking me back to LA in handcuffs."

"What did you do?"

"Nothing. It doesn't matter..." She gulped. "He was dying." She wiped her eyes and pushed past Mia.

Mia was rooted to the spot, trying to process all of this information. Kate was a fugitive and had convinced Sawyer to kill someone. What the hell was this island doing to everybody?

Sawyer suddenly exited the tent looking extremely troubled. He whipped his cigarettes and lighter out of his pocket and tried to light one, but the lighter wouldn't ignite. Frustration overcame him and he tossed the cigarette away cursing under his breath. "Dammit!"

"It's a bad habit anyway." Mia said as she came up to him. "But look on the bright side. In a few days you'll be out of them and you'll have to quit." She folded her arms across her chest.

"There something you want?" He didn't turn around to face her; he just spat his response over his shoulder.

"Where is it?"

"Where's what?"

"Don't play dumb with me. I know you went looting through the fuselage and I know you have it." She could feel her heart racing in anger. "I found my bag, zipped up but the envelope's missing. You're no fool; you _wanted _me to know it was gone."

This time; he did turn to her. Whatever troubled look he'd had before was replaced by smug antagonism. "Not gonna do you any good now is it?" He drawled.

Mia could practically feel her blood boiling. "You _promised _me-"

"When we got to L.A." He cut in. "_That _was the deal. Look around, M, we're not in L.A. We're not in Australia." He let out his dry, Southern laugh. "Hell, we don't know where we are.

"You promised me." She growled through gritted teeth.

He squared his jaw and started towards her, staring her down. He stopped just by her shoulder and hissed - "Deal with it" - into her ear before storming off down the beach.

Mia was frozen in her anger. Of course, he hadn't planned the crash, but he was even using this disaster to play her. It didn't matter where they were; he would never change. Mia suddenly became aware of the silence in the air and then saw Jack looking forlorn as he exited the tent. He saw Mia and they shared a look; a look that told her the Marshall was definitely dead now. Then he left; walking off into the darkness alone.

Turning back to the camp, Mia noticed a handful of people moving around, most likely having been woken up by the gunshot, but Sawyer had already disappeared. Not sure where to go or what to do, Mia sat herself right there on the sand and rested her head against her knees. She listened to the sound of the waves; the peacefulness of them perturbed her. The ocean was so calm; yet on the island they were losing control. Sawyer had a gun, Kate was a criminal, people were dying, food was running out, water was drying up and rescue was nowhere to be seen. If this wasn't Hell; the Devil had a lot to live up to.

---


	2. Priceless

**Chapter 2: Priceless**

_(1x04-1x05)_

The morning after the Marshall's death was a lot like the morning after they first heard those weird noises in the jungle in that no one seemed to want to talk about it. Mia and Claire went back to sorting paperwork; Mia hoping that maybe she'd find the yellow envelope and Sawyer was just messing with her. Heck; it wouldn't be the first time. And if nothing else; she was at least working on her tan.

Sifting through another stack of what appeared to be pages from some sort of business file; Mia sighed quite audibly and reached for a damp briefcase of yellow folders. She sorted through them one by one but didn't find her envelope.

"Looking for something?" Claire asked her.

"Hm?" Mia looked up at her.

"You mumble when you read." Claire explained. "And you've sorted through like double what I have..."

"Yeah, just something I lost." Mia smiled; trying to play off that it was no big deal. "Must have fallen out of my bag." She grabbed for another stack of papers on top of which was a white envelope with _Sayid_ written on it. "Hey," She handed the envelope to Claire. "That guy's name is Sayid, right?" She nodded her head at the Arab man sitting a few feet from them who was fiddling with something electronic.

Claire got Sayid's attention and gave him his envelope; he was very grateful to get it back and abandoned his electronic project. Mia couldn't help but feel a little jealous; she'd feel the same way if she found her envelope.

"Hey," Sawyer's drawl filtered into Mia's ears and caught her a little off guard.

"What?" Mia snapped; unable to hide her annoyance.

"I, uh, found these..." He was holding a stack of wallets and passports. "I found 'em when I was, ah..."

"Ransacking dead bodies?"

"Just take 'em." Sawyer pushed the items into her hands and walked away.

Claire noticed the icy interchange, it was hard not to. "So...you two are friends, huh?" She smiled but Mia didn't look impressed. "I saw you two on the plane. You looked about as happy as you did then."

Mia had blacked out at some point during the crash, but she did remember pieces of boarding Flight 815. She'd actually knocked into the man sitting in front of Claire on her way to her seat. She remembered being annoyed that Oceanic seated she and Sawyer together and hoping that once they got in the air she could change seats. "I was doing him a favour by flying with him." She eventually admitted to Claire.

"He couldn't go on his own?" Claire raised her eyebrows.

"Something like that." Mia smiled; hoping she wouldn't inquire any further. Thankfully, she didn't.

It wasn't that Mia didn't trust Claire; she was the closest thing to a friend Mia had on this island; but surely that trust and burgeoning friendship between them would be severed if Claire found out that Mia had actually married Sawyer. Someone like her shouldn't have fallen in love with someone like him. The fact that she hadn't seen him in almost two years before the crash was proof that they weren't right for each other.

Claire, genius that she was, came up with the idea to hold a memorial for the people in the fuselage. Jack was planning on setting it on fire that night to stop disease from spreading. And to hopefully signal any sort of rescue plane or vessel passing by. Boone and the Englishman, Charlie, were helping her out so Mia went in search of Kate who she found cleaning her shirt in the ocean further up the beach.

"Hey." Mia called as she approached her.

"Oh, hey," Kate emerged from the water and started wringing her shirt dry.

"Oh," Mia's eyes fell on a scratch across Kate's cheek. "What happened?" She knew Kate, Locke and a guy named Michael had gone tromping off into the jungle earlier that day; but she didn't know why. She had just seen them filing into the dense overgrowth.

"Just a scratch, no big deal. Jack gave me the all clear." She smiled.

Mia couldn't help but notice Kate looked a hell of a lot more at ease than she had the night before. "You look better." She said sitting herself on the sand.

"Yeah..." Kate sat down beside her and they both looked out into the ocean. "Can I tell you something?"

"Okay..." Mia said carefully.

Kate drew in a deep breath. "Out in the jungle. That thing...whatever it was that made that weird noise? It...sort of attacked Locke."

"Thing?" Mia repeated. "What do you mean, an animal or something?"

"I dunno." Kate shook her head. "I didn't see it exactly, but it was crushing through the trees." She looked back over her shoulder into the jungle. "There's something out there."

"So...why are you telling me?" Mia asked. "I mean, shouldn't everyone know-"

"No!" Kate said quickly. "No, it would just freak them out even more. I don't think people can handle anymore weirdness."

"So you want me to keep it a secret."

"If you wouldn't mind." Kate gave her a wobbly smile. "And, ah, what I told you last night?"

"About being in cuffs?"

"Yeah."

"Don't worry." Mia smiled. "I won't tell anyone." She wanted to ask Kate what she had done that had put her in those cuffs, but she sensed it wasn't anything good. Mia considered herself a good judge of character; and Kate, though coy, seemed genuine. And she was trusting Mia with some secrets... "I'm married to Sawyer." She found herself admitting.

Kate's head snapped to the side. "What?" She almost laughed.

Mia did laugh. "Yeah."

"Wow..." Kate chuckled. "I'd never have guessed."

"Please don't tell anybody." Mia pleaded. "It's not the kind of thing I want broadcast to everybody. I mean, would you want to own up to marrying someone like that?"

Kate chewed her bottom lip and nodded. "I guess I see your point."

"Hopefully we'll get rescued soon and I won't have to deal with it." Mia said a little too exuberantly.

"Yeah..." Kate cast her eyes out to sea. "Rescued."

And that was that. The pair of them sat there until the sunset and made their way to the memorial. Claire took charge reading off names while Boone and Hurley stood beside her with torches. Mia stood nearby the Korean couple who didn't seem to be able to speak English and scanned the survivors, noting that Jack wasn't there. After the memorial, Mia met up with Claire again and the two headed back to the little makeshift shelter they'd built themselves. Basically it was just a chunk of plane with a tarp pulled over it; but it kept them dry and that was the main thing. As Mia drifted off to sleep; she tried to slow her brain down. It kept ticking over with everything that had happened today. Not only had she broken the first promise she'd made to herself since they crashed and admitted to Kate that she was Sawyer's wife, there was some sort of 'thing' in the jungle and, if this burning fuselage didn't work, there was still no chance of rescue. _Well, dammit_, Mia thought as she felt sleep finally creep up on her. _And I thought this would be just like Gilligan's Island..._

**xxx**

By lunchtime the next day, it seemed things were going from bad to worse. For starters; someone else had died. Joanna. Mia didn't remember her at all; but she had drowned out in the ocean whilst going for a swim. Boone had almost drowned himself when he took off to save her. Though, unlike the previous shocking events of the past few days, this one seemed to have more of an effect. Maybe because this was the first person to die _because _of being on the island. She didn't have any injuries from the crash; she'd just been swimming. Jack in particular was taking it very hard; he'd heard her screams and went to save her but came across Boone instead. He hadn't been able to get back out to Joanna in time.

Mia was sitting with Claire slowly getting her new friend to drink some water. The heat combined with Claire's pregnancy and their dire situation had caused the young woman to collapse earlier that day. Kate and Mia had been able to rouse her; but she was dehydrated and they were running low on water. Mia was sharing the last of what she had with Claire. They'd rounded up the last of the water bottles from the plane, but some genius had stolen them. And Mia had an idea of who it was.

Sayid agreed with her when he saw the Korean couple drinking from two full bottles of water. The husband pointed out Sawyer when Sayid had asked for that third time where he'd gotten it from. When Mia had moved towards her husband, Sayid had pulled her pack stating that he couldn't see the water and 'a rat will always lead you to its hole'.

Watching Sawyer without him noticing had always been difficult; but Mia managed to sneak peeks at him as she tended to Claire. He hung around the beach mostly just smoking his cigarettes and pilfering whatever he could find that might be worth something. But then, when no one was watching, he slipped into the jungle just off the shoreline. If Mia hadn't have been paying attention she would have missed him. Leaving Claire in Charlie's capable hands, Mia followed him.

She spotted her estranged husband squatting over a partially covered hole in the ground. In that moment she was so angry at him; she just bolted towards him and tackled him to the ground.

"Finally." He smirked as he gripped her wrists. "Been waitin' for you to jump me ever since we crashed on this rock."

"Where's the water?" Mia pressed herself heavily on him; but he seemed to like that. Sawyer crooked his leg around her ankle so her grip faltered and he managed to roll over on top of her.

"That's better." He purred quietly.

"Get off me, you son of a bitch." Mia snarled through gritted teeth as she struggled underneath him.

Then, all of a sudden, he was being ripped off her body by a blur of Sayid. Mia scrambled to her knees and went straight for Sawyer's stash. She found toiletries, magazines (including porn) and various cell phones. But no water bottles. No yellow envelope, either.

"You really think I stole your damn water?" Sawyer shoved Sayid.

"We know you gave two bottles to the Koreans." Sayid replied.

"I don't give nothin' to nobody." Sawyer snapped.

"It's not here." Mia said dejectedly to Sayid as she rose to her feet.

"I traded Mr. Myagi the last of my water for a fish he caught." Sawyer explained with a smirk at Mia. "We worked it out caveman style."

Mia sighed deeply. "You gave him the last of what you had?"

"Water has no value, M." Sawyer said. "It's gonna rain sooner or later and, Hell, I'm an optimist."

Mia was in no mood to argue with him again. She was tired of that; tired of his whole persona. So she just gave him a disgusted look and followed Sayid back to the beach.

"Don't let him get to you." Sayid commented when they were out of Sawyer's earshot. "The man is a parasite."

"Thanks for the advice," Mia replied. "But I can take care of myself."

"I'm sure you can." Sayid said. "I saw your tattoo."

Mia gulped. She'd been trying to hide it; but it was on her lower back just above her butt. It didn't matter how far she pulled down her singlet; the scripting was still visible.

"_Nemo me impune lacessit_." Sayid recited with a smile. "Latin for 'no one can harm me unpunished'."

"Yeah." Mia forced a smile and pulled her singlet down again.

"It's a strong motto." Sayid continued. "If you don't mind me asking; why did you choose it?"

Mia laughed. "Teenage rebellion." She answered with a wry grin. "We'd just read about the Scottish Regiments in the British Army at school. This motto stuck out to me."

"Funny how a decision made when you were a child is still so fitting now." Sayid smiled.

He was sweet, Mia decided. Very kind and very sure of himself. Perhaps she had a new ally in Sayid. Along with Claire and Kate, she was actually making sort of friends on the island. She wondered how many she would have to have to make up for the mistake of marrying Sawyer.

As she and Sayid parted ways; a thought struck Mia. Sawyer had kept their marriage a secret...why? He was definitely not trying to befriend her in anyway. If anything; he was making her suffer just as much as everyone else; so why not use the one thing that would tarnish her image to everyone? Was he just waiting until she was liked by more survivors until he spilled the beans? The thought of it made Mia so anxious her heart began to race. She'd have to beat him to the punch; tell her new friends about them before he got the chance to. She shuddered to think what the fallout would be if she waited for Sawyer to divulge her great mistake.

**xxx**


	3. Divided

**Chapter 3: Divided**  
_  
(1x05-1x06)_

The water situation didn't get better and by nightfall, people were frantic. Mia only had one bottle of water left and a can of diet soda. She shared her drinks with Claire but there were already survivors who were out of water and getting worried. When Mia had fed Claire the last of her water; she went to Kate hoping that someone else might have something to nourish the ailing pregnant girl.

"She needs to be hydrated." Mia said to Kate.

"Are you a doctor or something?" Charlie asked as he joined their trio.

"It's common sense." Mia snapped. "Pregnant women need water. Hell; _people _need water."

"I'm all out." Kate shrugged uselessly. "I don't know where the stash is or how we can find it." She looked as worried as Mia felt.

"Where's Jack?" Mia asked, her eyes scanning the beach as she realized she hadn't seen him since before sunset.

"He went off into the jungle after something." Kate mumbled as she concerned brown eyes flickered across the tree line.

"Locke said he'd find Claire water," Charlie spoke up. "And he's not back yet, either." He glanced furtively at Claire sleeping at her shelter. "I'll go check on her."

Mia watched Charlie depart and shared an anxious look with Kate. They both knew the consequences if Claire didn't get water. Well, all of them needed it, but Claire would be the first casualty, something in Mia's heart told her that for sure.

"Maybe we can ask everyone again." Kate offered. "Maybe someone's storing some water or something; if we tell them Claire's in bad shape they might help."

Mia nodded in agreement. "We shouldn't have to lie to people to get them to help a sick girl." She grumbled.

Kate was about to say something when they were both alerted to some male scuffling coming from inside Claire's tent. Mia took off towards it and almost collided with Charlie as he came bursting out of the shelter pushing Boone to the ground.

"Here's your thief!" Charlie hollered as he crushed Boone's face into the sand.

"What? Where'd he hide the water?" Mia asked as she stared down at Boone.

"I don't know. This wanker had three bottles of it." He looked ready to murder Boone. "Why'd you do it pretty boy, eh?" He snarled into his face.

"It was just sitting in the tent," Boone got shakily to his feet. "And Jack just took off."

"Claire could've died!" Charlie growled.

"I tried to give her some soda, but it just got out of hand." Boone looked nervously at everyone's judgemental eyes. "No one would have understood."

"What is going on?" Kate arrived at Mia's side.

"He took the water." Mia said out of the corner of her mouth.

"Someone had to take responsibility for it." Boone told the gathering crowd defensively. "It would have never lasted."

"So you're solution was hiding it from _all _of us while Claire dehydrates?"

"It wasn't like that!" Boone yelled in exasperation.

"Leave him alone!"

Jack came ambling into the centre of the crowd looking like death. He was panting as though he'd run a marathon and his kind eyes were bloodshot and piercing. "It's been 6 days and we're all still waiting. Waiting for someone to come. But what if they don't? We have to stop waiting. We need to start figuring things out. A woman died this morning just going for a swim and he tried to save her," He pointed at Boone. "And now you're about to crucify him? We can't do this. Every man for himself is not going to work."

Mia glanced at Sawyer; he wouldn't like to hear that. Every man for himself was how he lived.

"It's time to start organizing. We need to figure out how we're going to survive here. Now, I found water. Fresh water, up in the valley." The crowd seemed to twitter in excitement, or maybe it was relief. "I'll take a group in at first light. If you don't want to go come then find another way to contribute." Jack took a long look around all the survivors. "Last week most of us were strangers, but we're all here now. And god knows how long we're going to be here. But if we can't live together, we're going to die alone."

Jack's speech affected all of them. Mia offered to go with Jack and Kate the next morning to haul water back, Charlie and Boone offered to start building shelters with some of the other willing survivors. A group of people Mia didn't know set themselves the task of getting all the suitcases and bags off the beach in case the tide came in, and Sayid openly asked for anything electrical to be brought to him; he was hoping to get a signal on the satellite phone Jack and Kate had brought back from the cockpit the first day of the crash. Everyone seemed to find themselves a job; everyone but Sawyer. He just retreated to the beach nearby his stash and smoked. _Every man for himself, all right._

****

xxx

Mia had always considered herself a fit person. She wasn't a gym junkie anymore, but she had been an avid volleyball player throughout high school and then into university. And with her former career, she had to be in top shape. She had what people would call a sportspersons body; a body that was tested on the slog through the jungle to get to the fresh water. Charlie and Locke came along with Jack, Kate and Mia as they went into the forest. Mia felt like she'd been walking for hours, but by Kate's watch it was barely an hour.

They walked in a scattered line. Jack in the lead since he'd found this water, then Mia and Kate with Charlie and Locke bringing up the rear.

"Can I ask you something?" Kate asked quietly, double checking the guys were far enough away that they couldn't hear.

"Sure." Mia agreed breathlessly as she caught herself before tripping on a hidden tree root.

"Why are you still married to Sawyer?"

"What?"

"I've barely seen you say two words to each other since we crashed," She paused while she climbed up a slight incline and then helped Mia follow. "So, why stay married?"

"Well..." Mia began as she made sure Jack was still in sight. "Call it a geographical mishap. I was in Australia; he was in America."

"But he came back to Australia," Kate pointed out.

"Yeah," Mia fell into step beside Kate as she noticed Jack had stopped and was waiting for them up ahead. "But he didn't come back for me." She gave her a meaningful smile and walked on.

They waited for Charlie and Locke to catch up and then Jack lead them into a damp expanse of caves. It was cool and shaded with no sand in sight. In one corner there was a well with fresh water flowing freely into it from above. It sounded as beautiful as it looked.

"Nice find, Jack." Mia praised him as she slung the backpack of empty water bottles off her shoulder and knelt before the well.

"How'd you find it?" Kate asked, mirroring Mia's awe as she, too, crouched before the water.

"Luck." Jack smiled coyly.

"It's amazing." Locke commented. He was definitely more in awe of the caves than anyone else.

"Yeh," Charlie agreed. "It's totally you." He quipped at Locke as he inspected what appeared to be even more plane wreckage.

Mia pulled the lids off two bottles and lowered them into the well to fill up. While they did, she scanned the caves and noticed a handful of suitcases and baggage. It didn't surprise her. The plane had split in two in the air and they had no idea where the other half had landed. There was probably luggage scattered all over the island.

"Hey guys," Charlie spoke up. "Don't you think someone should check through this stuff?" He lifted up a tan suitcase. "Could be something useful in here."

"He's got a point." Locke agreed.

"Yeh," Jack nodded. "Give us your bottles, and keep an eye out for medical supplies. Drugs especially."

"Drugs..." Charlie repeated. "Right..."

Mia assumed her backpack would be weighed down when it had full water bottles in it; she just didn't realize how much. It felt like she was carrying bricks when she slung the pack onto her shoulders. "Man..." She groaned and let the bag fall to her feet. "This is gonna be a bitch to carry back."

Jack added another bottle to his pack. "You're right." He agreed; his brow creasing in thought.

"Hey," Kate spoke up. "Where are Locke and Charlie?"

The trio had been so busy filling water bottles they hadn't realized that two of their group had taken off. "Locke?" Jack called out as he got to his feet. "Charlie?!"

Kate and Mia followed Jack as they headed out of the caves where they found Locke; quite animatedly waving at them to stop moving. Mia was about to ask what the hell was going on when she saw Charlie standing on what appeared to be a beehive with the insects slowly fluttering around him. "Oh, no..."

"If he moves, he'll split the hive." Locke explained as Jack and Kate carefully circled Charlie so as not to startle the bees.

"I don't like bees, ok?" Charlie said frantically. "I have an irrational fear of bees; I think I'm allergic to them..."

"Please be quiet." Locke warned Charlie as he squatted down beside the hive. "We need something to cover it." He told Jack. "One of the suitcases from the cave."

"Ok..." Jack slowly retreated back down the path into the caves.

"Seriously, guys, what if one of these things stings me and I die?" Charlie worried.

"Charlie; shut up!" Kate yelped.

"Here." Jack came back into view with the tan suitcase and carefully approached Charlie. "Ok, man, I'm gonna try and cover it, ok?"

"This is the most crap idea ever." Charlie's voice wavered. "It's never going to work."

"Pull yourself together." Mia assured him. "It'll be fine."

"It wouldn't be an irrational fear of bees if I could just pull myself together, would it?" Charlie's eyes darted feverishly around the growing number of bees buzzing around his head. One of them took a dive and jabbed him right in the neck just as Jack was ready to cover the hive. The shifting of his weight caused his foot to split the beehive directly in two. A swarm of bees came flowing from the hive.

"Run!" Locke cried as the swarm turned on them.

The whole group bolted. It must have looked quite comical to anyone watching from a distance; five people running for their lives into the caves and waving their arms around their heads.

"Dammit!" Mia cried as she felt at least five different stings on her back. She arched her spine and squirmed as more stings burned up her arms. Cursing herself for wearing just a black singlet; Mia ripped off her shirt and started smacking her skin to get rid of the insects. She accidentally squished one of the bees and wound up with another sting on her palm. "Grr..." Her skin burned as though she'd been splashed with acid. "AH!" She grabbed one of the recently filled water bottles and poured it all over her back.

Making sure none of the bees had found their way into her bra; Mia took another bottle and poured it over her arms. It was soothing; even if just for a minute. She picked the dead bodies of a handful of bees from the inside of her shirt and slipped it back on over her head before she went to find the others. She came across Kate and Jack first; both with their shirts off and inspecting something in what looked like another well; only minus the water.

"You guys ok?" Mia asked. "What's going on?"

"Skeletons." Kate said blatantly as she rubbed at some stings on her shoulder.

"What?" Curious, Mia made her way over there and took a look at the decayed skeleton shrouded in remnants of clothing and overgrown vines.

Jack stepped back from the grave/well with a pouch in his hands. He poured the contents into his palm; one white stone and one black stone. He gave Mia and Kate the same puzzled expression

"Hello? Anybody there?" Locke called as he and Charlie joined them in the caves. "Everyone all right?"

Jack nodded. "A few stings aside."

"You three run away fantastically." Charlie said as he picked a bee off of his shirt. "Glad my diversion spared you. I was only stung _several hundred_ times."

"Join the club." Mia held out her arms; they were a horrid, blotchy shade of red.

Charlie blanched when he caught sight of the skeletons. "Wow...are these the people who were here before us?"

"What are you talking about?" Locke asked him; sounded very interested.

Charlie looked very put off by Locke's reaction. "Uh, just, you know, the...there could have been people here before us, right?"

Locke looked over at Jack, who averted his eyes, and then back to Charlie. "Clearly. But who are these men?"

"Actually, one of them is female." Jack corrected him.

Locke managed a small smile. "Our very own Adam and Eve..." He muttered.

After they'd all recovered from the bee invasion, Mia, Kate and Jack went back to filling water bottles while Charlie and Locke went to salvage the wreckage nearby.

"We should move out." Kate said as she zipped up her overflowing backpack. "People are probably getting thirsty..." She saw Jack's attention was diverted; he was staring at the spring. "What?"

"46 people need to drink a half gallon a day each." Jack told them. "Carrying all this water back and forth is going to be real pain in the ass."

"You're making me regret volunteering." Mia deadpanned as she took a drink from one of the bottles. The water was so lovely and fresh; pure. It felt like it quenched her thirst immediately.

"These caves make too good a shelter just to be used for burial. Adam and Eve, they must have lived here." Jack gestured to the caves. "Their plane crashed, or maybe they were ship-wrecked. They probably found this place and knew they could survive here. Unlimited supply of fresh water, tree canopy keeps the temperature down, shields out the sun, the openings are narrow, easier for protection against predators." He stood and slung his rucksack onto his shoulders. "We don't need to bring the water to the people. We need to bring the people to the water." He smiled. "I think we could live here."

If Mia thought the trek to the caves was bad, the walk back was even worse. She felt like she was carrying a tonne on her back. Charlie and Locke stayed behind to keep looking through the wreckage so Jack, Kate and Mia headed back to the beach with the water. Along the way, Jack informed Kate and Mia of how good it would be for everyone if they moved. Mia was unconvinced. She would rather trek to the caves every day then not be at the beach when a plane flew overhead or a boat floated past. Jack maintained people were just clinging to hope now instead of thinking of their own safety, but Mia wasn't so sure. She didn't say much on the way back to the beach, but thankfully the decision of whether or not they should 'dig in' and stay put weighed so heavily on Mia's mind, and of course her numerous bee stings, she wasn't as bothered by the hefty load on her back. She didn't even realize how close they were to the beach until they came across Sayid chopping wood.

"It's about time," He said with relief as Jack tossed him a full water bottle. "I'm dying of thirst."

Jack took the opportunity to inform Sayid if his 'digging in' idea, and Sayid informed the three of them about the action on the beach that they had missed.

"He just attacked Michael, for no reason?" Mia asked when Sayid had told them what happened.

"None at all. Granted; he can't speak English," Sayid took another drink. "I think I'll let him sit in the sun a while longer. Then I'll take his wife aside, find some way to communicate. I think she knows why he attacked Michael."

"If you've got that under control I'm going to start talking to people about the caves." Jack got to his feet and prepared to get moving. "Might be able to get a few to go with me before nightfall, start setting up camp."

Sayid looked surprised. "You're serious?" His look of surprise changed to one of irritation. "Is there a reason you didn't consult us when you decided to form your own civilization?"

"I'm only talking about moving into the valley." Jack replied defensively.

"Well, what happened to live together, die alone?" Sayid pointed out.

"Digging in together is the only way we're going to survive." Jack countered.

Sayid looked really annoyed. "Our best hope of survival is in being spotted by a plane or a ship, and for that we need to organize everyone to keep that signal fire burning while others scout the island for supplies. Digging in anywhere else is suicide."

"It is the only source of fresh water we've found, Sayid." Kate reminded him.

"And staying on the beach, in the sun without water? That's not suicide?" Jack asked.

Sayid stood, picked up the axe and the firewood. "I'm not going to admit defeat." With that, he headed back to the beach.

Mia watched him leave and could see the beautiful waves crashing against the shore. As she shouldered her load of water bottles again, she couldn't help but agree with Sayid. There was something about moving to the caves that felt like she was giving up. It had only been a week. That wasn't really that long. And now they had a source of water.

"I'm staying." Mia suddenly said, stopping Jack in his tracks.

"What?" He repeated with his eyebrows raised; apparently he had assumed she would be along for the move to the caves.

"Look, I get what you're doing Jack, I do." Mia assured him. "And it's smart. You're preparing. But...I can't do that. I can't accept that we're stuck here. If a plane or a ship comes by, I wanna be at the beach jumping up and down like an idiot with everyone else to get its attention."

Jack sighed, searching for a way to change her mind, but her expression was steely. She was staying; that was that. "If you're sure..." He shrugged.

Mia smiled. "I am."

****

xxx


	4. Mayday

**Chapter 4: Mayday**

_(1x07-1x08)_

"A French woman?" Mia repeated. "There's a French woman somewhere on the island?"

"It would appear so," Sayid confirmed. "Otherwise I would think the distress call would have stopped playing."

Another day, another dose of weirdness. Jack's plan did in fact divide the survivors. Almost a third went to the caves with him; trusting him with their safety. Among them were Charlie, Hurley and the Korean couple who Mia now knew as Jin and Sun Kwon. As Mia predicted, Kate stayed behind at the beach, but that didn't stop Jack trying to convince her to go back to the caves with him every time he came back to deliver water. It had been during one of these treks back and Kate had left mid-conversation with Mia to go and talk to him, so she went off to find something else to do with her time and that's when she had found Sayid constructing some sort of antenna.

Sayid let her in on something he, Kate, Sawyer, Charlie, Shannon and Boone had discovered the second day on the island. They had discovered a distress call in French that had been running for over sixteen years. It was a woman asking for help, saying 'it killed them, it killed them all'. Sayid didn't give Mia long to bask in the weirdness of that little fact before he told her that he had a plan to find out the source of the signal. It was still running; which meant there had to be a power source on the island. If they could find it; they could send out their own distress call.

"There's a problem," Sayid held out the transceiver to her. "The battery is dead. Without the transceiver all of this is for nothing. Something from a laptop computer would probably work, but I've not been able to find anything." He raised his eyebrows at her. "I thought you might know where to look."

Mia sighed. "Yeah...Sawyer has them." She remembered seeing at least one laptop when she'd searched Sawyer's stash for the water when Claire was ill. "But I'm not asking him for any favours."

Sayid cocked his head to the side. "Why?"

"Because with Sawyer there are consequences."Mia replied without thinking. Immediately she'd wished she'd shut her blabbering mouth. She hoped Sayid would just leave the comment there; but he didn't. His eyes rounded in curiosity as he stopped what he was doing and gave her his full attention.

"It sounds like you know him better than the rest of us..."

Mia didn't like the way he was looking at her; it made her skin crawl. Like he knew she was hiding something, but she wasn't going to fold that easily. She squared her stance and folded her arms tightly across her chest. "What are you asking me, Sayid?" She asked pointedly.

"I was a soldier in the Republican Guard." He told her. "Usually it's quite easy for me to tell when people aren't being truthful. They avert my eyes, ramble as they speak, grow nervous...but you..." He shook his head from side to side. "You're lying right to my face."

_A friggin' solider...figures_, Mia thought. And as a member of the Republican Guard, the elite of Iraqi soldiers, Mia knew better than to get on the wrong side of him. However, she wasn't comfortable letting Sayid in on her life. "What'll it take for you to drop this?"

He gave her a strange look; she could practically see his brain calculating the pros and cons of trusting her and not pressing the issue. "The laptop." He said a moment later.

Mia sighed, thankful that Sayid's desire to get off this island by way of sending out the signal would keep him off her case. At least for awhile. "Give me an hour."

**xxx**

"So you rag on me for trading, and now you want something?"

Sawyer was reading a book in his new "digs", formerly Jack's shelter, when Mia had found him and asked him flat-out if he had a laptop. The smarmy grin that formed on his face made her roll her eyes.

She tossed three full bottles of water at his feet. "I know you have at least one laptop in your stash; I want it."

Sawyer ignored the bottles and went back to his book. "Baby, I've been to the caves. I can get my own water."

"Just give it to me."

He chuckled. "Haven't heard you say that in awhile."

She snatched the book out of his hands so fast she wasn't even sure she'd done it; but it had the desired effect. He glared up at her. "Give me the laptop, Sawyer."

"Tell me something, M," He mused in an all too know-it-all voice as he reached into a knapsack at his feet. "Of all the things you could ask me for; food, shampoo...your precious yellow envelope...why did you ask for a laptop?"

Mia folded her arms and took a deep breath that she hoped it would calm her down; but it didn't. "Sayid needs it to get the transceiver working...if we find the source of the signal we can send out our own distress call."

"Right...Sayid..." Sawyer kept grinning as he removed a laptop from his bag and detached the battery. "I see right through you, my dear. You want everyone to see you as this sweet, friendly thang who's just itchin' to help out. They don't know who you really are."

"You're not going to say anything to anyone."

"And how do you know that?"

"You would have done it already. Or, you're saving it until you can _really_ cause me some damage."

"Wouldn't be doin' anymore than what you did to me, Amelia." Though he smiled; there was no happiness or charm in his eyes. There was pain. A pain that was mirrored in Mia's eyes. He held out the laptop battery but didn't let go when she gripped her fingers around it. "This don't mean a thing, M." He assured her.

"Glad to hear it." She tugged the battery out of his hands and walked away. "Enjoy your book." She spat over her shoulder as she left him to his own misery.

He was so good at that, making her feel guilty. Maybe she did deserve it. A marriage based on a mountain of lies was destined to fail. She'd made mistakes; so had he. The breakup of their relationship was a real team effort; it took both of them screwing up together to ruin it. And they had done a _really_ good job of doing that.

**xxx**

Mia had been washing one of her two pairs of jeans when Sawyer had trudged his way back to the beach looking thoroughly pissed off. He'd been gone for awhile, not that she had noticed, but she wasn't sure where he'd wandered off to.

Sayid's bottle rocket plan had gone off seemingly without a hitch. He had asked Mia for her help; but she'd declined. Her original assessment of Sayid was that he was a nice guy; but since their tense conversation where she'd bartered the laptop battery to he wouldn't pester her, he made her uncomfortable. The way he looked at her; it's like her knew all about her life even though she hadn't told him a thing. Maybe he'd someone found out that Sawyer was her husband...but she trusted Kate enough not to blab. Still...she'd only known her a few days.

Cursing herself for succumbing to a case of 'island paranoia', she'd taken to washing her clothes which was when she saw Sawyer return all disgruntled. It was about twenty minutes after the rockets had gone off and he walked—or stormed-- straight passed her; so she engaged him. "Where were you?"

Pausing, he turned to her and smirked. "Took myself a little stroll with Kate," His eyes were shadowed with something troubling. "Was helping her set off her bottle rocket...nice and cosy."

"You actually helped Sayid?" Mia ignored his feeble attempt to make her jealous. "You're growing up. You'll be helping Jack next."

"I don't think anyone'll be helping Jack." He muttered as he continued to walk past her.

Something about his tone caught her off guard; gave her that weird tingling feeling she used to get a work when something wasn't right. She grabbed him by his upper arm and pulled him back. "What did you say?"

"There was a little accident in the caves," He said. "Jack's got himself in a bit o'trouble."

"What?!" Mia dropped her jeans on the sand. "Is he ok?"

"How in the Hell should I know?" He grumbled and kept walking.

If something happened to Jack, they lost their only doctor. Mia's medical training was higher than most; but nowhere near as good as doctor. She had to make sure he was okay. Tossing her now sandy jeans up onto the makeshift clothesline Claire had set up; she ran for the jungle.

"Where are you goin'?!"

Mia turned. He caught her off guard again; why would he care where she went all of a sudden? "To check on Jack; where do you think?"

"Kate already went flouncin' off after him," He said, bitterness flying off his tongue as he swaggered back towards her. "And I'm sure all the cave-folk can handle it; he don't need you answering his distress call, too."

"Are you _trying_ to piss me off?" Mia snapped at him. "Seriously; are you jealous that I'd rather go and help Jack instead of staying here and avoiding you? I'm not playing that game with you, Sawyer!"

His eyes were narrowed, contorting his face into an unattractive sneer. "Do what you want, Mayday," He finally said. "You always do."

**xxx**

As it turned out, Jack was fine. The cave had collapsed, but Charlie had managed to wriggle in there and get Jack out. Aside from a sprained wrist, he hadn't suffered anything more serious than some cuts and scrapes.

Try as she might; Mia was unable to keep herself away from the island drama. Bizarre things continued to happen. Someone attacked Sayid before he could get the transmission signal working; and they destroyed his equipment. And on top of that, Sawyer had beaten up Boone for searching through his stash for his sister's inhalers.

It seemed like just being stranded wasn't enough for everyone; they had to butt heads and create extra tension. Mia wasn't surprised that it was Sawyer who was the cause of this, at least in some part. He had a knack for pissing people off. But a part of her was slightly relieved that he wasn't just taunting her anymore.

Maybe it was this sense of relief that send Mia up the beach in the direction of Sawyer's tent, or maybe it was intuition telling her that she was needed up there; either way it was a good thing she did approach Sawyer's digs because she caught Jack and Sawyer in the midst of a heated discussion.

"What, you think you can just take something out of a suitcase and that makes it yours?" Jack was yelling down at Sawyer who was sitting in a plane chair half buried in the sand.

"Look, I dunno what kinda commie sharing-fest you got going on in cave town," Sawyer sneered as he rose to his feet. "But down here possession is nine tenths."

"Hey!" Mia shouted as she stood between them, she could practically feel the testosterone bubbling from both of them. "What's going on here?"

"He stole Shannon's inhalers." Jack pointed an accusing finger at Sawyer.

"I've seen his stash." Mia held her hand to Jack's chest to keep him back. "I didn't see inhalers."

Sawyer gave Jack a smug smile. "Hear that, Doc?"

Jack frowned. "Boone said he just saw him with his book; maybe he just found the bag."

Mia had to move to keep herself between them. "Or _maybe _he doesn't have them." They didn't need another fight on the beach; if she could avoid it she would, even if it meant she was kind of siding with Sawyer.

Jack sighed and, though his stance remained fierce, his eyes softened as he shared a lingering look with Mia. "Do you really believe that?" He asked quietly.

"You sure you wanna make this your problem, Doc?" Sawyer arrived at Mia's side.

Jack took a stride towards him. "Oh yeah, I'm sure." He growled.

"Jack, drop it." She turned him around by his shoulder and pushed him a little.

"What's going on?" Kate spoke up as she popped up behind Jack.

Jack stared down Sawyer, who glared right back, and then finally retreated down the beach in a huff. Kate trailed after him leaving Mia and Sawyer alone.

"Nice to see you on my side of the fence, Mayday." Sawyer grinned at Mia as Jack and Kate drifted away. "Gets me all nostalgic for the old days."

Turning, Mia set her eyes in a fierce look. "Did you take them?" She asked him.

Sawyer seemed surprised. "You just convinced Jack that I ain't got 'em. What, you tellin' me that was just a bluff?"

"I didn't think it was a good idea for you two to have it out right in the middle of camp." Mia pointed out. "And I know for a fact that your stash isn't where you hide everything."

Sawyer's surprise was replaced with a smirk. "Ah...your envelope. You figure wherever I got that is where I got the inhalers."

Mia shrugged. "I don't know." She said honestly. "I guess I'm hoping that if Shannon has an asthma attack and you _do_ turn out to have her medication; that you might actually help her live instead of watching her die." With that, she left him.

It was just like him to do this. For all she knew, he did have the inhalers. He had her envelope; she knew that. He probably kept it on him, or maybe he'd burnt it or tossed it in the ocean. Sawyer was right when he'd said possession was nine tenths down here, because knowing he had her envelope was eating her up inside. She could almost hear her sister telling her how ridiculous it was to want that piece of paper even now; but she did. She needed it in _her_ possession. After all; it meant more to her than Sawyer anyway.

**xxx**


	5. The Edge

_*includes the original character of Matt Vaughn created by my friend Bec; I used him with her permission...that sounds dirty... ;)*_

**Chapter 5: The Edge**

_(1x08)_

Sawyer felt a throbbing ache in his forehead as he was jolted awake by a spray of cold water in his face. He shook his sandy blonde hair from his eyes and looked up to see Sayid and Jack glaring down at him with contempt beaming from their faces. All Sawyer remembered was Sayid hovering over him while he'd been sleeping in his digs at the beach; and now he was in the jungle. His hands were constricted and he realized he was strapped to a tree.

"Well, ain't you the brave one," Sawyer spat water at their feet. "Jumping a guy while he's napping." Neither of them said a word to him. "Uh-oh, I'm in trouble now, ain't I?"

Jack knelt down to the ground. "Sawyer, I'm giving you the chance to do the right thing." He said calmly. "Now, all I want is the asthma medicine. Just tell me where the inhalers are and we'll stop."

"Stop what, Chico?" It was then that Sawyer's eyes fell on Sayid who was sharpening bamboo shoots into spikes.

"It doesn't have to be this way." Jack said.

If he was trying to show regret; it was coming through. "Yeah, it does." Sawyer sneered back at him.

Jack dropped his head and rose back to his feet as Sayid took his place in front of Sawyer. "We do not have bamboo in Iraq," He said. "Although we do have something similar. Reeds." Sayid dropped to his haunches. "But their effect is the same when the shoots are inserted underneath the fingernails." He mimed the technique with his hands in front of Sawyer's eyes.

"You know what I think, Ali. I think you've never actually tortured anybody in your life."

Sayid moved around behind the tree. "Unfortunately for us both," He squatted down and grabbed Sawyer's bound hands. "You're wrong."

Sawyer grunted as he felt the bamboo slice into his skin. It was painful; but bearable. "That's it? That's all you got?" He panted. "Splinters? No wonder we kicked your ass in the Gulf-" Sayid dug the bamboo deeply and roughly under Sawyer's nails causing him to scream. "AGHHH!!!"

"Sayid." Jack called, his tone warning the soldier to stop. "Sayid!"

Sawyer sucked in deep breaths of air as he felt the pain under his fingers dissipate. "No." He snarled. "Don't stop now. I think my sinuses are clearing." He let out a tired cackle.

Jack looked ready to kill him. "What the hell is wrong with you?" He demanded.

Sayid tossed the bamboo to the ground and removed a knife from his waistband. He snatched up Sawyer's chin and pushed his head back against the tree. "Perhaps losing an eye will loosen your tongue?" He pressed the side of the blade against Sawyer's cheek just below his eye.

_This ain't worth losing an eye_...Sawyer thought to himself. "Okay!" He relented. "_Okay_!" Sayid removed the knife.

"Where is it?" Jack insisted again.

There was only one person he could think to help him out; even though he knew he'd pay dearly for what he was about to divulge. "Only person I'll tell is her.

Jack shrugged. "Who?"

He gave him a smug smile. "My wife."

**xxx**

"He thinks he can find peanut butter?" Mia smiled as she tossed her damp gray hoodie over the Claire's makeshift clothesline.

"Yep," Claire giggled. "If he finds it I said I'd move to the caves." Mia frowned. "Obviously he's not gonna find it." She assured her. "So I'll be staying put."

Mia smirked. "Well...it would be kinda awesome if Charlie managed to find peanut butter on this island."

"Mia!" Kate's frantic yell punctured through their sweet moment as the brunette came running in from the treeline onto the beach.

"What's wrong?" Mia scanned Kate up and down; she was panting and beads of sweat were running off her forehead. "Are you okay?"

"I, ah," She glanced cautiously at Claire. "I need to talk to you." She raised her eyebrows; indicating she'd rather they were alone. Mia assured Claire she'd be back soon and ducked off with Kate nearby Sawyer's vacated digs. Kate then began to reveal the reason she looked to frazzled.

"Sayid is _torturing_ Sawyer?" Mia repeated; not sure she'd heard Kate right.

"It's not like that." Kate said hurriedly. "Jack and Sayid are sure Sawyer has Shannon's inhalers; and she's having an asthma attack in the caves, but he won't hand them over."

"Wait; back up, why do they think Sawyer has them?" Mia folded her arms. "I thought Jack-"

"He has them." Kate replied firmly. "I know it." She paused and chewed on her lip before she continued. "He showed me his letter." As she expected; Mia's eyes rounded at this news. "And then told me that if I kissed him he'd give me the inhalers."

Mia almost laughed out loud. "Sounds about right." She muttered. _Sawyer and that letter...just like me and my envelope, I guess._ Granted, Mia didn't have the years of emotional baggage attached to hers yet.

"How he's changed his mind," Kate pressed on. "Said the only person he'd tell is you."

"Me?" Mia echoed. A feeling of dread started to spread over her body. _That bastard_... "Did he tell them?" She asked Kate, her voice sharp and curt. "Jack and Sayid, did he tell them we were married?"

Kate gave her a pitiful smile. "Pretty much."

"That sonuvabitch." Mia cussed. Now she'd have _that_ to deal with.

"Will you help?" Kate asked, her eyes bright with concern for Shannon. Also for Jack and what he was doing.

Mia sighed. She didn't really have a choice; and, _damn him_, Sawyer knew that.

**xxx**

"Alright...I'm here." Mia grumbled; her voice tight and strained, as she slowly approached Sawyer. She tried not to let the image of him on his knees and bound to a tree disturb her. He was sweating profusely and had cuts to his face that had bled down and stained the shoulders of his shirt. "Where are the inhalers?"

"Happy to tell you, honey," He rested his head back against the tree trunk. "As soon as I get a kiss."

Mia felt the corners of her mouth curl into a smile. "Because you were rejected by Kate?"

Sawyer laughed. "She told you about that, huh?"

Mia wandered a little closer to him. "Yes, she did."

"Hell, you know as well as I do how good we were together." His sentence twanged with that thick accent in a song-like way that made Mia shiver. "Baby, I am tied to a tree in a jungle of mystery. I just got tortured by a damn spinal surgeon and a gen-u-ine I-raqi." He locked eyes with her, seeing a weakness. "You really going to let that girl suffocate because you can't bring yourself to give me one little kiss, Mayday? Hell, it's only first base. And it ain't like we haven't hit a few home runs in our time. Lucky for you I ain't greedy."

Mia gulped down a lump of anger; he'd hit her weakness. As if she was going to let Shannon die because she wouldn't kiss him. Then it would be _her_ fault; not his. Even though she'd stood up for him before with Jack; now it was coming back to bite her in the ass. "Okay."

"Okay."

Mia knelt down slowly in front of him; her knees mere inches from his as she leant her face towards his. Inside, she cursed him for making her do this, but she couldn't deny the way her heart was racing. She hadn't kissed him in almost two years; and the physical aspect of their relationship was one of the only things that they ever got right. She rested her hands on his thighs for support as she pressed her open lips against his. His mouth sucked gently against hers as his tongue smoothly rubbed against hers. The kiss sent that same wave of electricity pulsating through Mia's whole body, it made her forget everything and want to pin him down right then and there. But then he moaned against her mouth; and that reminded her where they were, what they were doing and why she was doing it, so Mia pulled her mouth off him at once.

They were both quiet for a few moments, both trying to hide their quickening breath, before Mia looked up to him and raised her eyebrows in expectation.

He gulped. "I don't have it."

Mia felt her eyes narrow. "What?"

"The inhalers; I don't have them." He rested his head back against the tree looking depressed. "I don't know where they are."

Mia shook her head back and forth. "But Kate said...their book. They said you had to have found it in their luggage..."

"The book washed up on shore," Sawyer muttered. "Went in the drink with the rest of the-"

Mia cut him off with a swift elbow across the face. Not only had it been two years since she'd kissed Sawyer; it had been two years since she'd had to use her training. "Screw you." Mia spat at her husband as she rose to her feet and stormed away.

Kate, Sayid and Jack were waiting nearby. "He doesn't have it." Mia told them bitterly as she walked passed; sure there was steam puffing out of her ears.

"He's lying." Sayid scoffed. "Can't you see that? He's been lying from the beginning. He doesn't want us to get off this island. That's why he attacked me."

"Sayid, I said he doesn't have it!" Mia yelled sharply.

"Hold on a minute." Jack stood between them with his arms out.

"He destroyed the transceiver." Sayid growled; his fists balled in fierce anger at his sides

"You don't know that-" Jack started to say, but Sayid had already taken off back towards Sawyer.

Mia and Kate rushed after Jack as he followed, but Sawyer had manage to break free from the bindings on his wrists and tackled Sayid to the ground before he could reach him. The struggled around for a moment before Sawyer let out a pained howl as Sayid stabbed him in the arm with a knife.

"Stop!" Kate cried.

Sayid climbed off Sawyer just as Jack ducked to his knees. He removed the knife causing a spray of blood to spurt from the wound. Kate blanched and turned away whilst Mia, unperturbed by the sight, squatted beside Sawyer across from Jack.

"You hit an artery." Jack told Sayid, even though he didn't take his eyes off the wound. "Keep still, dammit!" He snapped at Sawyer. "Mia; hold his shoulders down." She obliged.

"Sayid, I need my stuff from the caves, my leather backpack. Go!" The suddenly silent Iraqi took off for the caves.

Mia helped pin Sawyer down by his shoulders. "Can you make it stop?" She asked Jack.

"Let go." Sawyer at Jack growled through gritted teeth. "I know you want to."

"Shut up." Jack tried to pinch the wound closed with his fingers. "And stop moving."

"You've been waiting for this, haven't you?" Sawyer growled. "Now you get to be the hero again, because that's what you do -- fix everything up all nice. Already got a last kiss from my wife; what else I got to live for?" He coughed and grunted as Jack applied pressure to his wound. "Hey, Jack, there's something you should know -- if the tables were turned, I'd watch you die." And with that; he blacked out.

"Sawyer?" Mia shook his shoulders to rouse him.

"It's ok; he just passed out." Jack assured her. "He's gonna be fine." Even he didn't try to hide the disappointment in his voice. Mia let go of Sawyer's shoulders and let Jack work on the wound.

When Jack was sure Sawyer would be alright, Mia bolted from the jungle. She'd tried for so long to get away from all of the craziness that would surround her and Sawyer and now for some reason it had followed her to this island. Or he had. Maybe their craziness and Sawyer weren't mutually exclusive. Without him here; none of this would be happening. Mia ran until she hit the beach and her legs gave out. Panting she rested her hands in the warm sand. She could feel tears in her eyes and she wasn't sure where they'd come from. Maybe exhaustion, maybe the realization that she was stuck here, or maybe kissing Sawyer had opened a door she'd been trying to jam closed for two years.

"Hi...are-are you alright?" A calm, male voice called to Mia.

Sitting herself in the sand Mia nodded. "Yeah..." She could see the remains of the fuselage up the right side of the beach so she'd run a fair way through the jungle. The man was coming out of the jungle with a vine of bananas over his shoulder.

"You're Mia, right?" He paused beside her.

"I'm sorry?" She was sure she was giving him a weird look. Normally she was pretty spot-on with faces she'd seen before, but this particularly handsome man she didn't recall.

"Ah, I'm Matt." He flashed her a grin showing a fabulous set of teeth. "We met the other day?"

"Oh...right." Mia did remember him. He'd had a bad head injury from the crash that Jack had been very focused on fixing. "Yeh; I do remember you, Matt. Sorry." She offered him a smile.

Matt grinned back and started to leave, but held back. "Are you sure you're alright... 'cos you don't seem like you are."

Mia sighed. "It's nothing." She replied. "It's just...have you ever been married, Matt?"

"I'm divorced."

"Lucky you." Mia grumbled. "No offence, but you men? You all suck."

"Yeah...we're sorry about that." Matt quipped, smiling as he made Mia giggle.

"Well, you're divorced, so I guess women aren't that great either."

"Actually, I was married to a man." Matt said easily.

"Oh," Mia felt her cheeks heat a little, more to the fact she'd thought he was so gorgeous than the fact she hadn't known he was gay. "Sorry."

"Don't be." He smiled. "Men, women, we're all assholes at some point in our lives."

Mia nodded in approval. "I like you."

Matt chuckled and rearranged the load on his back. "I'll leave you alone." With a wave and another handsome smile, he left her.

As she watched Matt head back to camp, Mia let her eyes wander out to sea and her mind wander back. Back to when she and Sawyer were together and everything was good. At least, for a little while. But even when it was good; it had been bad. That was the tragic irony of their relationship.

**xxx**

_2001_

Sawyer loosened his tie as he trudged him his front steps. He needed a drink; badly. He'd just walked away from one hell of a deal. Why? Because of Jess's damn kid. He'd seen himself in that little boy; and his much as he wanted that cash; he couldn't do to that little boy what the first Sawyer did to him. And so he'd called it off. Now he was regretting it; because Mia would not be happy.

She was waiting for him in the living room nervously biting her nails and jumped straight to her feet when he came blustering in. "Well?" She asked expectantly.

Sawyer walked straight past her and through to the kitchen where he retrieved an ice cold beer from the fridge. "Want one?" he asked over his shoulder.

"No..." Mia folded her arms as she joined him in the kitchen. They'd been together for eight months now; she knew him too well for him to think he could get past her like this. "What the hell happened, Sawyer?"

"You ain't my wife, I don't gotta tell you everything I do!" He slammed the fridge shut and snapped the top off his beer.

"You do when you come home looking like that." Mia retorted.

Sawyer hung his head in exasperation as he slouched into a chair. "Not again with this, Mia."

Mia leant her hands on the table. "What do you want me to think?"

"I'm fine." He took a long drink from the beer bottle. "This is what I do - -what _we_ do. Sometimes...sometimes things go wrong..."

"What does _that_ mean?"

Sawyer took another long drink before he answered her. "I walked away." He mumbled.

Mia wasn't sure she'd heard him correctly; she couldn't believe it was true. "What?"

"Don't worry." Sawyer rose to his feet. "We'll try it again."

"What?!" Mia bellowed and grabbed his arm. "You walked away! Why?!

"Let it go, baby." He took a swig from his beer as he disappeared down the dark hallway.

"James!!!" Mia bellowed, her fists balled in rage at her sides. He didn't reply. Her frustration lashed out at the closest thing she could get her hands on; the chair Sawyer had been sitting on. She shoved it hard against the wall. "Dammit!" She cried out as she heard Sawyer slam their bedroom door. He didn't know. He didn't know how much she needed this; how much she needed a con to go down. He didn't know what it meant. It wasn't about the money; she couldn't care less about it. That wasn't part of her job.

She needed to know _how_ he did it.

**xxx**

Mia swung by Sawyer's tent and saw that he was still asleep. Kate was sitting in a plane chair beside him holding Sawyer's envelope. Mia gestured to Kate to come over to her, away from Sawyer's earshot.

"So, you know what this is all about, I guess?" Kate held up the letter.

"Yeh; I know." Mia was a little too familiar with Sawyer's past as a conman, and this letter that had apparently started it all. "I'm guessing you figured it out, too."

"Reckon he'll talk about it?"

"If you call him on it." Mia glanced at Sawyer's dozing, shirtless body watching his tanned chest rise and fall with each deep breath he took. "I'll, ah, see you later, ok?"

"Sure." Kate gave her a warm smile and patted her arm as they parted ways.

Whatever Kate wanted to say to Sawyer; Mia was sure she'd get him to say it, but she didn't want to be around to see the fallout. Instead, Mia went back to check on her clothes and was glad to find they had dried in during the heat of the day. Claire wasn't nearby, but Charlie had been spending a lot of time with her today so Mia wasn't concerned. She was folding her gray hoodie and playing that scene in the jungle over and over in her mind when Jack joined her.

"Why didn't you tell me, Mia?" He asked. He didn't sound mad; he sounded hurt. "That you and Sawyer were married?"

Mia was a little put off; it wasn't any of his business. "It wasn't something I wanted everyone to know." She replied as she continued to fold clothes.

"Why'd you keep it a secret?"

Mia folded her last pair of jeans and stacked her clothes together. "The same reason you're not going to tell everyone that you spent the afternoon watching Sayid torturing Sawyer." She replied pointedly. "You don't want them to get the wrong impression. You're ashamed of it... and you don't want that one act to be what defines you here, on this island."

Jack nodded his head slowly; in a mutual understanding. He got what she was saying; and he wasn't going to push it. But he did have one more question. "Was he always like this?"

Mia sighed and smiled. "Pretty much."

"Why'd you marry him?"

Mia smiled; happy to be able to give an easy and truthful answer. "Because I loved him." It was as simple as that.

**xxx**


	6. All But One

**Chapter 6: All But One**

_(1x08-1x10)_

As it turned out, Charlie did find peanut butter. Rather, he found an empty jar and pretended there was peanut butter inside. But that was enough to convince Claire to move to the caves. Mia wasn't too keen on seeing her go but she wasn't going to hold her down. And it did make sense for her to be where the doctor was, but Mia couldn't let her go without telling her the truth about Sawyer. Now that Kate, Jack and Sayid knew, and Sawyer wasn't holding it in anymore, she felt worse about keeping it from Claire. However, she didn't get the angry reaction she expected. Instead Claire grinned and said "I would have kept it a secret, too" and then made Mia promise to come to the caves to visit every couple of days.

After Claire left, Mia moved her stuff into Claire's shelter. It was sturdier than her tent and a little bit bigger. The fact that it was also further away from Sawyer was a bonus. She didn't think she could be any madder at him, but she was. Conning her into kissing him made her so furious she wanted to punch something – or someone – or maybe it was the fact that she had enjoyed it, even just for a moment, that she was mad. Whatever the reason; she was mad, so she spent the rest of the day holed up in her new tent reading and trying to look invisible so no one would bother her. Thankfully, for their sakes, no one did.

**xxx**

_September 22, 2004 - morning_

"Mia; this is ridiculous!" Bree cried at her older sister as she watched her slowly picking out something from her closet to wear. "How can you be considering going to see him?"

"He's being deported, Bree." Mia reminded her as she settled on dark gray jeans and a black singlet.

"Yeah, but he only had them call you to mess with you." Bree challenged, folding her arms across her soft, emerald, terry-cloth bathrobe as her sister got changed.

Mia let out a loud sigh. "Maybe." She agreed as she buttoned her jeans. "But he'll never be allowed back in Australia after this." She went to her dresser and pulled out the faded yellow envelope from her top drawer. "Which means this is the last chance I have to get him to sign these."

"Aunt Mia!" Lara hollered as she came bounding into the room, severing the conversation. "Mummy says you're going for a drive; can I come, too?" She threw her arms around her Aunt's waist and squeezed her.

"Sorry, Monster," Mia smoothed Lara's chocolate brown curls over her head. "Not this time; but I won't be gone long, I promise." She kissed her nieces crown and untangled herself from her grip.

"Lara, go finish your breakfast, baby." Bree told her daughter, still shaken by this news that her sister was going to see _him_. "Then we can get ready and go to the park."

"Ok, Mummy." She went skipping out of the room.

"I just..." Bree chewed her lip and shook her head; giving her the concerned expression of someone much older than only twenty-six years of age. "You two worked so hard to stay away from each other. You gave up your job, your home... and now..."

"Bree," Mia approached her baby sister and rested her comforting hands on her shoulders. "This is the _last_ time. He'll sign the papers; and that's it. Then I'll meet you two at the park." She beamed a reassuring smile.

Bree let herself smile back. "It's really that important to you, isn't it?"

"Yeah," Mia picked up the envelope again and tucked it into her bag. "I need it to be over. We need to be divorced."

**xxx**

Managing to put their bickering aside for a minute or two, Jack was able to change Sawyer's bandage. But just because he felt the need to change it so it wouldn't get infected didn't mean that he had to be gentle.

"Ow, easy, Jackass." Sawyer grumbled as Jack ripped off the medical tape off the bandage.

"You want it easy, quit moaning." Jack muttered as he removed a clean bandage from his backpack. "I've got to change these bandages."

"Well, try not taking my skin off with them." He let out a long sigh. "How'd I score the house call, Dr. Quinn. Trying to ease your conscience?"

"My conscience is fine, thanks."

"Of course, what do you have to feel guilty about? I mean, you just let that damn Arab torture me -- stood by and watched. You figure you patch me up -- buy you a ticket into heaven? Only reason you're here-"

"I'm here because no one else wants anything to do with you."

Sawyer glared at him; but then found himself smirking proudly. "She does."

"Mia?" Jack grinned. "Yeah; she seemed really interested in you when she ran away from you in the jungle." The smirk on Sawyer's face disappeared. "Change your own bandages."

Sawyer glared after Jack as he stomped away and then cast his eyes up the beach where he saw his estranged wife staring at him. She didn't look away when she saw him looking; rather just kept staring back. Even though she was a good fifty feet away; he could clearly see her anger almost radiating around her. Okay, so he's tricked her into kissing him; but he knew that she'd enjoyed it just has much as he had. It was chemical; even after all this time they were still into each other. Granted; she would never come near him again after that, but it was still nice to feel something other than everyone's hatred for once. Even if the person who had made him feel that way was now one of the people seething at him from afar.

**xxx**

It wasn't until that afternoon that Mia learned that Sayid had wandered off into the jungle. Kate told her he'd left the evening before; racked with guilt over what he'd done to Sawyer. She said he told him that torturing someone was an act he'd sworn never to engage in again. Apart from that incident; that day had actually been very pleasant. Hurley had found a set of golf clubs and somehow created a miniature golf course on the nearby mountain tops. It was so bizarre that it felt normal; and everyone got involved. They played a knockout tournament; everyone got a hit until it was down to just Charlie and Jack.

It was a surprisingly a lot of fun. Mia was knocked out pretty early on, golf had never been her favourite sport anyway, but stuck around to watch the end of the game. It got pretty lively towards the finish; people started yelling out bets. Mia bet her sunglasses on Jack to win, Kate bet her dinner on Jack as well, but the shock better was none other than Sawyer.

When Kate had heard about the golf course; she'd mentioned to Sawyer that outcasts should make more of an effort if they wanted to be liked by everyone. She'd relayed this to Mia when she'd arrived at the course; but neither of them expected him to show up. So when he popped in betting two tubes of sunscreen against Jack; it took them both by surprise.

"I'll take that action." Kate grinned.

Mia looked to Sawyer and saw him smiling, not smirking, but smiling at her. "Yeah, me too." She found herself echoing Kate, moreso to keep morale positive than to diminish her anger at her husband.

"You just bet on me." Jack reminded her.

"Sorry." Mia shrugged and sent him a wicked little grin, one that she didn't care of Sawyer noticed or not. "Changed my mind."

The sun set soon after and they had to call it quits for the day. Jack did end up winning so Mia was able to hold onto her sunglasses and Kate, her dinner. They all trailed back to the beach together in one big group; it was the most Mia had felt like they were working together since the day of the crash. She actually felt a shift in personalities and in the way everyone reacted to one another. Unsure if this was a good or bad sign for their hopes of rescue, Mia was able to curl up in her tent that night and sleep quite soundly. She should have known that it was the calm before the storm; she should have felt it. Instead; she let herself dream about happy memories with someone who could never be the man she let her subconscious make him out to be.

**xxx**

News that Claire had been attacked came swiftly from the caves back to the beach with Jack. He'd been bringing back some water with Charlie when he'd told Mia and Kate that she'd had an nightmare two nights ago, but the night before she'd woken up everyone at the caves screaming that someone was trying to hurt her baby by injecting her belly with something. The scare had spurred Hurley on to start gathering everyone's names, creating a census, so they could narrow down whom it might be who attacked her. Mia had already given her info to him by the time she joined Kate.

"Did you see anyone leave the beach last night?" Jack asked both Kate and Mia as they huddled with Charlie away from the bulk of the beach camp.

"People come and go," Kate shrugged. "It's not like we keep track."

Mia noticed something flicker in Jack's eyes; something quizzical. "What is it?" She called him on it.

"I'm not sure anything actually happened to her." Jack admitted.

Charlie looked insulted by this. "Wait, what?"

"Claire told Michael and I that this attacker tried to inject her with something. But there was no mark on her stomach." Jack shrugged, almost at a loss of what to do. "She wakes up two nights in a row screaming. The first time she was sleep-walking."

"You think she was making this up?" Charlie snapped defensively. "She was terrified, man!"

"Look, she said that the guy was trying to hurt her baby," Jack raised his eyebrows "Why would someone do that now with all of us sleeping 20 feet away?"

"So, you think she's lying?" Mia questioned. She hadn't gone to see Claire yet; but she made a mental note to do so as soon as they were done here.

Jack sighed in frustration. "No. Pregnant women have extremely lucid-"

"Lucid, right." Charlie cut in sarcastically.

"These are textbook anxiety nightmares." Jack continued.

"You know everything that's going on with everyone?"

"Hey." Kate silenced him. "So what do we do?" She asked Jack.

"She's due in a little more than a week, maybe two," Jack said, his voice clearly expressing his worry about the poor young woman. "But if she stays stressed out like this, or has another panic attack it could trigger an early labor. And out here, with no instruments, no monitors, no anesthetic…" He grimaced. "That would not be good." He left the statement hanging out there, and it caused all of them to remain silent as they tried to force themselves not to think of the worst possible outcome.

"It's not all in her head." Charlie finally said; and then he left the three of them alone.

One of the survivors Mia didn't know very well, Rose, flagged Jack down to inspect a cut on her hand so Mia left Kate and headed back to her tent. Whilst moving into Claire's former residence she found a book on astrology that the girl had left behind. Since her water bottles were running out anyway, Mia figured this was the perfect chance to get a few things done. She grabbed the book and a couple of her remaining water bottles and headed off for the caves.

Even though Mia knew it would take her a couple of hours to get to the caves at a brisk walk, she didn't hurry to get there and she wasn't sure why. Claire was her friend and she was in trouble; surely she'd bolt to be at her side. Instead, she found herself ambling along and feeling almost at peace. Something about being in the crisp, jungle air soothed her. Perhaps it was the fact that the plane wreckage was still on the beach, so it was hard not to remember where they were when she was there. But out here, her mind could wander. She could just be taking a walk on her way home.

Only twice did she wander off the path to the caves; but she managed to find her way back quite easily. She was glad some of her training was coming in handy. She glance to the sky and noticed the sun in the West; she hadn't realized how long she'd been walking. It was probably closer to four hours now.

As she hit the familiar turf on the way to the caves, her mind clicked back into survival mode and she sped up a little. She was going to find Claire and hopefully her friend would be ok. Mia was threading her way through some thickets when she heard a familiar accent calling her name.

"Charlie?" She called behind her, the source of the yell. A moment later she saw the rock star wild eyed and panicked as he burst onto the path.

"Thank God," He panted. "You have to help, it's Claire she's having the baby!"

Mia's eyes bulged. "What?!"

"She was heading back to the beach and she started having contractions." He rambled breathlessly. "Come on, come with me." He tugged on her arm.

Mia pulled back,. "Wait, we need to get Jack-"

"Ethan's getting him; come on!" He yanked her harder forwards and they ran further up the path. Charlie led her straight to Claire who was sitting on the ground holding her belly and rocking back and forth. "Are you ok?" He asked her as he fell to his knees beside her.

"It hurts." Claire groaned.

"It's ok, take my hand," He slid his fingers through hers. "Breathe in and out."

Claire drew in some deep breaths. "Did you get Jack?"

"He's coming. I brought Mia."

Mia slid her bag off her shoulder. "Are you ok?" She crouched to the blonde's side and touched her shoulder. She was very pale and clearly frightened.

"I-I dunno, it's too soon for this," She said shakily. "I can't have the baby now."

"Jack'll be here soon," Mia tried to reassure her. "Look, when my sister had her baby she had, like, three false labours before my niece was finally born three weeks late." Mia tried to focus on Claire; if she thought about her family too much she was worried she'd just burst into tears. There was no one she missed more than her sister and her niece. She'd managed to keep them out of her mind for the most part, but being with Claire tended to bring out the big sister and Aunt in her.

"How old's your niece?" Claire asked, eager for the distraction.

"Almost six." Mia grinned and retrieved one of the water bottles from her bag. "Her name's Lara." She offered the drink to Claire. "I have a picture of her back at the beach, I'll show you when you feel better." She hoped the thought of something to do later on might ease Claire's mind a little. Of course, then she remembered where the photo was. In that _friggin_ envelope.

Claire managed to steady her breathing and for the next ten minutes, waiting expectantly for another contraction. But none came. She instead began to feel an immense wave of relief and relaxation.

"Where the Hell is Jack?" Charlie voiced worriedly as his eyes scanned the jungle around them.

Feeling stronger, Claire heaved herself up onto her feet with Mia and Charlie helping her rise. "I think...I think I'm alright."

"The contractions...?" Mia raised her eyebrows and kept a firm hold on Claire, afraid she'd fall over or collapse or something.

Claire shook her head. "No pain...maybe that was the last one. Please let that be the last one..."

"Hm, birthing emergency averted." Charlie grinned. "I told you I'd take care of you."

"Thanks, Charlie." Claire beamed gratefully. "And Mia." She added, making Mia smile, too.

"You're quite welcome."

"Think you can make it back to the caves?" When Claire cast her eyes down, nervous, Charlie tenderly touched her shoulder. "I won't let anything happen to you."

Claire let herself smile again. "Okay." She agreed.

Finally content, the three of then headed back to the caves. Mia still had bottles to fill up and she would rather help Charlie settle Claire than go back to the beach while the sun set. Claire seemed to regain her strength steadily as they walked. At first she had held onto both Charlie and Mia, but eventually she walked on her own with a hand to her belly. That was until she suddenly grasped Mia's arm making them all stop immediately.

"What?" Mia almost shouted, she was so worried they wouldn't get back to Jack before something happened.

"No, nothing," Claire lifted her head and was smiling. "He just kicked." She pulled Charlie's hand across her belly and pressed it against her skin. "Here."

Charlie's eyes rounded in amazement and he chuckled as he felt a little foot nudge against his hand. Mia let out a relieved sigh; she was too on edge. Nothing was going to happen to Claire.

"Hello, there."

Mia jumped as the male voice caught her ears. Up ahead of them she saw Ethan, who admittedly she didn't know very well, just standing there. Jack was nowhere in sight; and something in Mia's stomach started to twinge.

"Ethan." Charlie creased his eyebrows together when he saw the man alone.

"Where's Jack?" Mia asked warily, eying him up and down. He looked so strange at that moment; his eyes were locked on Claire as though she was the only one there.

All of a sudden, Ethan ran towards them, Mia jumped in front of Charlie and Claire and slugged Ethan across the face with her fist. He wasn't expecting her attack; but he recovered quickly sending a backhanded slap across her cheek. Mia tried to trip him by hooking her heel behind his ankle but he grabbed her wrist and spun her so her back was pressed against his chest with his arm locked around her neck.

"Charlie, run!" Mia yelled as she clung to Ethan's wrist to keep it from pressing against her windpipe.

Charlie snatched Claire's arm and they started to run. Mia felt Ethan's face pull away from her and from the corner of her, could see him remove something from his pocket. It looked kind of like a taser. He aimed it at Charlie and fired; hitting him in the neck causing him to collapse to the dirt in a painful seizure. Claire screamed and clasped her arms protectively around her belly. Mia tried to yell at her to run but couldn't. A jabbing pain stung in her neck, she knew it had to be a needle, and a second later she blacked out with Claire's cries reverberating in her ears as she fell heavily to the ground.

**xxx**


	7. Aftermath

**Chapter 7: Aftermath**

_(1x11-1x12)_

_"Jack! She's here!"_

_"Mia? Can you hear me?"_

_"Is she alive?"_

_"She's breathing..."_

_"Her neck..."_

_"I think she's been sedated..."_

_"By who?"_

_"Let's get her back to the caves."_

When her heavy eyes finally fluttered open, Mia didn't know where she was. Her mouth was dry and her head was throbbing. She could hear someone shouting "She's awake!" but couldn't identify the speaker. Mia just focused on keeping her eyes blinking until she managed to focus on a face hovering in front of her.

"Mia? Do you know who I am?" He asked as he held her face between his hands.

"Yeah, Jack," Mia croaked. Her throat was so dry that talking made her cough.

"Ok, here, have some water," He had a water bottle to her lips a moment later and poured the cool liquid into her mouth.

Mia coughed and spluttered some more, but gratefully swallowed down the water. Jack helped her sit up and Mia realized Kate was on her other side assisting her as well. "Thanks." She panted and leant back against the pillow behind her head which she would later realize was debris from the plane. "What time is it?" She looked around and recognized the well of water; she was in the caves.

"Very early." Jack inspected a wound on her forehead. "Do you remember anything?"

"Ah..." Mia's brain felt like it was throbbing as she tried to remember. She'd been heading to the caves to see Claire that morning. Claire! "Oh God, Claire and Charlie!" She tried to get up but Jack kept her down; it was a good thing he did because she was overcome with dizziness. "Are they okay?"

"We found Charlie." Kate replied; nodding over to where the former rock star was sleeping, finally. "And then we found you."

"Ethan." Mia remembered now, very clearly, the predatory look in his eye. If they had found her and Charlie; that could only mean one thing for her friend. "He took Claire, didn't he?"

Jack nodded mournfully. "Yeah..."

Mia's arm suddenly flew to her neck. "He injected me with something." She expected to feel a bump; but nothing felt strange except her neck muscles were aching slightly.

"I know; you were bleeding a little." Jack explained while he put his hand to her neck, running his fingers gently across the skin. "Explains why it took you so long to wake up. Probably a sedative."

Mia dropped her sore head into her hands. "What made Ethan do that?" she asked. Granted, she hadn't known him all that well; but he'd been helpful enough around camp. When neither Jack nor Kate answered her, Mia made herself look at them and saw the pained expressions on both of their faces. "What?"

"Ethan..." Jack sighed. "He wasn't on the plane."

"What?"

"He's not one of us." Kate added.

"Then who is he?"

"We're not sure." Jack reached into his pocket and pulled out a bottle of aspirin. "Look; take a couple of these and try to get some sleep."

Mia scoffed. "While Claire is still out there?"

"We're gonna go out looking for her as soon as it's light out." Jack assured her. "I promise." He rested a hand on her shoulder. "Please, get some rest, ok?"

Even though she'd been unconscious for awhile, Jack reminded her that blacking out and sleeping are two different things, and with the trauma she'd been through she needed to rest. Once she laid her head down, exhaustion swept over her and she quickly drifted off into a deep, yet restless, sleep.

**xxx**

_Tikrit – February 1999_

The air whipped Mia's hair into her face as the helicopter steadily approached its target landing. Mia's heart was racing and her adrenaline was pumping; a great sign. She needed the energy push. The desert below them was barren and isolated and as the chopper neared the ground; it began to stir up dust storms. It wouldn't be long until they were spotted which meant Mia needed to get into the right frame of mind; immediately.

"You ready to get movin', Rowan?" Agent Rork bellowed over the roaring of the chopper's engine as he shoved some chewing gum into his mouth.

Mia grinned at him and slid her sunglasses over her eyes. "I was born ready, Rork."

"Special day for you, am I right sweetheart?" He smiled that cheeky smile he always did.

"Five years with SRF," Mia double checked the rounds in her handgun and slid it into the hip holster that circled her waist. "And I'm still not your sweetheart, Joey."

"One day, Ro, one day." Rork laughed.

"Agents! Clip on! Descent in thirty seconds!"

"Yes, Sir!" Mia and Rork both chorused back to Commander Blake who was barking orders from the passenger's seat of the chopper.

"I want you two in and out of there in two minutes; you got that?" Blake cried.

Mia clipped her carabineer onto the safety rope attached to the chopper as Rork did the same on the opposite side. "Yes, Sir!"

"Radio's on?"

Mia clicked on her radio and immediately heard the familiar buzzing through her earphones.

"And Rowan," Commander Blake turned in his seat and looked at her. "Don't mess it up."

"Wouldn't dream of it, Sir," Mia replied as she and Rork leant backwards out of the chopper hanging by their safety ropes. They waited until they heard their Commander shout the codeword into their headphones before they both sprang off the chopper and abseiled freely down to the ground.

It didn't matter how many times she did this, Mia always got a rush. Her gloves kept her hands protected as she floated to the ground within a few seconds. Her uniform coloured in shades of light brown meshed with the sandy Tikrit desert keeping her well hidden. Rork landed beside her a moment later which made her smirk; he could never beat her down the rope.

When Mia's feet hit the sand her work brain clicked on, she unhooked her safety rope, pulled out her handgun and stormed towards the house ahead of them. She could hear Rork trudging along behind her as well as him mumbling some song through her earpiece as he always did. After two years together at this; she was used to it. It helped him work; just like the gum. Not even checking if the door was open, Mia kicked it down and made her way through the hall. The schematic of the home was imprinted in Mia's mind; she knew just where she had to go and how long it would take her to get there.

Mia and Rork split up; him to double check the house was empty and her to acquire the target, but kept in contact via radio.

"Looks like you were right, Ro," Rork whispered into his mouthpiece. "This place is empty."

"That's 'cos they got their money." Mia replied as she made her way to the basement through a door through the kitchen. "They don't need him anymore."

"Upstairs is clear." Rork said a moment later. "You got him?"

"Standby." Mia replied as she descended the basement steps; what she saw made her smile. Cowering in a corner was the man she was after, Thomas Haskett, an American diplomat. "Tom Haskett?" Mia asked keeping her gun squarely aimed at him.

"Ye-yes..." His body shook as he raised his hands in the air. "Wh-Who are you?"

"Mr. Haskett, I'm Agent Rowan with the Special Reconnaissance Forces," She grinned as she pulled him to his feet. "And I'll be your rescuer this evening." She pressed her earpiece deeper into her ear. "Commander, we have the target!"

"Then what are you waiting for? Get the hell back out here."

"You got it, Boss." Rork's voice crackled in Mia's ear.

Taking Thomas securely by his upper arm, Mia led him upstairs and back through the house. They met up with Rork in the kitchen before hastily exiting out the back door.

Target acquired; evacuation in progress, smooth and swift; just how Mia liked it.

They were back on the chopper less than twenty seconds later. Mia strapped Thomas into the seatbelt beside her before clipping her own belt on over her shoulders.

"Who _are_ you?" Thomas stared at her in awe as the helicopter took off.

Mia flashed him a charming smile. "I'm the best there is."

**xxx**

Mia could feel someone's eyes on her before she woke up; it was very unnerving to know she was being watched while she slept. Slowly, she opened her eyes and saw the foggy shape of Sayid sitting beside her. He had a bandage on his head and his pant leg was pulled up revealing a large bandage over his calf. "Good morning." He said.

"When did you get back?" Mia asked as she slowly sat herself up. Last she heard, Sayid was off in the jungle searching for some sort of redemption after he tortured Sawyer.

"Yesterday." His eyes scanned her body, pausing on the bandage to her forehead where Jack had covered a deep gash and then down her arms where various scratches and cuts still reddened her skin. "I heard what happened to you and Charlie."

Mia glanced around the caves and noticed how empty they were. She didn't see Jack or Kate, however she saw Matt filling some water bottles and Sun folding some clothes; she looked up when Mia glanced her way and gave her a warm smile. "Where is everyone?"

"Out looking for Claire." Sayid answered, his deep brown eyes set on her as if waiting to see her flinch.

"What happened to you?" Mia thrust her chin at his leg.

"I found the French woman." He replied as easily as if she'd just asked him what time it was.

Mia involuntarily did a double take, her eyes bulging in shock. "What?"

"Her name is Danielle Rousseau." Sayid then went on to explain everything that had happened to him while he was away. About how he'd fallen into a trap and been taken to her hideout, how she had tortured him for information thinking that he was one of 'the Others', people she claimed were on the island, how she had shipwrecked sixteen years ago with her team, but now she was the only surviving member because they had all been 'infected' and she had killed them. "I was lucky enough to be let go; but I don't think she is a friend to us. She has been alone for far too long."

Mia listened with great intrigue as he divulged all of this information to her. It seemed so odd; why would he trust her with this? It definitely wasn't the sort of thing the whole camp was going to know; yet Sayid seemed to think it safe to trust Mia even though they had only had brusque, tense conversations since they had met. "Why are you telling me all of this?" She asked him.

His eyes searched hers, peering for something that he couldn't identify. "Because I'm hoping you will tell me something else about you."

Having to force herself not to roll her eyes, Mia let out a short sigh. "What?"

"Your knuckles."

Glancing down at her right hand, Mia saw several bruises over her knuckles and some dry blood, presumably transferred from Ethan to her when she'd slugged him.

"You fought for your life." Sayid stated.

"Most people would when they're attacked." Mia said coolly.

"Yes," Sayid agreed. "But you are not most people." He leant forwards so their conversation wouldn't be overheard. "There are things about you that do not add up." He muttered. "Lying about your marriage to Sawyer, your tracking skills and your fearlessness...they do not seem like the traits of any ordinary person." Noting the stern look that crossed her face, Sayid continued. "Who were you before we crashed?"

This was it; she could either lie or tell the truth. Considering herself as the kind of person who could read someone's motives quite well, Mia found it discomforting that she wasn't sure where Sayid was coming from. He was dangerous; that much she knew (even before he'd tortured Sawyer) but he had an air of immense trust about him; honesty. However, since he was a torturer in the army he was surely skilled at portraying a friendship just to get the information he desired. On the other hand; did Mia care if he knew? Her biggest concern on this island was the fallout of her marriage to Sawyer; her job was something she was proud of. Well, she had been before she'd had to leave. And maybe it would make Sayid back off a little. "I was an agent with a confidential sector of the US Army called the Special Reconnaissance Forces." She divulged. "I was recruited from Australia when I was 24. I'm what they call an Extraction Expert. People in hostage situations, I'm the one who gets them out."

"Like a negotiator?"

"No. That's not my job. _My _job is to get the victim out of there alive. I see someone in trouble; and I already know how I'm gonna get 'em out. I know the exits. I know how many guards I gotta knock down to get outside and I know how long it's gonna take me to get to safety."

"You've killed people."

"I will do what I need to do to get that person out safely." Mia replied.

Sayid mused quietly for a moment "I don't understand how Sawyer fits into this life..."

"He doesn't." Mia admitted.

"Did he know?"

"No." Her voice was curt; cold. Sayid sensed it; so he stopped probing into her business. The glare on her face was enough to tell him he'd gotten all he was going to get out of her.

"Mia?"

_Speak of the Devil_, Mia thought as Sawyer entered the caves. "Hey..." She said warily, trying to recall if this was the first time he'd used her name since they crashed.

"I'll speak to you later." Sayid said as he got unsteadily to his feet and hobbled away, sharing a death glare with Sayid as they edged past each other.

Sawyer shot a dimpled smirk at Mia. "You two are friends now, huh?"

"Not exactly." Mia replied, pursing her lips. "He doesn't trust me."

Sawyer didn't say anything as he sat where Sayid had been sitting, he had his own issues with Sayid that he'd come to the caves to hash out, and that they would in due time. "Heard what happened..." He gestured to the cut on her head. "You ok?"

"I'll live." Mia gave him a wobbly smile, more due to what she'd just blurted out to Sayid than from having a decent conversation with her estranged husband. "Did you come here to check on me, Sawyer?"

He pulled his cheeks into a dimpled grin. "And what if I did?"

"Thank you." _Crap, I must have a concussion, why am I thanking him?_ It certainly created more tension than she would have liked. Sawyer quickly rose to his feet and muttered something about getting back to the beach before he retreated out of the caves a little too fast.

Maybe it was a concussion, maybe it was whatever she'd been injected with, but it was just nice to have someone speak to her without judging her. That was the one good thing about having someone around who already knew her secrets; he knew them and he still cared enough to check on her.

**xxx**


	8. Playing The Fool

**Chapter 8: Playing The Fool**

_(1x12-1x14)_

"Mia; you have to rest, you've been through a trauma." Jack tried unsuccessfully to block her path to the jungle.

"We've _all _been through a trauma, Jack." Mia replied, rearranging her backpack on her shoulders. She felt much better today; and while Claire was out there alone Mia wasn't going to sit and wait for something to happen. Even though it had been two years since she'd been in the force; her re-con instincts were still very astute. Claire was in danger, so Mia had to save her. The only apparent obstacle was getting past Jack.

"If she _has _been taken, what are you going to do if you find her?" Jack raised his eyebrows expectantly. "Whoever these people are they took down you and Charlie with ease."

Pausing, a smirk played at Mia's lips. "You worried about me?"

"We don't know what's out there," Jack told her firmly. "Of course I'm worried."

"Ain't that just like a true doc," Sawyer sang out as he swaggered up behind Mia. "Caring for your patients and all."

"You can't tell me you're okay with her going out there alone." Jack asked him incredulously.

Mia glared at Jack, all remnants of her smirk disappearing in an instant. "Don't talk about me like I'm not here. I can take care of myself." She snapped.

"You heard the lady," Sawyer grinned in elation. "'Sides, she won't be alone."

Mia looked back at her husband; her eyes rounding in confusion. He wanted to come with her? That was new. Although; Sawyer took any chance he could to get back at Jack since their little torturing incident so she shouldn't really have been surprised. At any rate; Sawyer's offer silenced Jack which was more than Mia had been able to achieve.

"See? I won't be alone." She grinned smugly at the doctor.

Defeated, Jack relaxed his shoulders and stepped between the estranged couple. "Be careful." He muttered as he headed back to the beach.

Sawyer watched him leave with a gleeful look on his face.

"Don't get any ideas," Mia warned Sawyer. "If you aren't actually here to help me I will leave you out there."

Sawyer laughed. "Well, I'm the one with the gun, ain't I?" He waved his pistol in her face. "Course I'm here to help."

Mia rolled her eyes and headed into the jungle. "Keep up, would you?" She said over her shoulder, walking a few paces faster than she normally would.

"Ohhh...I get it." Sawyer said as he jogged to fall into step beside her. "You're jealous, aren't you?"

"Of?"

"My little skinny dippin' at the waterfall with Kate."

Mia found herself smiling as she trudged through the grass. "Ah, yes, I heard Jack stole your precious Halliburton case."

"Yeah, well," He cleared his throat. "Nothin' in there I wanted, anyway."

"Oh, so you took it just to be an ass?" Mia noted casually as she paused by a tree trying to recall where Charlie had come across her the day before.

"Funny." Sawyer deadpanned. "So, did you hear the latest from beach town? Michael's building himself a raft."

"Really?" Mia raised her eyebrows, impressed with the man's initiative. "For how many of us?"

"Says he doesn't know yet," He leant against a tree trunk and watched Mia work. "Closest thing we got to a reprieve from this hellhole."

Her brow crinkling, Mia rose to her feet and made sure he couldn't see her face. "Sounds like you're planning on going."

"No reason for us to stay on this rock longer than we have to."

"Us?"

"_All _of us." Sawyer confirmed.

"Live together, die alone, right?" Mia said over her shoulder with a smile, enjoying the flash of jealousy that crept into Sawyer's eyes as she echoed Jack's speech.

"Let's keep moving." Sawyer said, hurriedly brushing past her and heading deeper into the jungle.

With a triumphant smile still settled on her face, Mia followed him.

**xxx**

_April 2000_

As Mia walked down the dimly lit hall to her Commander's office she felt a nagging twinge in her side that had nothing to do with her injury. She'd been out of the hospital for almost five weeks now but on doctor's orders had stayed away from work for one whole month. When she walked back into the glorious building where she'd spent the last six years of her life; she felt at home. She felt like she was in the right place. But that comfort was still wrestling with the nagging twinge when Mia rapped her knuckles on her superiors' office door.

"Come in!"

Commander Blake scanned his agent with wise eyes as she entered his office, noting her healing injuries. "Rowan; you look well." He smiled warmly.

As her healing stomach muscles clenched in pain when she sat, Mia grinned. "I'm feeling pretty good." She assured her Commander.

"Good," Blake smiled. "Well, you know why you're here. You completed all your sessions with the counsellor, so now we just have to decide where your skills will be most useful..." He sifted through a handful of papers on his desk.

Mia didn't like this time wasting; she knew where she wanted to be. "Commander...I want my old job back." She said firmly. "I want to be out in the field."

Blake cast his eyes at his wounded agent and shook his head. "Rowan, considering-"

"Rork died." Mia said plainly; trying not to let the ache in her heart cease her voice. "And that sucks. But that doesn't mean that I can't do my job."

Sighing, Blake removed his eyeglasses and rubbed the space between the eyes. "I joined the force when I was 21." He said as he pulled out a handkerchief and started to clean his lenses. "My partner, Al, was a year older than me. He was like my brother." He smiled. "We fought side by side for twenty-five years on the front line. Few years back in Kosovo we were setting up refugee camp...Al stepped on a land mine." Blake slid his glasses back on and leant forwards on his desk, the effect of losing such a dear friend still obvious in the watering of his eyes. "After that I thought "Hell yeah, I can come back to this. That's what he'd want me to do. He wouldn't want me to give up my job just because he'd died." Blake noticed Mia's silence as she gulped; and he knew he was hitting the nail on the head. "So that's what I did; I went right back out on the frontline three months later."

Tilting her head to the side, Mia was curious how her Commander went from a field agent to working from behind the desk. He rarely went out into the field anymore. "How'd you end up here, then?"

"Every time we stepped out into a hot zone, I froze up. Kept thinking of Al...he took one wrong step and he was gone. That's all it takes. Wrong place, wrong time." He flexed his weathered fingers and clenched them into fists. "You might think you're okay, Rowan; but you're not." He leant his chin against his hands. "And you never will be. We train you with a partner so you'll work as a team. You have to develop a bond; you _have_ to care about each other. But when it goes wrong...boy, does it go wrong."

Mia leant back in her chair, ignoring the stabbing pain in her chest where the shrapnel had been removed. She realized very quickly what her Commander was trying to tell her. "You're not letting me go back out there, are you?" She almost whispered.

"No, Rowan, I'm not." He offered her a meaningful smile. "And it's not because I don't think you're capable; you're one of the most gifted agents I've ever trained. It's because I want you to be able to forgive yourself." He drew in a long breath and then let it out. "And as long as I keep you under my command, you won't be able to do that."

Mia felt like he'd just slapped her in the face. "You're firing me?"

"It's either that or stay here and work behind a desk; and you and I both know you'd go crazy doing that." He retrieved a business card from his pocket. "I have a brother in Alabama, David. He runs a private security business. I already called him; you'll far exceed anyone he has on his billing."

"What the hell is private security?" Mia asked, not even attempting to take the card.

"Private Investigators, bodyguards, that sort of thing. You'll be able to use what you've learned here." He waved the card at her. "The job is yours if you want it; all you have to do is make the call."

_Bodyguard? Someone with _my_ skills is going to be a bodyguard?_ Mia couldn't believe what she was hearing; it made zero sense. She had been First in all of her weaponry, surveillance, reconnaissance and field operations courses; someone with her record should be _using_ those skills to save lives; not monitor cheating spouses.

With a complacent sigh, Mia stared at the business card. She knew her Commander well enough to know he would not budge when he made a decision. She was out of SRF and that was that. If he wasn't so fond of her; he wouldn't be offering her this job. What was the alternative? Going back to Australia and moving in with Bree's perfect little family complete with a gorgeous baby girl? She wouldn't do that to her sister. Since their parents split up; Mia had become almost instantly independent. Taking this job was the right thing to do; even though it couldn't have felt more wrong.

Finally relenting, Mia took the card from her Commander, rose to her feet and walked back out into those familiar hallways, not wanting to believe it would be the last time she'd see them.

**xxx**

"This is it." Mia couldn't hide the glee from her face as she stumbled into the clearing where she, Charlie and Claire had run into Ethan. The path was covered in footprints running back and forth and the tree nearby had broken branches from when Claire had tried to run away.

"Great," Sawyer swung his arms out to his sides. "So, what now?"

"Ethan dragged a pregnant woman off into the jungle," Mia squatted below a patch of disturbed soil. "He couldn't have done that without leaving a trail. If I find it, I can follow it."

"He pretended he was one of us for over a week." Sawyer pointed out. "The guy's some sorta pro." Even though he had no idea how to track, Sawyer still tried to make himself useful by inspecting the area. "Why do you think he took just her?" He said a moment later, careful with how he phrased it. "Why'd he just take Claire?"

Mia had been wondering the same thing since she'd woken up at the caves. "It's gotta have something to do with her baby." She replied to Sawyer, going to tell him about the nightmares Claire had that Jack had dismissed as just that; nightmares. It would seem that maybe Claire was right all along. A flash struck through Mia's mind; Claire's face before Ethan had lunged at her. The fear..."She was so scared." Mia mumbled; staring at the ground. "I told her when we got back to the beach I'd show her a picture of Lara..." Mia smiled, forgetting for a moment where she was and who with. But her mention of Lara made her remember the photo and its location; and Sawyer was going to answer her this time. She turned to face him. "Why won't you give me the envelope?"

Sawyer scoffed. "I knew you'd ask me that sooner or later."

"Well? Why not?" Mia stood folded her arms across her chest. "What does it matter to you?"

Sawyer narrowed his eyes. "What does it matter to _you_?"

The boiling anger rose within her once again; he always had to act like this. "You promised me-"

"I promised you I'd sign those divorce papers when we landed in LA." He cut in sharply. "And we sure as hell ain't in LA, are we Mayday?" He kept a steely glare on her as he walked past her.

His eyes were so intensely angry; so furious. He was seething; and it shocked Mia that after all this time he still felt this much resentment towards her. "You really hate me, don't you?" She called after him; not expecting a reply.

Surprisingly; he did respond. First he stopped walking and slowly turned; his glare still very much intact. "No more than you hate me, Mia." He said through clenched teeth.

Mia exhaled in exasperation. It wasn't a good sign that she had to search for a response right now; it made the angst between them seem more juvenile than Mia realized. "You lied to me-"

"You lied to me!" Sawyer cried. "Hell, you lied to get me to Australia!"

Mia was stung. "I was trying to protect you!" She reminded him.

"Aw, save it, sweetheart, I've heard it." Sawyer snapped and swaggered back towards her. "Just part of what "the job" has done to you, huh? You just can't help yourself when you see someone in trouble; you just gotta rush in and save 'em the only way you can. Just like Claire, huh?"

Livid tears burned Mia's eyes. "You can be a real bastard, you know that?" Every bone in her body believed that; he knew just how to cut her deep and seemed to revel in her reaction.

Mere feet from each other, the estranger lovers stood there in a staring contest, each waiting for the other to flinch, to lunge, apologize or even just walk away. That's what they used to do; but apparently time apart had changed that aspect of their relationship, too.

"Here." Sawyer tossed the gun at her, smirking as she caught it expertly in one hand. "You need it more than I do." And with that he left. They were close enough to the beach they could still hear the waves; so he would get back to the beach soon enough.

He was still mad at her; that much was certain. Apparently two years didn't make up for what she had done; but it didn't excuse what he did either. Trouble was, they were both so stubborn neither one of them was going to be the first to give in. Sliding the gun, still warm from his grasp, into the waistband of her jeans, Mia set off to the North of the jungle alone.

**xxx**


	9. Coming Home

**Chapter 9: Coming Home**

_(1x14 - 1x15)_

As the sun set, Mia still hadn't found Ethan's trail. Every time she thought she did; it disappeared or just came to an abrupt halt. It seemed like someone had doubled back numerous times and created dummy trails; she could be out here for hours, even days, and not find anything.

The sound of heavy footsteps splashing in a puddle caught Mia's alert ears. She silently twisted her body to her left and held her gun at the ready. The footsteps were coming towards her; so she stayed motionless. Her eyes focused on the darkness ahead of her; waiting with bated breath. For all she knew; Claire might come stumbling towards her, however it could also be Ethan or whoever he was working with. Her heartbeat quickening, Mia rested her finger against the trigger as the shrubs just in front of her began to shudder. A second later, Locke and Boone came crashing through the foliage.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa!" Boone held up his hands when he spotted the gun. "It's us!"

Mia lowered her weapon as she laid eyes on the men. "What the hell are you two doing out here?" Her heart was still racing; she'd almost forgotten the excitement of holding a gun.

"Same as you," Locke replied. "Looking for Claire."

"I'm guessing you've had about as much luck as me." Mia grumbled as she slid her pistol into her waistband.

"Where'd you get the gun?" Locke inquired.

In the moonlight, Mia could make out the smile on his face, and it unnerved her. It was as though he was trying to sound nonchalant but hidden beneath his grin was a thread of suspicion that Mia immediately picked up on. "Sawyer." She replied; annoyed that she felt like she had to explain herself.

Boone, sweet as ever, didn't seem to pick up on the tension between Locke and Mia. "Well, you may as well stick with us." He offered. "We're all looking for Claire."

"Sounds like a good idea." Locke nodded. "Sure would feel more comfortable having the gun on our side."

Mia narrowed her eyes at him; he was so strange. Normally she could read people, especially suspicious ones, but Locke was like a whole different kind of person. It was as though he knew more about everything than anyone else, and Mia didn't like it. "Happy to." Mia directed her smile at Boone.

The three walked in silence for another half a mile or so when a rustling of trees caught their ears. Locke, being in the lead, held up his hand to cease Boone and Mia's footsteps. The three of them stood silent as the crushing of twigs and leaf litter approached them; but it didn't sound threatening to Mia; the footsteps were light and uneven, like someone was stumbling.

"Vincent?!" Boone called in a loud whisper. "Is that you?"

Mia raised her gun towards the sound of feet crunching against twigs and soft yet frantic breathing. The shine from the moon glinted off of something light and sandy in colour; it took Mia a moment to realize it was blonde hair. She stumbled into view a moment later, her hair damp and tangled with dirty smudged across her soft skin. "Claire?"

The terrified blonde laid eyes on Mia's gun and screamed, clutching her belly, and then fell to her knees. Locke was at her side and managed to clutch her thin shoulders before she fell forwards.

"She's breathing," Locke said as he heaved Claire up into his arms. "We have to get her to the caves."

**xxx**

Claire didn't remember them; she didn't remember anyone. The whole cave camp had gathered around her when Locke carried her in; but when she'd woken up she'd screamed, claiming she had no idea who any of them were. She was terrified of everyone.

It took some coaxing, but Charlie and Jack managed to get her to calm down and drink some water. It was while Claire was sitting by herself in a well lit corner of the caves that Mia timidly approached her.

"Hey, Claire," Mia smiled and knelt before her.

"Oh, hi," Claire folded her arms across her tummy and smiled nervously.

"I'm sorry if I scared you in the jungle," Mia apologized. "I was just looking for you. I was with you when you were taken."

"Did you...did you get away?"

"Not exactly. Ethan...drugged me and left me there in the jungle."

"Why'd he leave you? Why did he just take me?"

"I dunno." Mia smiled, keen not to remind Claire of her nightmares that someone was going to hurt her baby; it seemed like something that would be better kept a secret. "But at least you're safe now."

Claire smiled, a stronger smile than before. "So, we're friends?"

"Yeah, we're friends."

"Mia?" Jack called to her from beside the well.

"Try to get some rest," Mia rubbed Claire's shoulder. "I'll come see you in the morning."

"You're not staying?"

"Ah, no, no I still live at the beach..." She trailed off when she saw the confusion in Claire's eyes. "I'll explain it to you tomorrow." Mia chuckled and turned on her heel, passing Charlie on her way to Jack. "What's up?"

"Where'd you find her?" Jack jeered his head at Claire.

"Couple of miles from here." Mia replied. "Doesn't really make sense; she was closer to the beach than from where we were taken. If she broke out from wherever they were holding her; I would have found her or seen her trail." She glanced over at Claire who was thumbing through her diary that Charlie had given her. "It was like she popped up out of nowhere."

"Well, I don't think we'll be able to get a word out of her 'til she settles back in," Jack mused. "She's suffering from shock and possible post traumatic stress, might have caused some neurological damage to her brain...she's got a nasty bump on the head; hopefully she won't have any more exaggerated behaviours like Hypervigilance."

"Yeah, I make up words, too," She said with blank look.

Jack laughed. "It's an enhanced state of sensory sensitivity; she might perceive us all as threats and therefore close herself off to us and not tell us what happened." He changed his tone when he saw the flicker of worry across Mia's face. "But that's an extreme reaction. She already seems calm. The more we get her talking about what's been happening the more likely she'll remember."

Mia nodded and stifled a yawn, which made Jack chuckle. "You should sleep here."

"I could make it back to the beach with my eyes closed." Mia replied defensively; although her toughness wasn't helped by another yawn that took her over.

"Seems like that might actually happen," Jack called after her as she retreated from the caves.

Mia just waved at him over her shoulder and left the caves; running almost smack bang into Matt. "Oh, Christ, you scared me!" She clutched her chest.

"Bull; as if someone can scare you," Matt winked. "Is Claire awake?"

"Yeah, Charlie's with her." Mia nodded. "She's calmed down." She rubbed Matt's shoulder, he was protective of Claire and she understood why; she reminded him of his little sister, same with Mia. "Jack thinks she'll be okay."

"You heading back to the beach? Sure you don't wanna stay here? I could make place for you..."

"You sound like Jack," Mia whined. "I'll be fine, I'll come back tomorrow. G'night Matt." She walked passed him quickly so he wouldn't have time to convince her to stay.

At least Mia was right about how to get back to the beach, she really could do it with her eyes closed as she found out when she stumbled repeatedly through the dark towards the sounds of the ocean. She knew she was close when she could hear the soft murmurs of the camp on the wind. Her grip on her gun, which she was holding limply in her hand, loosened as she felt safer. That was until a crack of twigs made her jump and aim her gun sharply to the right.

"Easy there, Mayday!" Sawyer cried with his hands in the air.

"God," She breathed a sigh of relief and lowered the gun. "What the hell are you doing out here?"

"Taking a leak, if you must know," Sawyer smirked and zipped up his pants.

"Charming." Mia grimaced and pocketed her weapon.

"Thought you might have shacked up at Cavetown," He drawled, falling into step beside her as they broached their camp.

"Nope," Mia replied blankly. "We found Claire."

Sawyer stopped short, but then continued on when Mia didn't stop as well. "She ok?"

"She doesn't remember us being attacked." Mia admitted. "Says the last thing she _does_ remember is being on the plane." She pushed through the thinning trees and smiled as they arrived at their camp; she could see her tent now and it made her feel much more relaxed. Sawyer's digs were closer, so they passed them first.

"Here," Mia held out the weapon as he stopped out the front of his tent. "Thank you." She added tersely.

"Welcome." Sawyer replied, taking the pistol and slipping it into his waistband. "G'night, then..." He pulled back the tarp door of his tent and headed inside.

"I don't hate you." Mia admitted quietly, half hoping he hadn't heard her so she could just walk away; but he did and came back out. "I just...I've been mad at you for so long. It's hard to imagine thinking of you any other way."

Sawyer was prepping a sardonic remark; but the exhaustion on her face kept him quiet. "I don't hate you, either," He admitted with a wobbly smile.

"Goodnight, James," Mia said quietly as she backed away from his digs.

Sawyer watched her leave, waiting until she turned around before he replied, "Night, Amelia..." He whispered watching her disappear into the night.

**xxx**

_Pennsylvania - 2001_

Sawyer made his way into _Midia Thaii Tavern_ laying the charm on as much as he could. He could see her stacking glasses behind the bar as she prepared for the evening. He knew it would serve him well if he was able to talk to her before her shift started. As he'd been watching her for almost a month now, he noticed that she was more carefree in the hours before she had to deal with drunken men grabbing at her and shouting drink orders over the jukebox.

Three hundred thousand dollars; that's what she was worth. She'd wiped her ex-husband out clean; so much so that he'd killed himself just after the settlement. Sawyer figured she was keeping her job so as not to let anyone know how much she had waiting in the bank. It hadn't been easy to dig up; but he'd done it. Hell, he needed the money.

Only three months before had he been in jail and the money he made conning his way out of there he stashed away for his daughter. The daughter he'd never know because he never wanted her to see who her father truly was.

This con had to work. Sure, it had been awhile since he'd played the game, but it was just like riding a bike. And when he swaggered into that tavern that day; his mind clicked into gear. It was all business. This one was going to be fun, that much he knew. She was gorgeous; that always made things easier.

Sawyer slid into a bar stool beside a water feature with a handful of dimes and quarters in its basin. "This some sorta tip jar?" He fished around in his pocket and found a coin to toss in.

She spun around and smiled. "Yeh, but if you think you could put a goldfish in there and he wouldn't get sucked up into the mechanism; you'd be wrong."

Sawyer chuckled as he flicked the quarter into the basin. "Can I get a beer? Whatever's on tap."

"Sure," She grabbed a clean class and pulled on one of the taps. "Five bucks, thanks."

Sawyer slid the crisp note across the table and she slid back his drink. "Thanks." He took a long swig. "So," he smiled at her again. "This place is pretty empty."

"Yeah, well, it's a Wednesday." She flipped a tea-towel over her shoulder and started refilling peanut dishes. "Things don't really pick up mid-week."

"And here I thought Scranton, Pennsylvania was a hotspot on the map." Sawyer grinned.

"Obviously you haven't been here that long." She smiled warmly back at him.

She was flirting; that much was clear. And Sawyer was relieved to find out he didn't have to fake flirting back with her. She was one of the most beautiful women he'd ever conned. Medium height, toned, milky white skin and short auburn hair that curled slightly at her shoulders. When she smiled; her whole face lit up and it infected a smile onto Sawyer's lips as well. It was a lot easier conning someone he was attracted to.

"Well, then I guess it's up to me to keep you company," Sawyer lifted his beer to her. "I'm Sawyer."

"Mia." She replied.

"Nice to meet you, sweetheart." He winked at her and took another drink from his glass. She rolled her eyes, smiled and went back to work, stealing a look at him over her shoulder as she did so. _Yep_, Sawyer thought, _this one is gonna be a breeze..._

**xxx**


	10. Fire Away

*For those of you who want to know more about what happened to Matt, I suggest you read Bec's (Becimpala33) awesome fic "The Roads That Lead To Destiny Are Winding" for more details"*

**Chapter 10: Fire Away**

_(1x15-1x16)_

"Matt was shot?" Sawyer repeated to Mia as he stuffed water bottles in his backpack. "By who?"

"Kate...it was an accident." Mia sighed and ran a hand through her hair. The events of the last few hours played over in her head like a bad movie. Jack and Matt had been arguing and Matt had taken off fuming into the jungle, Mia and Kate had elected to go searching for him both armed with guns. All of them had been taken off guard by that _friggin_ monster; and Kate was so startled that the gun went off and shot Matt through his side. When Jack assured Mia he was okay, she'd come back to camp to change her clothes and run into Sawyer.

"That why you came a running back to the beach?" Sawyer asked.

"I came to change my clothes." She replied haughtily, glad her shirt and jeans stained with Matt's blood were now burning in a fire pit somewhere. "But Sayid told me a nice, little story about how a boar took your tarp?" A taunting smile played at her lips.

Sawyer angrily shoved some cigarettes into his pack and got to his feet. "Yeah, well, I'll have my own story to tell when I find and kill that piggy sonuvabitch."

"And you plan to find it, how, exactly?"

"You offerin' up your skills, there, Mayday?" Sawyer smirked at her.

Pursing her lips together, Mia considered this offer. It was either sit at the beach or the caves worrying about Claire's memory and Matt's life, or search the jungle and perhaps find a source of food for them all in the shape of a boar... although it wasn't the most humane idea; she was hungry and that boar was damn tasty when cooked right. "Fine." She agreed after a moment.

Sawyer had obviously not been expecting her to accept, because he'd already started towards the jungle. "What's that?"

"Gimme five minutes to pack my bag," She said. "I'm coming with you."

**xxx**

Once it hit sundown and they still hadn't found the boar, Mia practically had to force Sawyer to stop for the night. They were going to have to sleep in the jungle if they wanted to keep on searching the next day. Sawyer, who was still intent on finding the damn boar he was convinced had it in for him, begrudgingly gave up the search and helped Mia set up a makeshift camp in a small clearing. They got a fire going, ate some mangoes Sawyer had brought along, and then he pulled out a little after dinner treat.

"You want?" He smirked and waved two mini-bottles of vodka

"Where'd you get those?"

"Swiped 'em from the fuselage before we burned it."

"Gimme." Mia held out her hand, suddenly desperate for some of that sweet tasting alcohol.

"Uh-uh," Sawyer smirked and pulled his hand back. "You want some; you gotta play."

"Play what?"

"I Never."

"Are you serious?" Mia raised her eyebrows as a smile played on her lips. "No way."

"How come?"

"Because we're not teenagers." She shrugged, keenly ignoring the fact that nor were they teenagers when they'd played this game on their first date.

"Never stopped us before," Sawyer held a lingering looked with her, knowing at that moment they were remembering the exact same moment. "I'll start."

Mia sighed. "Fine." She caught the small bottle Sawyer tossed at her.

"I never kissed a man," He smiled broadly. "Now you drink, 'cos you've kissed a man."

_Of course he'd pick an easy one_, Mia thought as she unscrewed the top of her bottle and took a swig. "You know, grammatically, it should be called _I've Never_..."

"Just ask," Sawyer cut in.

Mia chortled. "Ok, ok...I Never...I never been married..." She raised her eyebrows at him, he smirked and both of them took a little drink.

"I never worked a bar," He gave a wry grin at that.

Mia took another sip. "Stop asking questions you already know the answers to..." She scolded him. "I never won the lottery..."

Neither of them drank.

"I never got a tattoo..." He sent her a flirtatious look; he knew exactly where hers was.

Mia rolled her eyes and turned away while she took a sip from her mini-bottle. "I never blamed a boar for all my problems." She said knowingly, and took it as a slight victory when he took a drink.

Sawyer wiped his mouth and took a few moments before he continued the game. "I never followed my ex into the jungle because I was just looking for an escape..."

A nervous twinge was growing in Mia's stomach; but she followed the rules and took a drink. If he was going to go deep with this, then so was she. "I never lied about wanting to go hunting a boar when I just wanted to spend time with the one person on this island...who actually understands me..." She was sure he'd lie; sure he'd just keep that drink hanging between his fingers; but he didn't. He slowly lifted the bottle to his lips, making sure he didn't break eye contact with her, and took another swig from the miniature bottle. If he was going to be honest; she was, too.

Mia followed suit and drank down some more vodka. Something changed in Sawyer after that; he'd always hated being too honest, almost as if it made him weaker. And there was usually a price to be paid for making him feel that way. Turned out; Mia was right.

A dark glare crossed Sawyer's eyes. "I never lied to get someone to move to Australia..." he drawled.

Mia didn't drink, even though by rule of the game she should have. "That's low, James." She whispered.

He just shrugged. "It's the truth, ain't it?"

Mia swallowed down the last of her drink, tossed the empty bottle at Sawyer's feet and got up off the ground. "I always do this," She muttered as she gathered up her stuff. "I always think somewhere inside you're a good man," She shouldered her bag. "And then you do that." She stormed off into the jungle.

"Where you goin?!"

"Back to camp," She spat over her shoulder. "Find the damn boar, yourself."

**xxx**

_November 2000_

Her new job was boring; Mia knew that within the first five minutes. It had the potential to be exciting, but that would only happen whenever her boss, David, saw it fit to give her an actual case rather than doing follow up work for the more experienced agents at the bureau. Simply titled _Cristal_; they worked in the business of tracking elite members of society who earned their millions by less than notable means. All of their business was conducted under the table, off the radar from the police and most branches of the government. The sector of SRF where Mia had been recruited was one of the few military operations that were aware of Cristal's existence.

It all sounded exciting; and the real action probably was, but six months in and Mia was yet to see it. Her injuries from the attack that killed Rork were completely healed now; she saw no reason to still be sitting at a desk. Of course; she'd been saying that since the day she'd arrived. Nevertheless, she was marching into her boss's office that day to demand a better job; or rather, an _actual_ job.

"David?" She knocked twice on his open office door.

"Oh, yes," He said. "Mia, please come in. What is it you wanted to speak to me about?" David took a seat behind his desk; he was a good boss; just like his brother. He listened to his employees, but he was definitely the man in charge. In his late fifties and with a stellar record in the military; he could have retired, but instead he'd taken over Cristal and loved every minute of it.

"Well, to be honest, I want better cases." Mia saw no point in wasting time.

David chuckled and ran a hand through his greying brown hair. "Yes, my brother warned me you'd ask eventually."

"I've been here almost six months now and the most interesting thing I've done is security for a government party."

David watched her for a moment, contemplating. "I know your background; so I know how dangerous you can be."

Mia gave him a wry smile. "What, are you afraid I'll snap?" She teased.

Dave laughed. "It's just a precaution."

Mia smiled, but then went right back into business mode. "You told me new recruits were given three months to "ease into the job"," She reminded him. "And it's been _six_ months. Give me something good, Dave. Please."

Sighing, David gave in. She was definitely too qualified to just sit at a desk; he may as well use her talents for something worthy. "Okay. I do actually have something you might be interested in." He sifted through a stack of files on his desk and pulled out a Manilla folder. "Yeh, her name is Eve Anderson..."

"Lemme guess, her husband's cheating and I have to catch him out?" She'd learned within her first week that the 'cheating spouse' case was usually the first for rookies.

"Not exactly." He handed the folder to Mia. "Eve was the one who was cheating."

Mia crinkled her brow and flipped through the folder. She saw bank account details, checks, statements and an invoice for a wire transfer for almost half a million dollars. "What is all this?" She muttered.

"This case is very unique," David told her as he got up and shut his door, keeping their conversation private. "And thus it has to be kept very low key, even more so than we usually are. This will be between you, me and your partner. No one else."

Her interest piqued, Mia sat up a little straighter. This was the kind of excitement she was looking for. "My partner?"

"Yes," David went to his file cabinet and grabbed a folder from one of the back sleeves. "On loan to us from the marines," He clucked his tongue and flipped through a few pages. "He's dangerous; but no more so than you. I think you'll work well together. He's already been briefed on the case." There was a sharp knock at the door.

"Oh, here he is, come in, Martin." David called out.

Mia swivelled in her chair and saw a giant of a man enter the room. He was well over six feet tall, possibly in his late twenties but his body bore the scars of wounds that made him appear older. His dark brown hair was very short, military specific, and had piercing dark eyes that appeared as though they were sinister at all times.

"Martin Keamy, this is Amelia Rowan," David introduced them.

"Pleasure." He held his hand out to her and gave it a firm shake. "Last partner you had was killed, right?" His thin lips pulled into an almost boastful smile as he shut the door behind him.

"Huh," Mia scoffed and retracted her hand. "You're an asshole; great." She went back to Eve's file.

"I knew you'd get along," David said sarcastically. "Sit down, Martin. Why don't you inform Agent Rowan of the case?

"Eve fell in love with a man who took her life savings," Keamy recited. "And she wants revenge. She wants us to find him and bring him in. She can't call the police or she'll be arrested." He smiled when he saw Mia's confusion. "See, she claims the original plan was for her and this man to take the money and run off together."

Mia nodded along. "He took the money; left her behind to pick up the pieces."

Keamy smirked. "Exactly. So, we have to catch him committing the same crime again for her to get any kind of justice."

"And how do we do that?" Mia addressed her superior.

"You are gonna go undercover." David told her. "We'll spend some time creating a cover story; make you a jilted ex-wife."

Mia cocked her head to the side. "But, even if I manage to do that, I'll be in the same situation. If I participate in the con; I'll be arrested just like him. The cops won't be on our side in an operation like this."

"No, they never are." David agreed. "But don't worry about that; it's not going to go that far. You're going to call the guy on it." He smirked. "Tell him you know he's conning you; and then convince him to show you how to do it. Make him teach you everything you need to know; show you how he does it all. And once we have that information; he'll play right into our hands."

Mia grinned. If she could obtain all that Intel; this guy would go to jail for life off his own stupidity at divulging his secrets. Flipping through the folder once more, Mia realized one vital fact was missing. "So, what's this guy's name?"

Keamy gave her a loose shrug of his broad shoulders. "Eve said she only knew him by Sawyer."

**xxx**

"Mia?" Jack called to her as he saw her trundling through the path ahead of him. He'd been on his way to the caves when he spotted her; but she didn't seem to hear him. "Mia?!" he called louder and jogged up behind her. "Hey," He reached for her elbow but the jerked it away. "What's wrong?" He narrowed his eyes at her. "What happened?"

"Nothing, I'm just...anxious to get back to Matt..." She lied.

"Well, you're going the wrong way..." Jack told her, knowing that she wasn't being truthful. "Kate said you went with Sawyer to find some boar?"

Mia scoffed a little but kept walking. "Yeah... I should know better than to help him..." She shook her head back and forth. "Maybe I really do hate him..."

"You don't hate him," Jack tried to soothe her. "He's just a jackass. And I'd have thought you'd know that better than anyone."

"No, I hate him," Mia spat through gritted teeth, recalling their stupid game, she started to pace back and forth with her fists clenched so tight she could feel her nails digging into her palms. "How could he do this?"

Jack tilted his head to the side. "Do what?"

Mia tried to take some calming breaths, but they seemed to just fuel her anger. "It's his fault I'm here!" She threw her arms out to the jungle. "Why did I say I'd come with him?" Angry tears jumped in her eyes. "I'm not supposed to be here! I let him talk me into getting on that plane!"

"Mia, it's ok," Jack clasped her shoulders to cease her flailing arms. "It's gonna be okay."

"No it's not!" She bellowed. "Matt's dying! We're stuck here! No one's coming for us!"

"Matt is not going to die," Jack assured her with a firm shake of her shoulders. "And we are going to be fine."

"I can't do this!" Mia cried, letting the frustrated tears spill from her eyes. "I can't be here! It's too much, Jack!"

Wiping a tear from her eye, Jack pulled her closer to him as she struggled to get away. "Mia; I promise. Everything will be okay."

Mia drew in deep, rasping breaths trying to calm herself down. She could feel Jack's warm palm against her cheek and pressed her skin against him. He was so selflessly kind to her. So unlike the man she was angry with, Jack reminded her so much of Rork. God, she missed him. Barely taking a second to think about what she was doing, Mia took Jack's face in her hands and pulled his mouth onto hers. It was passionate, but not a kiss of passion. It was loving, but not a kiss of love. What it was, was comfort; something both Mia and Jack had been lacking since they'd crashed, and something they both found in that moment with each other.

**xxx**


	11. The Right Direction

**Chapter 11: The Right Direction  
**

_(1x17-1x19)_

After Mia broke off her kiss with Jack; she just retreated into the folds of the jungle and let her feet take her wherever they wanted. She was in her thirties, dammit. When did this whole adult thing kick in exactly?

In her stumbling; she found a companion in Kate who was picking fruit off a tree nearby. The brunette fell effortlessly to the ground of a low branch solidly onto her feet. As she stuffed some apples into her pack; the greeting smile on her face vanished once she saw Mia's expression. "What's wrong?"

"I kissed Jack." Mia blurted out.

"What?

"I dunno why... I just..." Mia couldn't keep her breathing in check; she was quite sure she was hyperventilating. Her fists were balled tightly at her sides as she started pacing; desperate for somewhere to go but knowing she was stuck.

"What's wrong?" Kate kept her distance; something seemed very off about her friend at that moment.

"I can't be here, Kate, I can't!" Mia suddenly yelled. "I can't be on this island; I don't belong here!"

Kate shrugged off her pack and cautiously took a step forward. "It's ok; it's going to be okay."

Mia almost laughed. Jack had said the same thing right before she'd kissed him. "I wanna go home, Kate..." She whined and started to sob; she sounded like a child and she knew it; a sobbing child, pouting for not getting their own way. Searching for someone to blame... Sawyer... Jack... hell, she could probably find a way to blame Kate if she wanted to. But this feeling? This overwhelming sense of discomfort was within her and it was something Mia had been tussling with ever since that day, that dark unforgettable day, in Albania...

"I don't have a lot of girlfriends." Mia suddenly spoke up to Kate, who had relented in her defensive stance and was now at her side. "Just my sister and my niece, I guess." She sniffled. "My best friend, Joey... he was my partner in the army...really funny guy." She smiled as she thought of him. "Always made me laugh."

"What happened?"

Drawing in a deep breath, Mia prepared to tell Kate what only her comrades, her sister and Sawyer knew. "When I was in the Forces," She wasn't sure if Kate knew about her military past; but regardless she was about to get a deep look into what it was like. "We were in this pretty abandoned town just outside of Albania," She began. "We'd had no Intel on the place for a week. No gunfire, no sign of danger at all. We had agents all over that place searching for a trap or something; but it came up clean." Mia leant against a solid tree trunk for support, suddenly feeling weary. "We were there to save this journalist...it was Joey's five year anniversary on the job so I let him take the lead for once," She smiled wistfully at the memory. "...I didn't see the shooter..."

**xxx**

_Albania – April 1999_

The effects of the 1997 Albanian Civil War could still be seen in the faces of the civilians that would dart their eyes furtively around in crowds or quickly cross the street if they saw something or someone suspicious. Mia definitely felt the tension and had since she and Rork had arrived two days before. Though the unrest had diminished greatly since the protests and demonstrations of two years before, there were vague homage's to the horrors that had happened there like crosses displaying names of the dead and spray painted insults about the government on dilapidated buildings.

They were here for one reason only; Keira Montgomery. She was an American Journalist who had been kidnapped by a rogue group of soldiers who were threatening her life if they were not all cleared of criminal charges that had been laid against them. Although Rork was also looking for a celebration; it was his five year anniversary with the SRF this month and in honour of that, he convinced Mia to let him take the lead.

This mission was different than most of their previous ones had been; they weren't in their army greens, but instead were dressed as civilians. Their weapons were concealed in the sides of their boots and in the waistbands of their jeans. They had kept themselves off the street for those two days since their arrival to make sure they had not been discovered. With the ransom now out on Keira; the rogue group (whom Mia and Rork had nicknamed The Riot) would be waiting for someone to come storming in and get her out.

Commander Blake was in Albania as well as a couple of other agents, they had been steadily increasing their numbers for a month now, not wanting to alert anyone who might be keeping watch on incoming international visitors. They were all scheduled to meet at the rendezvous point at 1600 hours.

Mia and Rork left their hotel room twenty minutes before they were due to arrive. They assumed their roles as a couple on a honeymoon, a role that Rork thoroughly enjoyed.

"You know, M.I.A?" He liked pronouncing her name phonetically by its initials, _Em-i-ayy_. "I think this just might be the mission where you fall for me." He grinned like a dork as he threaded his fingers within hers.

Mia rolled her eyes. "You sound like a broken record."

"A record you wanna play, right?"

Mia couldn't contain her grin and nudged him in the solar plexus.

"Ow," He rubbed his stomach. "Now, that's not love. We need to be in love, remember?"

"The briefing said "couple"," Mia reminded him. "It did not say "love"."

"Stupid, military red tape." Rork pouted and slung his arm over her shoulder.

Truth was, if they didn't work together, Mia probably would consider being with him. He made her laugh but also let her take control. He was gorgeous, with his jet black hair and muscled physique; he looked like a real life Action Man when he was in uniform. And he knew all about her job. He ticked all the right boxes. Other than the fact that he was her partner and fraternizing within ranks was a big no-no.

Still cuddling, the pair headed down the side street to their meeting point with the other agents.

The gunshot was so loud Mia was positive it had hit her. It came from above; from a sniper hidden in one of the windowsills. Ducking, Mia swiftly removed her pistol from her ankle holster as she backed away for cover under the pillar nearby. It was only when she was shielded that she noticed Rork was not at her side.

Her alert eyes drifted to the centre of the street, where she saw Rork clutching his neck, his handsome face paling as blood sprayed down his chest, and she realized the bullet had hit him.

"Joey!" Mia bellowed as gunfire from both sides started spraying up ahead of her. She could hear Commander Blake bellowing orders from up ahead, all the SRF agents coming out of hiding, but Mia's eyes never left her partner. "RORK!" He looked over at her, his eyes bright with horror as he fell to his knees.

"Retreat!" Commander Blake ordered as he and two other agents reached Mia's position. They clearly had underestimated The Riot; they seemed to be firing from the rooves of every building. If they didn't get out now; they were just sitting ducks.

But Mia refused to leave. "No!"

"Rowan, get back!" Blake snatched up her arm, hiding his breaking heart for the fallen Agent Rork, and dragged her behind him as he and his other agents retreated amidst the screams of terrified civilians darting for cover in the busy street.

"No, I won't leave him there!" Mia struggled out of Blake's arms.

"Rowan!" Blake screamed as he lost his grip on her. "_MIA_!"

"_Rorrrk!!!_" Mia roared his name, her feet pounding the dirt path so hard she caused a dust storm behind her. Skidding to a halt beside her partner, she scooped him up underneath his arms and dragged him behind the pillar she'd used as protection. "Joey?" She pulled his head up onto her lap cradling his neck in the crook of her arm. Tears pricked in her eyes when she saw his injury; it had clipped an artery in his neck. Blood was spilling from the wound like water down a stream. No exit wound; he was lucky not to have died on the spot; but there was no way to staunch the bleeding.

With an icy shiver, Mia realized her best friend was going to die right here in her arms.

"I kn-knew you'd fa-fall for me..." Rork grinned, struggling to keep his eyes open.

"I'm sorry." Mia whispered as a thick tear slipped down her cheek.

"Part o-of the j-job." He stammered, his face suddenly free of pain as a calm seemed to wash over him. "At least we're together now."

Mia smiled through her aching tears. "You're an ass."

"Yes, I am." He laughed, but was overcome with a coughing fit that included him spitting up blood.

Mia lifted his head up higher. "It's ok, you'll be ok, I promise."

Joey stared up into her beautiful green eyes. "Liar..." He whispered with the faintest of smiles playing at his lips.

"I can't do this without you, Rork..." Mia admitted as she heard a particularly loud explosion very close to them; the shock made the pillar they were hiding behind shudder violently. "I don't know how."

"Yeah, you do." Rork assured her as he lifted a shaking hand up to her face and tucked her hair behind her ear. "You taught me." He pressed his palm against her warm cheek and smiled contentedly when she leant her temple against his brow.

Mia let out a raw sob. "Please...please don't..." She smoothed his charcoal hair off his face, ignoring the warmth of his blood pooling beneath her, and leant her forehead down against his. "Don't leave me."

"I've never left you before, M.I.A," He closed his heavy eyelids. "Not gonna start now..."

"Joey," Mia shook him a little to keep him awake. "Joey! Don't you do this!" She pressed a kiss against his forehead as her sobs overcame her. "God, please don't go," She wheezed painful breaths through gritted teeth, clinging to his body like a life raft. "You bastard, don't you leave me here."

"ROWAN; _FALL BACK!!!"_

Mia didn't even see Commander Blake before her ears were pierced with the loudest bang she had ever heard. She gripped Rork's lifeless body to her and ducked as deep against the wall as she could. The building she was hiding under was vibrating ferociously and Mia knew it was going to collapse; but she didn't care. How could she care? Her job was her life; but her job didn't work without Rork.

She clasped his body to hers as the building cascaded down right on top of them, burying them both under a pile of cement blocks and splintered timber. Mia knew she was in severe agony, but only for a few moments. Joey was still warm in her arms when she let the pain overtake her.

In that moment, she made a wish. She hadn't made one since she was a child; she hadn't needed to. But now, she did feel it was her only option. Squeezing her eyes tightly shut, Mia wished herself to die right here, along with her partner, because she didn't want to live without him fighting right beside her.

**xxx**

"I woke up in hospital six weeks later." Mia finished up her memory as Kate listened with wide, watery eyes. "Both my legs were broken; I shattered most of my ribs, got a metal plate in my shoulder and cracked my skull in three places." Mia drew in a deep breath; thankful the story was easier to tell nowadays. "Also got a handful of scars that'll never go away."

Kate winced as she tightened her grip around her knees. "Oh God..."

"I can talk about it now without falling apart but still... it's a ...gap that doesn't go away." She let out a deep breath.

"I know the feeling," Kate smiled a pitiful grin that said much more than her words.

Mia echoed her smile. "I was cut loose from the Forces as soon as I recovered..." She continued. "My Commander... he didn't think I was up to getting back out in the field..." She looked down at her hands. "I should have gone first."

"What?"

"The mission. I should have taken the lead." She tucked her knees up under her chin. "I knew something would go wrong; I had a bad feeling the second I said yes to him. If I had just gone with it, we wouldn't have been walking down _that_ street. We'd have been in a crowd and taken an alley. We would have come up behind the sniper. They never would have got a shot at him." She covered her face with her hands; preventing Kate from seeing more tears stream down her face.

"It's not your fault he-"

"Yes, it is. I was the superior. And because I cared about him – because I let my feelings for him get in the way - I let him talk me into it. And it got him killed." She exhaled and rested her head back against the tree trunk. "That's when I decided..." She frowned and shook her head. "Never again. Never again will I let someone else tell me where I should or should not be."

Kate narrowed her eyes. "What exactly are you saying, Mia?"

"I'm going on that raft, Kate. I dunno if Michael wants me there; but I'll figure out a way to get on it."

"Why?"

"Because that's where I'm supposed to be." She smiled sadly. "You? You're meant to be here."

"I hate it here." Kate countered.

"You're free here, Kate." Mia pointed out with a wry grin. "You go back home, someone's gonna be waiting with questions and handcuffs. But here? You're a hero," She grinned. "And a damn good one."

Smiling awkwardly, "Well, Sawyer thinks the raft is full," Kate pointed out.

"Sawyer thinks I took up horse riding just for the exercise." She grinned mischievously.

Kate let out a carefree laugh and got to her feet; the ease of Mia's joke a silent signal that their conversation was over and they could continue on. "I'm heading back to the beach," She slipped her bag back on. "Wanna come?"

"Absolutely." Mia grinned, falling into step beside her friend as they headed along the trail.

There was a great weight off Mia's shoulders now, she could feel that. Admitting to Kate about what had happened was freeing... or maybe it was the resolve to get on that raft; to leave this place. Hell; it might completely fall to pieces when they got out on open water; but at least she'd followed her instincts. And that was the reason Mia felt so at ease; her intuition was her greatest weapon, and now it would be her way off of this island.

**xxx**


	12. That Which We Don't Forget

**Chapter 12: That Which We Don't Forget**

_(1x20-1x21)_

The following morning, Mia found her way to that dark corner of the beach that never seemed to be inhabited by anyone, she sat there as the sun set and cried. Not sad tears; far from it. The night before Claire had given birth, and Mia had been there. The shit was really hitting the metaphorical fan on this island; Boone had been shot. Kate and Mia were delivering water to the caves when they saw Locke bring him in, and on the way to deliver medical supplies to Jack, Kate had stumbled upon Claire. Mia and Jin had heard Kate's cries for help but since Boone was in worse shape than Jack, the doctor sent Charlie back to tell Mia and Kate that they were going to have to somehow deliver Claire's baby.

Mia was a soldier, not a doctor, but even she wasn't prepared for the physical and emotional turmoil that came with a birth. She'd been there with her sister when she'd delivered Lara, but this was different. Mia wasn't just a 'supporter', she was right in the thick of it.

It was a boy; a gorgeously beautiful baby boy. Kate was the one who delivered him, handing him to Mia to wrap in an old flannel shirt who then passed him on to his sobbing mother. Claire was weeping elated tears as she cradled her son¸ as were Kate and Mia who embraced just after the birth as if the baby was their own accomplishment.

Now, with Claire and the baby back safe at the beach camp with Charlie protectively watching over them, Mia took the break and found herself in that spot on the beach crying those elated tears.

"Mia?" A familiar; friendly voice called to her.

Turning, Mia recognized Matt emerging from the ocean. She'd been so focused on her tears she hadn't seen him swimming there. "Oh, hey,"

"Are you okay?"

"Yeah, fine." Mia assured him. "Claire had the baby." She grinned. "A boy."

Matt's face broke into a wide grin. "And they're okay?"

Mia nodded. "They're fine. I think Jack's checking on them now."

"Oh..." He picked up his shirt and shook off his wet hair. "I think I'll go check on them." He smiled. "Care to join me?"

"No, thanks, I'm fine here, really." Mia smiled at him. "Go ahead." Still smiling, she watched him wander off down the beach and then let her eyes drift back out to the ocean. It was so calm this morning; peaceful...

"Hey..." Kate came out of the jungle and herself sat down in the sand beside her. "You good?"

"Yeah," Mia smiled and wiped those happy tears from her eyes. "How's Boone?" Kate faltered before she spoke, the pause not going unnoticed by Mia. "What?"

"He died." Kate told her.

Mia let her head loll back and exhaled deeply as she stared at the sky. "Dammit." She mumbled. "Oh, God..."

Kate sniffled beside her. "Yeah... sorta poetic, right? Boone dies... the baby's born..."

"I don't think I'd like my birthday to be associated with a death..." Mia grumbled cradling her suddenly aching head in her hands.

"You still going on the raft?" Kate asked as she stared down the beach to where Michael was hammering something into his raft-like creation.

"Yeah, if Michael agrees..." Mia muttered.

"Why don't you just lie?" Kate asked suddenly. "If you want out of here... lie."

"I don't lie anymore." Mia replied with a half-smile.

Kate suppressed a laugh. "That's a crock. You lied about being a soldier; you lied about marrying Sawyer..."

"Fine, I _try_ not to lie." Mia amended her statement. "I do lie about my old life sometimes. See, when my parents stopped slapping the crap out of each other and finally split up? I met Sawyer... it's so funny; everyone thought he was this fine, young gentleman... but I saw something different in him. Something... crooked." She nodded in affirmation. "I liked it. He was funny, sexy, wild... he made me feel safe... protected..." She sighed, more tears coming over her but, this time, they weren't happy. They were the essence of tears; heartache. "But he couldn't protect me from himself."

"So why the embargo on lying?"

"I don't like people thinking I'm weak." Mia admitted painfully. "And when they see Sawyer and how he acts? How messed up am I that I let myself fall in love with somebody like that?"

"You can't help who you love." Kate said wisely. "Good or bad."

"Kate? Mia?" Matt was back; looking grave with watery eyes. He'd obviously heard the news about Boone. "The, uh, the funeral's going to start soon, so..."

"Thanks, Matt," Kate smiled at him. "We'll be right there."

Taking the hint that they two weren't ready to break up their girl-chat, Matt exited back down the beach the way he'd come. Kate and Mia sat on the beach for a few more minutes, then collected themselves and headed for the memoiral; both slightly amused by the fact they were stuffing all their emotions back inside on their way to a funeral. Odd, but Mia liked it for what it was worth.

**xxx**

_Pennsylvania – December 2000_

Mia lowered her binoculars and let out a sigh. It was pointless using them; everyone was in her immediate vision and walking so slow she got a good view of them anyway. Resting her elbow against the open window, she gritted her teeth at the incessant sound of chewing coming from the seat beside her. "You gotta chew so loud?" Mia complained. The sound of Keamy chomping his teeth up and down on that friggin gum was making her insane.

"Want some?" He held the piece he was chewing between his teeth and grinned at her.

"You're a pig." Mia blanched and took another sip of coffee.

Keamy just laughed and continued to chew noisily. "Not nice to name call on our first case together."

"Yeah, well, you'd think after almost a month tailing this guy you'd become bearable." She muttered sardonically as she gazed back out to the crowd looking for James Ford, again. This was the fourth week they'd been in this street noting his moves. "Sadly, no."

"There he is." Keamy let out a low whistle as he spotted Sawyer, and made a note on his timesheet. "Damn this guy is making it too easy on us...alright, so he comes to the _Midia Thaii Tavern _twice a week; not ashamed about being seen..."

"He's a conman, they're cocky bastards." Mia pointed out. "He's coming off a big hit; he's full of himself."

"Bodes well for us, nailing you should be a cake walk." She gave him a look of pure disdain. "It's an expression."

"So is 'I could cut your balls off'." Mia quipped.

"Listen, Miss _Halliwell_." He smirked as he used her alibi. "You're gonna have to trust me if you wanna get this guy."

"I do trust you," Mia answered, her expression unchanged. "I just don't like you."

Keamy checked his watch. "It's three, go into the _Midia Thaii_ and ask for Ronnie-"

"He'll set me up with the bartender gig and the alias." She gave him a patronizing smile. "Yes, I know Martin; I was in the debriefing, too."

"Alright then Amelia Jane Halliwell," He smirked as he used her full alias. "Go do your thing."

Mia flipped him off as she got out of the car and jogged across the street into the bar; Keamy shamelessly checked her out as she jaywalked. She just the kind of girl he hated to love; sexy with too much emotional baggage, usually good for some angry sex but definitely no long term prospects. Hell; what did he care? This was a maximum eight month mission and he was getting good money. He'd just make his crude remarks and stare at her ass when she wasn't looking; if that happened to lead to hateful sex that was fine with him. Of course, with army chicks, he did run the risk of getting some very nasty and intricate retaliation if he screwed her over.

Might be best to steer clear of this one.

**xxx**

After the funeral; the crowd separated and each took to their own regions of the beach to cope with the grief in whatever way seemed fit. For Mia, it was digging out one of the last bottles of vodka she had in her pack and downing it as though it were water.

"What in the Hell do you think you're doing?" Sawyer was behind her, yelling, all of a sudden.

"They never put enough in these things." She tossed the empty miniature bottle aside.

Sawyer's spiteful expression didn't change. "You ain't getting on that boat, Mayday, so don't even try it."

Mia smirked and folded her arms across her chest. "And _when_ did you start telling me what to do exactly?"

"This ain't about that." Sawyer growled. "It ain't about anything; you're not coming and that's that."

Mia jut out her hip and clucked her tongue. "You know, this might surprise you Sawyer, but not everything I do revolves around you." She raised her eyebrows. "See, I actually have people waiting for me back home. What do you have, huh?" Her heart fluttered in elation when he didn't have a retort for her. "The only reason you're leaving is because you've got no place else to go."

"I'm getting on that raft, James."

Sawyer's sneer didn't change. "Well...then I guess I'll have something after all." He held an angered stare with her as he dodged passed her and stormed for his tent.

Angry bastard or not, Sawyer brought up a good point: she hadn't actually asked Michael if he would take her aboard. So with the vodka sending adrenaline and strength through her veins, she heaved herself up the beach to talk to him.

"I want to come with you," She asked immediately when she saw him tying rope to his gigantic raft. It actually _looked_ like a boat now. "On the raft."

"Really?" Michael tossed some rope to Jin, who was hammering tarp down, and jumped to the sand. "Seemed like you were settling in..."

"I don't belong on this island, Michael... none of us do. Maybe Locke, but that's it." Mia handed him a water bottle that he was reaching for. "And I'd rather be at the helm here with you guys then waiting any longer on this island."

Michael sighed. "Sawyer bought his way on already..."

Mia chewed her lip. "I know. He doesn't want me coming."

"So you're doing this to spite him?"

"Wanting on the raft has nothing to do with Sawyer." Mia asserted herself. "I have a sister and a niece I need to get back to and your raft is the way to do it."

"Like I said, Sawyer _bought_ his way onto this raft. Jin and I are building it and Walt's my boy... so," He raised his eyebrows to her. "What are you bringing to the party?"

"I was in the military." She replied. "Part of my training involved six months with the marines; I also worked with a pretty tough marine in my time. If we get into trouble on the water; I'm an assest."

"What kinda trouble?"

"Who knows? We don't know where we are or, if we do run into another boat, if they'll be hostile or not." She paused for an overly dramatic second. "You might need me for protection."

"You're talking about a gun, huh?"

"I'm good with one." Mia beamed.

Michael gave a wry grin. "I don't doubt that...but I don't want one around my boy."

"If we run into trouble, how will you protect Walt?" It was low playing the kid-card, she knew that. But desperate times...

"Fine...fine..." Michael relented. "Pack light. One bag."

Mia could've kissed him. "Thank you."

**xxx**


	13. Before It's Too Late

*This chapter contains my lovely friend Bec's (Becimpala33) OC Matt, I recommend you read her fic which further explains Jordan, who belongs to Jackie! :)*

**Chapter 13: Before It's Too Late**

_(1x21-1x22)_

With the turning tide, the beach camp had moved further up the coast and closer into the trees. It just made more sense, especially with the rain coming a little more frequently than they would like; their tarps were hammered enough as it was. So in the days just passed, everyone gathered up their luggage and whatever would be of use from the wreck and headed up the beach. Now their camp resembled a shanty town. Mia liked her little nook; she had a piece of the plane as a wall, and two tarps, one as a roof and one as a door. It didn't do much to keep out the wind or cold; but it kept her dry.

Right now, Mia didn't much care for anything. Something was wrong at the camp. Very wrong. And it had something to do with Locke.

For starters, Jack had lied. Boone wasn't shot like he'd told her. Locke admitted to the whole camp that he and Boone had discovered a canopy with a plane, a Beech craft, lodged in it with a radio inside. Boone had climbed up to check it out and it had fallen.

As furious as Mia was with Jack for his lie, she found it hard to stay mad at him since he collapsed soon after Locke returned. He was exhausted and it was getting to him. It took Mia almost ten minutes to get him to sit down

"Why'd you lie to me, Jack?" Mia asked as she dampened a rag in some cool water. "Why did you tell me he was shot?"

"I'm sorry." Jack panted. "I didn't want to worry you. He was out with Locke... he fell. His leg was crushed. I based my treatment on that lie."

"It's not your fault, Jack," Mia assured him. "You tried to save him."

"I should have told you the truth."

"Yes, you should have." She slapped the rag against his forehead, realizing he was quite warm. "But I know why you didn't."

Jack suddenly grabbed her wrist. "Locke's hiding something. Boone said something about a hatch... he's hiding something."

"Ok," Mia said firmly. "Ok, I'll see what I can find out, just rest ok?"

"No, I can't rest-"

"Jack?" Kate called as she approached them. "I made you some juice..."

Mia rose and let Kate have her seat. "I'll be back later." The sharp wail of an infant caught Mia's ear as she walked. Charlie had set up Claire's tent for her a few metres down from Mia and bunked beside her. Locke had sculpted Claire a cradle from bamboo which wasn't getting a lot of use at the moment, Claire wouldn't put her baby down.

Charlie crossed Mia's path. "Mia, can you help with Claire? She hasn't slept since the baby was born."

"I'm not really good with babies..." She glanced to Claire and couldn't help but picture Bree with Lara when she was that age – had she been that small? – she hadn't known what to do then either... "Ok," She agreed. "I'll try."

"Look, I'm fine, ok?" Claire tried to assure them as she rocked her baby boy in her arms.

"You need rest." Charlie pressed as he and Mia knelt down before her.

"If you were in a hospital; they'd take your baby so you could get some rest." Mia told her, remembering Bree's obstinacy that they not take Lara away from her after she was born. She'd made Mia promise to stay awake to make sure the nurse's didn't come and take the baby in the middle of the night.

"Well, I'm not in a hospital." Claire pointed out.

"All the more reason to take extra care." Charlie told her. "You'll be there for him; after you sleep."

"No, ok?" Claire cradled her son closer to her chest. "No."

Charlie chewed his lip and leant closer to her. "Claire... no one is going to take this baby away from you. No one."

Claire's lip quivered a little. "You don't know that, ok? You can't say that."

"I won't let it happen." Charlie promised.

Claire glanced down at her beautiful baby; her tired eyes barely staying open. "Just be really careful, ok?" She had worried tears in her eyes as she shifted her baby from her arms into Charlie's secure hands.

Mia carefully watched Claire and waited until she huddled herself under her Oceanic blanket before she followed Charlie. "Will you be okay with him?" She asked, rubbing the baby's soft, fine head of hair.

"Yeah, kid's love me." Charlie assured her, shielding the infant's eyes from the sun with his hand. "I got this."

Mia started up the beach towards the raft and noticed Kate storming into the jungle. "Kate!" Mia jogged into step beside her – the girl was fuming. "What happened?"

"Your husband is an asshole." Kate hisses out of the corner of her mouth.

"I know." Mia tried to smile. "What did he do?"

"I want his spot on the raft." Kate pouted. "He found out."

Mia nodded, now understanding her attitude. "I imagine he wasn't thrilled."

Kate stopped walking and took some steadying breaths. "You're leaving, too?"

"Yeah." Mia agreed.

Kate seemed both irritated and confused by this. "Why?"

"Same reason you want to leave, Kate." Mia shrugged. "We don't belong here."

"What if you die out there in the ocean?"

"Then I die out there in the ocean." Mia simply replied. "I can't just wait." Kate merely offered her a sad smile before heading back off down the beach leaving Mia alone with her thoughts. It was dawning on her, after talking with Jack, Kate, Claire and Charlie – her _friends_, that simply up and leaving this island on that raft was going to be a hell of a lot harder than she'd first thought. Her knees gave way a little and Mia found herself sitting in the sand and staring out at the water lapping up against the shore.

"You okay?" Matt asked as he flopped onto the sand behind her. "Seems like every time I see you you're staring out into the ocean looking all forlorn."

"Yeh, I'm fine."

"You always say that, too." Matt smirked.

"You're a smartass." Mia nudged his shoulder with her own.

Matt chuckled and stretched out his legs and dug his hands back into the sand. "You mad at Jack, Sawyer or both this time?"

"I didn't always used to be angry, you know," Mia threaded her hair through her fingers. "My sister can back me up on that."

"Still..." Matt let out a tired breath. "When he's around you're... different."

"I know," Mia sighed and hugged her knees. "There's... a lot of anger there."

"Can I ask why?"

Mia thought about shutting up, but something about this sweet guy made her want to tell him everything. Maybe it was his honesty with her about himself within mere seconds of meeting her, or they way he didn't care if people whispered about the way he eyed Jack. He legitimately didn't care what people thought about him. Mia wished she had that courage. She knew she exuded it; but she didn't always feel that way. "I lied to him. And it broke his heart. He's never forgiven me... to tell you the truth, I don't really blame him."

"What did you lie about?"

"Sawyer's a conman. I was hired by one of the women he screwed over to catch him in the act and get her some revenge... but..." Revealing her secret always seemed to make Mia more emotional than she would have liked to appear. "I couldn't do it... I couldn't turn him in."

"You loved him." Matt said in understanding, completely non-judgemental.

Mia nodded and wiped the tear welling in her eye away with her thumb. "And when he found out that I lied..."

"Anger." Matt finished for her.

"Anger."

"I didn't know you had a sister." Matt shifted the conversation back to something more palatable.

"A little sister; Bree." Mia smiled. "She has a daughter, Lara. She's five. I lived with them in Australia." She glanced back out to the ocean.

"I get it, now." He muttered a moment later. "They're why you want to leave."

"They're why I _have_ to leave." Mia confirmed. "We don't get along with my parents... they need me." She gulped. "I need them."

"I have a sister. Jordan." He smiled as he said her name. "I raised her and God knows how much I miss her."

"If I could smuggle you onto the raft, Vaughn, I would."

"Would you settle for a note instead?"

"Sure," Mia playfully tugged his forearm.

"Mia, can you give us hand?" Michael called to her as he and Jin dragged a piece of plane wreckage up towards the raft.

"Yeah, sure," She got to her feet and dusted off the back of her jeans. "I'll see you later, ok?" She patted Matt's shoulder and jogged up to help Michael lug the wreckage.

The raft was looking good; strong. She'd only sailed on top class marine freighters before, but considering their supplies and time limit; Mia was impressed. It was built in a catamaran style, and though it looked big from Mia's vantage point, it had to house five of them on the open water for God knew how long. She was sure it would start to feel very small, very soon.

Mia climbed up onto the raft and took a look around. The sail was waiting to be attached; the mast still had to be put up and some of the ropes keeping the bamboo keel. "This looks great, Mike..." Mia said as she tested the strength of the mast. "Can this go up yet?"

"Needs one more stick of bamboo; just to be sure it's secure." Michael replied as he unravelled some rope. "Sayid's building us a transmitter, he's salvaging stuff from that plane Locke found; should send out a signal once we get onto the water."

"Sounds good to me." Mia smiled and noticed Charlie walking towards them, the baby squirming in his arms and shrieking. "Hey, Charlie," Mia sat on the raft and slung her legs over the side.

"Hey," Charlie was slightly frazzled. "Do you know anything about babies? I can't get him to be quiet."

"Just walk with him; he'll calm down." Mike offered, though he was more pre-occupied with the knot in his rope.

"Yeh, I tried that," Charlie muttered and moved to Jin. "Hey, have you seen Sun?"

"No," Jin vehemently shook his head and pointed to the baby. "No."

"Maybe he's hungry?" Mia offered. "Newborns basically just eat and sleep."

"He slept already," Charlie tried holding the baby over his shoulder and patting his back. "And Claire nursed him five times."

"Hey, Chuckie, want to keep that kid quiet?" Sawyer complained in arrival as he dumped a stick of bamboo at the base of the raft. "Baby Huey's like nails on a chalkboard."

"There you go…" Charlie jiggled the baby in his arms as he quieted down. "Are you happy now?" He directed at Sawyer. And then, the bub started screeching again.

"I _was_." Sawyer rubbed the back of his neck. "If you're going to play nursemaid, at least do the damn job."

The second Sawyer stopped speaking; the baby started to cry. The sound of his voice kept him quiet; and Charlie caught on right away. "Hey, say something else." He ordered Sawyer. "Just say something, say anything."

"Okay, fine." He jabbed his finger at the baby. "I liked that thing a lot better inside than I like it outside." Sawyer tried to walk away, but Charlie was at his heels. "What?"

Mia just laughed. Lara had liked his voice, too. She was fastening the bamboo Sawyer had brought back to the mast with some rope when it snapped in two in her hands. "Crap." She cursed the threads in her hand.

"Yeh, some of the rope is weak." Michael said as he chucked her another line of it. "Sorry..."

Mia's hand was bleeding a little, but not too bad. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Jack up in the distance walking into the jungle with Sayid. They were walking much too fast to be considered normal; and it piqued Mia's interest. "I'm gonna go bandage this, don't wanna get blood all over your pretty boat." She let Michael help her down off the raft.

"Ok, but if you're headed to the caves, fill these up," Michael chucked her a knapsack within which was a dozen or so empty Oceanic water bottles.

"Yes, Sir," Mia smirked and shouldered the bag before quickly taking off into the jungle. She followed Jack and Sayid parallel through the jungle until the shrubs became too thick for her to see. Backtracking a little; she found her way onto the manmade path they had all created from hiking back and forth to the caves. She knew where she was, but she didn't hear Jack and Sayid anymore.

"Why are you following us, Mia?" Sayid asked from behind her.

Mia jumped and turned around. "Don't do that." She threatened him with an empty water bottle.

Jack came out of hiding behind one of the trees to her left; he was surprised to see her. "Did you know?" He asked.

"Know what?" Mia was blank.

"Nothing." Jack cast a glance at Sayid and didn't press the matter. "What are you doing out here?"

"I told you I'd find out what was happening with Locke." She replied to Jack. "Michael said you were getting stuff from the beech craft with Locke;" She said to Sayid. "I saw you walking off with Jack and figured you might be going to find out for yourself."

"Fine." Sayid agreed after a lingering silence. "Stay close."

Mia had to force herself not to roll her eyes; Sayid had a way of treating her like she couldn't handle things even though she was more equipped to deal with things than he assumed. She hung back a little before she followed Jack after Sayid. She fell into step beside Jack with Sayid just out of earshot ahead of them.

"What did you mean before?" Mia asked Jack in an undertone as they trudged along. "What did you think I knew about?"

"Kate drugged me." He replied simply.

"What?"

"She crushed sleeping pills into my juice."

"Oh," Mia suppressed a smile that Jack noticed.

"So you _did_ know?"

"No," Mia chuckled. "I didn't; I swear. Although if she had told me, I would've been up for it. Everyone needs rest, Jack."

"I know; I'm a doctor."

"Don't sass me," She knocked his shoulder with her elbow.

"Hey..." Jack's laugh disappeared and took her hand; making her stop. "You're bleeding." He inspected her palm.

"Yeah, it's nothing." Mia assured him, but she let him check it out. "Just rope burn; I've had worse."

"Wash it out," He instructed her. "Infection can be pretty brutal..." He caught eyes with her. "Why do I think you know that already?"

"Because you're clever." Mia replied, blushing slightly as she felt her eyes linger in his for a moment. "Look, can we avoid the awkward conversation and just pretend that kiss didn't happen?"

Jack chuckled. "Ok." He dropped her hand and they continued walking in a comfortable silence.

"We're here!" Sayid called out up ahead of them.

Mia almost gasped when she stepped through the longer reeds of grass and saw it. Now, she was a person who had been unlucky enough to see the weirdest of the weird when it came to military defence and the like; but even she couldn't identify what this was. It was like a massive bunker, heavily reinforced and buried well into the ground. The hatch door on top was sealed shut and had the word 'quarantine' stamped across it.

"Whoa..." That's as articulate as Mia could get.

"Why didn't you say anything earlier?" Jack asked Sayid; equally in awe of the bunker.

"I only just found out myself." Sayid replied.

"Where you planning on telling anyone else?" Mia asked, recalling how covert the two men had been when sneaking off the beach.

"There's no need to cause a panic." Sayid said reasonably.

"The raft is leaving soon; were you just going to let us all go and not tell us about this?" The blank look Sayid sent her gave her the answer. ""Oh, I get it," She folded her arms tightly across her chest. "Just because I'm leaving, I get cut out of the gang."

"It's a hatch." Locke spoke up from behind them. "Boone and I have been uncovering it for a about three weeks. We found it when Claire went missing."

"Three weeks. You've been out here for three weeks digging this thing up and you never told me about it?

Locke smiled respectively. "All due respect, Jack, but since when do I report to you?"

"All due respect, John, but you lied." Jack replied in the same tone.

"How long did you have that case full of guns before you decided the rest of us needed to know?" Locke pointed out with that smarmy grin of his. "You used your best discretion. I used mine."

Jack ran his tongue along his bottom lip. "So how do we open it?"

"What?" Mia almost laughed. "You want to open it?"

Jack nodded once. "Yeah."

"We should bury it!" Sayid snapped firmly. "I brought you here to talk him out of this insanity. _Anything_ could be inside."

"Best case scenario there's supplies - worst case, we use it as a shelter."

"Actually, Jack, there are much, much worse things it could be." Mia spoke up. "I'm with Sayid on this one; there's already crap happening on this island that we can't understand; and you _want_ to open a hatch that's got QUARANTINE written on it?"

"Aren't you leaving on the raft, Mia?" Locke said to her.

"Yeah… so?"

Locke frowned and raised his eyebrows. "Don't you think it's a little odd that you should get a vote on something that won't matter to you once you're gone?"

Mia glared at him. "This thing is dangerous!" She pointed down at the bunker. "And wanting to open it puts every one of our lives at risk. I'm going to find rescue, what if we do and come back to find all of you dead because you blasted open a friggin hatch?"

"What if you don't find rescue?"

Mia's fists were balled in rage and she advanced on Locke with every intention of knocking that grin right off his bald head, but she was blocked by Sayid. "Move!"

"Hurting him does not help." Sayid held her back by her shoulders. "We'll go back to camp; gather more support to stop them opening this thing." He snarled the last words to Locke.

"And start a panic?" Locke presumed.

Mia cast another evil sneer at him. "To stop you." She corrected him. Without another look at Locke or Jack, Mia stormed away from that bizarre hatch and made her way towards the caves to fill up the water bottles. She should have just gone there in the first place, lived in ignorance like the rest of the camp, she wished she didn't know it was there. Now, it was a danger. And Mia was trained to get people _out_ of danger. Yet her heart was set on going on that raft, for reasons she didn't fully understand; but she knew she had to go. Mia did not belong on this island; and the more she was discovering about it; the more she knew the raft was where she had to be.

**xxx**


	14. Off I Go

*I'm aware flashback events of this chapter (timeline wise) mess with the canon Lost timeline. So sue me, lol :]*

**Chapter 14: Off I Go**

_(1x22-1x23)_

_Flashback – Sydney, Australia - 2002_

The rain was pouring down so hard Mia could hardly see the road in front of her. The windshield wipers were whipping back and forth like springs giving her only glimpses of what was up ahead. She knew Keamy would be behind her. _"He has to make this mistake."_ What the hell did that mean? If he hadn't told her about it, surely Sawyer would do it regardless.

Mia pulled her truck to a stop at the dock. She knew the tires had screeched, but she couldn't hear it over the deafening roar of the rain splattering against the concrete and the waves kicking up at the bay. Sydney Harbour wasn't known for flooding, but on rare occasions it became very angry.

The shrimp truck was up ahead of her, closed down for the night now, and just nearby beyond a jetty was Sawyer's car. Even though it was under a streetlight; she couldn't see if anyone was inside. It didn't matter; she just had to get to him before he shot this guy, this Frank Duckett, formerly Frank Sawyer as James had been lead to believe. It was times like this Mia regretted every choice she'd made in the past two years. She knew her husband had been lied to and that Duckett wasn't the man who killed Sawyer's parents; but she couldn't tell him how she knew. She couldn't tell him she was an agent, he'd know what she'd been hired to do, he'd know she was recruited to have him arrested and sent away. He'd think she didn't love him; he'd think it was all a lie.

Walking away, out of the rain and back to her car, was Mia's way out. But if she did that, an innocent man would die and his blood would be on James' hands. She wouldn't let him live with that.

So instead, she sped up, ignoring the sound of a car pulling up behind her and hurried closer to the closed shrimp truck.

"Rowan!" Keamy's gravelly voice screamed over the rain.

She didn't think he was that close to her, but he was pulled her back by her elbow a second later. "What?" She cried, letting the rain soak her face.

"You can't do this!" He bellowed angrily. "You'll blow your cover; _my_ cover!"

"I can't let him do it!" Mia yelled back. "He'll never be able to take it back!"

"And what are you going to say when he asks why you were here? How you know this guy isn't who he thinks he is? Why you tried to stop him?" Keamy's thin lips pulled into a tight frown. "He won't stay; Mia."

Mia was happy it was raining; her tears mixed with the rain so easily no one would see her cry. "I don't care. I can't let him do this." With that, she turned on her sodden heel and kept walking. It was then she saw a man, Frank, tossing large trash bags into a dumpster. And barely ten feet behind him was her Sawyer, gun in his hands, murder in his eyes; ready to strike.

"No!" Mia croaked out; but her voice was strangled and tight. "NO!" She screamed again and started running towards them. "James, NO!" He couldn't hear her over the rain. Keamy's arms grabbed her around the middle, trying to hold her back, but it just made her fight harder. "It's not him, James!" Mia cried. "DON'T!"

If she hadn't seen the gun fire, she would have thought it was just thunder. But she did see it; she saw the flash of the trigger and Frank buckle to his knees, his body contorting into a sickening shape, before slumping back into the dumpster. Sawyer pocketed his gun and knelt before the man, pulling a damp, white piece of notepaper from his jacket pocket.

Keamy let go of Mia and stared over at Sawyer and Frank. "This is your mess now, Mia." He said into her ear. "I'm getting the hell outta this country."

She faintly registered Keamy starting up his engine, knowing that she'd most likely never see him again after this. She hadn't expected him to come down here in the first place; but there he'd been. Only now, faced with losing everything, this life that she and Sawyer had created, did she realize what a fraud she was.

Sawyer didn't know. He didn't know the truth about her, but he was going to find out now. This was the beginning of the end. This would be the start of something she could never take back, a hurt so deep she knew she could never apologize enough for it. Her only hope was that maybe, _maybe_, he loved her enough to stay.

Mia just stood, stunned and still, just like him. They let the rain pour down on them, wishing it would wash away the sins they'd committed and regretted so much. She saw her husband's eyes flicker towards her, asking so many questions in that one look, knowing it wasn't by chance that she was here. A look that silently asked the questions that were going to be asked in the near future, the questions that would end everything they had.

Frank was dead, Mia was a liar, and Sawyer was a murderer. What marvellous roles to play...

**xxx**

Every time it rained Mia thought of that night she saw Sawyer shoot Frank. Even as the thunder clapped in the moody gray sky and the waves crashed unsteadily against the sure; she thought of it. She imagined it was going to be a long time before rain was just rain.

Today had been bad. Following the revelation about the hatch, Sawyer had thought Kate's best punishment for trying to nab his spot on the raft was to rat her out to the whole camp; tell them all she was the fugitive. It seemed to have the desired effect; the whole camp turned their backs on her. Had Mia not known about Kate's past already; she might have turned away, too.

Charlie had finally found a solution to the baby's cries that didn't result in tailing Sawyer all over the island; he played his guitar for the newborn that drifted off to a comfortable sleep as he heard the tune. Mia passed Claire giving Charlie a haircut whilst he strummed his instrument over the cradle; she waved but she didn't stop.

Mia wasn't all too fond of taking orders, but it was Michael's raft and he could toss her off if he wanted so she was happy enough to do as he asked; even when it was delivering extra wire to Sawyer who was finishing off the mast.

She approached his tent and went to pull back his tarp door when he did the same from inside; her hand instead grazed his bare chest; he liked to work on the raft in just his jeans and no one was complaining. The man was hot. "Sorry." She apologized and retracted her hand, lifting up her other to give him the wire. "For you, love from Mike."

"Thanks," he shoved the wire into the knapsack dangling from his fingers. When she didn't move from in front of him; he raised his eyebrows. "Somethin else you want?"

"Why didn't you tell everyone that I knew about Kate?" Mia found herself asking. It had been bugging her; but she hadn't intended on actually asking him about it.

"Why would I?"

Mia frowned and shrugged. "You seem to like causing trouble."

Sawyer smirked. "She tried to bump me off the raft."

"So it was retaliation? Are you that petty?"

"You really askin' that?" He cocked his head to the side. "Don't need to make every one hate you, Mayday. Sometimes I think you're pretty damn good at doing that yourself."

His voice wasn't harsh; even if the words were. He was as calm as if he were talking about the weather; and that's why Mia didn't retort like she normally would. Instead she just nodded, and told him she'd see him later.

"Hey, M, hang on." He called her back and disappeared into his tent.

Mia waited outside until he came back into view. She heard him scuffling in there but didn't sneak a peek. He yanked back the tarp flap and thrust a picture into her hands; her picture of Lara and Mia, taken the week before she'd boarded the plane. It had been in the same envelope as their divorce papers. This proved that he had them; but that's not why he was giving it to her.

"Chuckie said something about putting letters in a bottle," He ran a hand through his greasy mane of dirty blonde hair. "Thought you might... wanna write to them."

Mia held the photo like a jewel. "Thank you," She breathed. "But why are you giving this to me now? Why now?"

"We're going out to open water," he said, starting them off walking down the beach again. "Who knows if I'll need you to have my back?"

Mia scoffed a laugh. Whatever the reason for their life together; the one constant was her looking out for him. It was why she was hired; to watch him; learn from him. Loving him hadn't been a prerequisite; but when it happened her goal changed and her SRF training kicked in. It was recon all over again. Protect him; keep him safe. "I've always had your back, James," She reminded him.

They parted ways and Mia retreated to her tent. She dug a pen from her bag and wrote a note on the back of the photograph. Short; but Mia had never been one with words on paper.

_Bree & Lara,_

_I'm fine. James is fine. I'm coming home; I promise. I love you._

_Mia xox_

It was all she could think to write. It was the truth; and it was what she felt. She would come home; she belonged with her family.

**xxx**

_Flashback – Sydney, Australia - 2002_

Mia knew when she drove home through the rain after James that he would know something was going on. She'd been in bed when he'd left, and he arrived home before her so seeing her drenched from head to toe and sniffling was a giveaway that something was going on.

He was as shattered as she was; so the screaming began. Him yelling at her; where had she been? Had she followed him? And Mia's pleading reply of apology after apology; it was her fault that he'd killed Frank.

"I'm so sorry, James," Mia sobbed as she leant against the wall for support. They were in their once charming and comfortable living room. Normally it was their favourite place to be together; now it just seemed tainted. "I knew who he was! I knew you were making a mistake!"

"HOW?" James roared, pulling of his sodden clothes with violent movements. "How the hell did you know?"

And then she divulged it. Everything. From start to finish. She'd known he was a con. She'd known he was desperate to hunt down the man who conned his mother and whose lies murdered his family. She was going to arrest him; toss him in jail. But she hadn't. She'd loved him. She'd reneged on her job and chose him; married him and moved him here to keep him safe. But as honest as her intentions were, she knew all it sounded like were lies.

"How long have you known?" he growled when she finally stopped talking.

Mia gulped. "Four years."

"Do you know where he is?"

"No. Only that Frank Duckett wasn't him, and Hibbs lied to you."

"That's a hell of a card for a wife to keep close to her chest," Sawyer sneered. "My lovely little wifey had been hired to arrest me."

"Things changed." Mia reminded him. "I... I didn't want you to get hurt... this was the only way to keep you safe."

"Right, marrying me to get me out of the states," He scoffed and through his jacket across the room. "I should have known! Ain't no other reason to be married, is there sweetness?"

"I love you." Mia assured him, trying to wrap her arms around him, but he just shoved her off. "I loved you then; and I love you now... please don't... don't give up on this." She reached for his face but he grabbed her wrists and kept her away. "We can get through it; I know we can." This time; she didn't care that he could see her tears. "We just have to try."

"Try?" He roughly pushed her wrists into her chest and knocked her back. "EVERYTHING you've told me is a lie! Your name! Your job! Your life! It's all fake!"

"You're a fucking conman!" Mia bellowed. "You're fake, too! Don't pretend for a second you weren't faking your way through this marriage!"

"The hell I was! Unlike you, Amelia, I married you because I wanted to. Not because it was a solution to some problem!"

"I'm sorry, alright!" Mia pleaded. "I'm sorry that I ruined everything!"

"See, that... that just... you know everything about me... and I know nothing about you."

"I'll tell you anything you wanna know!" Mia said desperately. "Bree is my real sister, Lara is my real niece, Mia is my name!" She knotted her hands in her damp hair. "I did lie to you and I'm sorry. I had to; I had to look out for you... I had to protect you and this was the only way that I-"

"Stop lying!"

"I'm not!"

"Oh, please, this is what you do, ain't it? That-that SRF?" He laughed; in devastation, not in jest. "Recon, right? You protect people. I was just another job to you."

Mia let her head fall back, knowing this was not even going to be okay again. "No, it is not like that!"

"What else am I s'posed to think, huh, Mia?"

"That I love you." She shrugged limply, this was her last option. The truth. "I love you so much, James, and I am so sorry for everything I've kept from you but I promise I'll tell you everything-"

"Too late. You know, I was happy with you. Life here... it was good. Happiest I've ever been. I knew it couldn't be real; nothing that good ever is." He snatched her shoulder up in a gruff hand and pushed her towards the door, halting just inside the door frame. "Congratulations, baby. You just conned a con." He opened the door behind her; letting the spatter of rain against their white panelled porch speckle the carpet. "Now get the hell out."

In shock, Mia stumbled outside. "James, I-"

"Get out!"

**xxx**

The rumble of commotion the following morning at camp is what snapped Mia out of a much needed, comfortable sleep. At first she'd thought perhaps Sayid had spilled the hatch secret, but when she exited her tent she saw what everyone was freaking out over. There was a woman walking into their camp. She appeared to be in her forties, had long, wild brown hair and was rail thin. She had a rifle slung over her shoulder and a jacket tied around her bony hips. She eyed everyone in the camp with great interest; particularly Claire who was holding her son close to her breast.

"Who is that?" Mia muttered to Sawyer, who fell into step beside her.

"Gotta be the French chick..." He replied; his hands gripping the gun sticking out from the back of his jeans.

"It's ok!" Sayid made his way through the crowd and stood in front of their visitor. "It's all right, everyone calm down." Slowly, he approached her and offered her a smile. "Danielle? What are you doing here?"

Danielle glanced around the camp again; before her steely eyes connected with Sayid's. "The Others are coming."

**xxx**


	15. The Last Night

*Forgive the long chapter, I really didn't want to break up the raft setting sail into two chapters :) Hope you like! :) Matt makes another appearance here, and he of course belongs to Bec! :)*

**Chapter 15: The Last Night**

_(1x23-1x24)_

_Run. Hide. Die._

They were Danielle's suggestions as to what to do with The Others impending arrival at the beach. And after recounting a horrifying story of how she came to be shipwrecked on this island, and how The Others had kidnapped her newborn daughter Alex, Jack took the lead and hashed out a plan with Michael to get the raft launched that day.

Mia's heart was a flutter. The prospect of actually getting away from this place made her all kinds of excited. She didn't have a chance to really dwell on anything; because she was taking the lead gathering people to lay the palm log railings down from the beach to get the raft to the water.

"No, no," Mia stepped between Jack and a man named Steve who were lining up the rails. "They have to be closer together," She kicked the palm logs slightly. "Otherwise it's gonna bite the sand before we even get it to the water."

"You built a boat before, Mia?" Jack smirked at her as she tied her wavy hair up into a ponytail. "I wouldn't be surprised."

"It's not boat stuff, stupid, it's common sense." She patted his shoulder and grinned. "Get back to work, m'kay?" She jogged up to help Michael wedge in some splintered palm tree branches into parallel points of the raft; they had to lift it up and carry it a few feet before it landed on the rails, then they could just glide it onto the water.

Everything seemed to be in place; the island was abuzz with excitement and the prospect of rescue. "Okay, we ready?" Michael called to everyone, all able bodied castaways were helping out and getting themselves organized at the levers on either side of the raft; which currently appeared to be quite massive, dwarfing all those who surrounded it.

Mia stepped in behind Sayid on the right of the raft, and out of the corner of her eye caught Sawyer grab the lever behind her. "Ow," her muscle spasmed under the weight and shuddered a little, and the rod slipped from her hand.

"I got it," Sawyer murmured and reached around her shoulder, grabbing and steadying the lever before it completely came apart. "On three, okay?"

"Yeah," She readjusted her grip and together they lifted on three; their combined strength holding the lever in place. Mia was leaning back against Sawyer's chest for balance as Michael took charge down the front.

"So, listen, on my count!" He yelled. "I'll do 1-2-3—lift and then push, okay? Once we get it down to the water line, we'll drop it and load it up. Alright." He got into place behind one of the front levers. "Ready. 1-2-3. Lift!"

Everyone grunted and groaned as they lifted the raft; slowly but steadily forwards, and then pausing to take a break. "Good!" Michael roared over the top of everyone. "Use the levers! Again! 1-2-3! Lift!"

This time it was pushed a little too far, and gathered up momentum of its own, slipping out of most people's control. It slid off the rails and hit the sand, the sharp shift in direction cause the mast to splinter and then snap in two.

A universal groan chorused from the survivors, especially Michael, who was visibly furious as he stormed to survey the damage. "I can't believe this!" He shot Sawyer a dirty look. "Can't believe it!"

"What are you looking at me for?" Sawyer panted and stepped aside from Mia "It's not my fault."

"You missed a lever!" Michael cried.

"No, he didn't." Mia tried to cut in.

"Why are you defending him?"

"Because you are being a typical man who would rather argue about a problem then figure out a way to fix it." Mia said pointedly. "You didn't keep the raft straight."

"I wasn't _supposed_ to!"

"Dad?" Walt, who had been busy keeping Vincent from getting in everyone's way, suddenly yelled. "Dad! Look!"

The alert in his tone made everyone looked to where he was pointing, to the horizon, to a pillar of black smoke drifting threateningly up into the brilliant blue sky.

The panic that followed caused everyone to retreat to their own coping mechanisms. Claire stayed close to her tent with the baby, Charlie at her side, Michael and Jin set to work fixing the raft as best they could, and Mia went with Jack, Kate and a handful of others to see Danielle; her warning about The Others coming having apparently come true. She didn't tell them anything more; she claimed she didn't know anything else, but she did pose an important question as to how they were supposed to hide over 40 people.

After a brief brainstorming session, the chosen solution was to blow open the hatch with dynamite Danielle claimed was at a place called "The Black Rock" and hopefully everyone would fit inside. Jack took charge and addressed all of the survivors.

"Look, I know you're all scared. And I know everybody has a lot of questions. All I can tell you right now is that we do have a plan. We've got to go into the jungle to get some supplies. We'll be back in a few hours. In the meantime, do everything you can to help Michael get that raft on the water. And after that, go to the caves. We'll be back as soon as we can. I promise."

Mia hung back a little as the survivors dispersed. Sawyer had wandered off after Michael shut him out of helping fix the raft, Mia assumed he was drinking or wallowing or both, maybe even clearing out his stash again.

Charlie was gathering everyone's letters to their loved ones, and on her way to see Jack, Mia passed him her rolled up photo of her family to stash inside. Everyone was really into the idea; the bottle was half full.

Jack was packing water bottles when Mia found him; he was deep in thought, his brow crinkled and his mouth open slightly, as if the dirt on the ground was so interesting he couldn't take his eyes off it. "You'll miss it." Mia said loudly, snapping him out of his daydream.

"I'm sorry?" Jack looked up to her, just noticing she'd arrived.

"The raft." Mia smiled. "You'll miss it taking off."

Jack smiled, rose to his feet and shouldered his pack. "Yeah, I guess so." He paused. "You sure you're going to be okay out there?"

"I've worked on boats before, Jack. I'll be fine."

"That's not what I meant."

Mia smiled appreciatively. "I know."

**"**Be safe, Mia." He reached out and offered her a hug that she happily accepted.

"Yeah," Mia squeezed his strong, broad shoulders, and blinked back bashful tears. "You, too." She briefly kissed his cheek as she pulled back; he smiled once more and then left her standing there, but not for long. Kate appeared behind her a second later.

"Hey..."

Mia turned, and eyed the backpack lingering on Kate's shoulder and the water bottle she was turning over and over in her hands. "Oh, no... you're going with Jack?" She felt a pit in her stomach; she'd hoped Kate would see them off.

"I'm not very good with goodbyes..." She muttered sheepishly, tucking the water bottle into her pack.

"I'm gonna see you again, Kate." Mia vowed, resting her hands on her shoulders. "Count on it."

Kate offered a shaky smile and flung her arms around her. "Just be careful, okay?"

"Ditto." Mia hugged her tight, and watched with tear in her eye as Kate joined Jack, Hurley, Locke, Danielle, and a fellow named Arzt who'd predicted a monsoon and claimed to be good with dynamite. The group set off up the beach and then filed into the jungle one by one.

"It's all happening, isn't it?" A familiar voice spoke from behind Mia.

"Matt, hey." Mia smiled at him.

"You weren't going to leave without saying goodbye, were you?" He smirked. "You hugged Kate and Jack..." he opened his arms. "Where's mine?"

With a laugh, Mia collapsed into his chest, letting him hug her more than she hugged him. She hated goodbyes; _hated_ them. She'd had to say goodbye to everyone in her life; and now it was like she was reliving it saying goodbye to Jack, Kate and Matt.

One goodbye in particular just never seemed to take...

**xxx**

_September 22, 2004 - morning_

Mia's leather boot heels echoed in the hallway of the police station. It was early; there was no one around except a few officers grabbing coffee and a handful who'd obviously been there all night. She couldn't believe she was here; she wished she'd listened to Bree before she'd left the house. Why was she bothering with this? All because of this damn envelope in her hands? _Yes_, she told herself. _I need a divorce from him; it has to end now. _

Sawyer was being deported; he'd been in lock up all night and for some reason, she was still his emergency contact. Since she was local, they called her. Her first instinct had been to refuse; but that envelope made her agree. It was more than just his signature; it was an end. A final goodbye. That's what was missing from her life, what hindered her from moving on.

The officer who had called her, Calderwood, met Mia at the front desk and directed her back here to the interview room where James was waiting for her; but she'd asked that they not tell him it was she who was coming. The element of surprise might serve her well; she'd been trying for two years to get these papers signed and he would just send them back to her. He was still angry; and that made her angry.

Mia rested her hand on the doorknob, thinking she could turn if she wanted to, walk away, go meet Bree and Lara at the park like she'd promised. But her more logical mind was too quick and before she knew it, the door was open.

He had his back to her; he was staring out the window. "My visitor here yet?" He asked, assuming it was a police officer who'd entered.

"Yeah, I'm here." Mia said, her voice sounded much stronger than she thought it would, closing the door behind her.

Sawyer spun in a flash, his long, shaggy mane whipping around his face. His eyed rounded on her. "M, what are you doing here?"

"They called me." She said flatly; taking a seat at the table centred in the room. "I'm your emergency contact. They said you got in a fight; that you're being deported."

Sawyer's surprise waned to frustration; but he sat heavily in the remaining chair. "Why are you here? You miss me? Here to take me back?" He smirked.

Mia didn't take the bait. "Sign these." She ordered; slapping the envelope against the surface of the table with a _SMACK_. "It's a no-fault divorce, clean and simple. I don't want anything. All you have to do is sign them."

He gave her a wry look. "You got some loser waiting for it to come through?"

"Why, are you jealous?" Mia snapped; then she bit her tongue and composed herself. "Just sign them. And that's it. It's all over."

He sighed, and rolled his tongue across his bottom lip. "And why would I do something like that for you?"

"This is just a formality and you know it." She tightened her lips together. "We've been divorced for two years." As she said that; she knew they were both thinking of that night in the rain... that night James had killed Frank Duckett... that night she'd told him everything... that night he'd kicked her out. Mia removed a pen from her pocket and offered it to him. "I've never asked you for anything before."

With an apprehensive glint in his eye, Sawyer took the pen, opened the envelope and sifted through the papers. "All comes down to this, huh?" he muttered as his eyes fell on the empty line where he had to sign; Mia's signature was already scrawled on the paper.

"I never wanted any of this to happen." Mia grumbled, her hands clenching together on the table. She didn't bother to try and hide her anxiety.

Sawyer skimmed the legal jargon of the paperwork, put off by the factual description of their relationship, the citing of _Irreconcilable Differences_ as the reason for the divorce. He almost scoffed, wondering how it could be called 'irreconcilable' when neither party had attempted to make amends. Three sheets of paper did not convey all that had happened in their relationship. Mia was right; it was just a formality now. No one cared about what happened between them except the two of them, no one cared who was hurt by who, who ruined whose life... He didn't want her to suffer; but he didn't want to just cut her loose, either. "Come with me."

"What?"

He dropped the pen to the table. "They were yakking about me having an escort back to the states, so nominate yourself." A smile played at his lips. "Come with me to LA, and I'll sign these when you land." He shoved the papers back across the table to her.

"Why would you _want_ me to go with you?"

"You come with me, and I sign those?" He raised his eyebrows. "Then we're even."

A lump formed in Mia's throat. She knew what he meant by that; he would never say it out loud. By 'even' he meant that everything she had done to him, the lies and the secrets she'd kept, all her mistakes... by calling them 'even', he was saying he would forgive her. And though her instinct was, again, to decline; she knew she would accept. Because the reason Mia was so angry when she thought of Sawyer, and so bitter when she talked of him; was because she felt nothing but guilt over what she had done. And his forgiveness was something she coveted; and never expected to attain. If a plane flight would absolve her...

"Alright." She agreed. "I'll go with you."

**xxx**

After Mia hugged the hell out of Matt, she did a final sweep of her tent, tucked her pillow under her arm and gathered up her clothes. She was only bringing the bare minimum that fit in a shoulder bag on the raft; she left everything else on Claire's bed with a note telling her to wear them well.

Minus the mast; the raft was pretty set to go. Mia climbed up onto the raft with ease; she was so used to doing it she could get onto the deck in just two steps.

"What's that?" Michael pointed to her pillow.

"My luxury item." Mia explained, to Michael's puzzled face. "Y'know, like on _Survivor_ they're all allowed to bring one thing from home... I'm bringing a pillow." She put her hand on her hip. "You gotta problem with mah pillow?" She said in a gangster accent.

Michael laughed. "Diverse." He nodded in approval of her voice. "Fine; bring it along. Oh, no!" He spotted Jin doing something he apparently didn't agree with. "No, this one goes there."

"Okay, okay!" Jin assured him that he understood.

"Hey, Chief!" Sawyer yelled as he came out of the jungle, a perfectly sculpted mast slung over his broad, bare shoulders. "Cut and measured to length - perfect mast."

It was hard for Mia not to stare at him; he had his shirt off and was just in his jeans. His perfectly toned, bronzed body was glistening with sweat and his shaggy hair was blowing carefree in the breeze. It was like he stepped off the cover of a trashy romance novel. He caught her staring; and didn't let it slide. "Why don't you take a picture, M?" He tossed her the bundle of wiring at his feet and held his arms out at his sides. "I seem to recall you weren't all against the cameras back in the day…"

Mia found herself smiling a little, and just tossed the wiring back into his hands. "You just volunteered to do this yourself."

"Oh, really?" Sawyer chuckled devilishly and watched her sit herself on the raft, seeming to enjoy watching him work from where she was.

"Hey listen," Michael spoke up. "Thanks, man." He smiled positively.

Sawyer smiled back, it was as close to an apology as they were going to get. "Well, alright. Now, are we going to get off this rock or stand around talking about it?

Sayid emerged from the jungle, his arms loaded with what looked like junk, and addressed Michael in front of Mia, who had her legs dangling over the edge of the raft and was fiddling with a knot in a tangled mess of rope they needed to secure the new mast.

"I salvaged a few things for you from the Beechcraft." Sayid said as he handed them over to Michael. "This is the plane's radar emitter. It needs to be mounted on the mast or the top of the cabin.

"I'll do it." Sawyer was up on the raft in an instant; so he took the radar from Michael and secured it to the cabin with bundles of leftover wire.

Sayid pulled Michael aside, but Mia was still in earshot to listen as well. "Michael, to conserve power, turn it on only once every hour or so. It will show you any ships within the horizon line, approximately 25 miles. The same with the radio transmitter." He pulled a bulky gun from his waistband. "This was in the plane's toolbox." He handed the flare gun to Michael. "There's only one flare. Choose wisely when you use it."

"One flare." Mia repeated. "Poetic, in a way. Annoying, in another."

"I do hope that you'll be successful." Sayid said to her as Michael left them alone.

Mia scoffed. "Is that your way of saying goodbye and good luck?"

"I suppose so." Sayid took her hand and held it gently. "Goodbye, Mia. And good luck." He kissed her fingertips and then retreated back down the beach.

"What is _with_ random people kissing me all of a sudden?" Mia mumbled to herself as she slid off the raft and gathered up some full water bottles waiting to be packed.

"Not complaining, are you Mayday?" Sawyer called to her.

"We got a _long_ trip ahead of us; do you really wanna piss me off before we're even on the water?" She cocked an eyebrow at him.

"Wait, this is you _not_ pissed off?"

Mia smirked and threw the three water bottles at him; he dropped two. "This'll be fun." She said through a toothy smile.

All too soon; they were really saying goodbye. Everyone was gathered around the raft, helping push it to the water and hold it in place, handing over an extra tarp or spool of rope that they thought might come in handy. Charlie gathered up the last of the letters in the bottle and handed it to Sawyer. The hugging and chorus of farewells followed, as Mia said goodbye to Shannon, who had been given the task by Walt to take care of Vincent while they were gone, Sun and Charlie.

Claire didn't say anything to Mia, just smiled and pushed her son into her arms. Mia hugged the infant to her chest and kissed his chubby little cheeks. "Be good, little man," She whispered to him. "Stay a sweet baby." He gurgled and yawned, making Mia smile. As she lowered him back into Claire's arms, she wrapped her arm around the blonde's neck and held her close; the baby squirming between them.

"Come back safe, okay?" Claire said masking tears in her eyes with her flyaway fringe.

"Damn, Claire, I think I'm gonna miss you." Mia laughed.

"You better!" Claire chuckled back.

"Mia? Come on!" Michael called to her.

Mia and Sawyer stayed on the beach, helping the castaways push the raft into the ocean. As it glided onto the water, they both scrambled to get to the deck. They past the first test; the raft floated. Second test was getting the sail up. Sawyer jumped atop the cabin and pulled on the rope; the wind caught the sail and it puffed out and caught the breeze.

"Haha!" Michael cried out in exhilaration as he hugged his son and slapped Sawyer a high-five. "Didn't I tell you?"

Mia was bouncing up and down in glee, lifting Walt off his feet in a sweeping hug, she even approached Sawyer to hug him, before she stopped herself and the two instead shared a big smile. Mia gave an enthusiastic wave to everyone who was cheering at the shore, Shannon lost control of the dog leash and Vincent dove right into the ocean after the raft.

"Go back, Vincent!" Walt ordered his dog. "Vincent! Go back!"

It was quite emotional for Mia to watch, as the dog obeyed and swum back around to the shore into Shannon's waiting arms. Everyone stayed at the shore and watched the boat until it disappeared behind the hook of the cove. Mia expected to see the ocean, but instead she gasped as more of the island came into view.

Michael let out a low whistle. "How does a place this big never get discovered?"

"Don't know, but you could build yourself one hell of a beach resort right over there." Sawyer grinned happily and pointed to a secluded little beach.

"Yeah, you build your resort. I'm happy to say goodbye to this place forever." Michael smirked.

Mia helped Jin loop an extra few ropes around the rudder to keep them secure and then grabbed herself a bottle of water.

"_Redemption song_," Sawyer was singing quietly, circling a rope around his arm and through his fingers."_Is all I'll ever have_..."

Mia grabbed a second bottle of water and poked him with it. "Are you singing?"

"No," He lied with a smile and took the bottle.

"You're a filthy liar." Mia teased and downed a few swallows of water. James just laughed; Mia noticed how at ease he was already. They were still in view of the island; in fact Mia was sure she'd swam out further than this before; but even that was enough to make him happy. She resolved not to bicker with him, for as long as she could, since this raft was so freaking small she couldn't go off running into the jungle to cool down. And with Jin not speaking English and Michael and Walt catching up; she didn't really have any one else to talk to.

With another look back to the beach where the survivors were finally starting to dwindle away, Mia considered that the outcomes of getting on this raft might actually extend to more than just finding rescue. If she could find a way to heal her relationship with Sawyer; get to a place where she wasn't so angry all the time; she might just consider crashing on the island to be not such a bad thing after all.

She just hoped they would run into another boat or something sooner rather than later.

**xxx**


	16. Open Water

**Chapter 16: Open Water**

_(1x24-1x25)_

Having not packed a hell of a lot in her shoulder bag for the trip, Mia was glad she'd remembered to tuck a book with her things. It was _Persuasion_ by Jane Austen. She'd intended to read it years ago but never found the time. She'd packed it with her on the flight 815 to read whilst in the air; but the crash had messed with that plan. Then, once finding that it survived the crash, Mia kept it in her tent to read when she found the time; but it was always too windy, too dark, or too busy around camp for her to concentrate. Now, on the open waters, she did have the time to read it. It was handy to keep her mind focused, too, because the wavering raft on the waves was making her queasy. The book was more addicting than she thought it would be, and it was only when she heard a snap from behind her that she even looked up.

"Rudder!" Jin yelped.

Mia stuffed her book back into her bag and sprang to her feet. Sure enough; their rudder was floating steadily away behind them, bobbing beside a large log that the raft had knocked against.

"We're losing it! It's sinking!" Michael yelled as he set Walt up on the cabin and made sure his life vest was secure.

Sawyer was yanking off his boots, clearly volunteering himself to be the one to dive in after it.

"Lower the sail." Mia ordered. "We have to stop the raft." Jin helped her up onto the cabin so she could climb the makeshift ladder against the mast to pull down the sail rope. She pulled it swiftly through her loose fingers and watched a shirtless Sawyer dive smoothly into the ocean.

"Get me that rope!" Michael asked of Jin who was already untying one of the rope bundles they'd brought along.

"It's sinking!" Sawyer called from the water as he tried to swim back with the rudder under his arm.

Mia hopped down off the cabin as Michael tossed the rope as far as he could, instructing Sawyer to tie it around the rudder and then they would all pull them in. He did so, and soon Mia was offering Sawyer her arm to help him climb up back onto the raft.

"You just saved our lives, buddy!" Michael slapped his shoulder appreciatively as Jin began securing the rudder back into place.

Sawyer was too puffed to speak and just leant back against the side of the raft to regain his breath, but he gratefully took his shirt back when Michael offered it to him.

"You should put that back on before you burn." He said stiffly, and then went to help Jin.

Mia noticed the sudden change in his tone and looked down at Sawyer, seeing him trying to hide his gun. Apparently Michael hadn't known he was armed.

Breathing normally, Sawyer rose to his feet, clearly uneasy.

Mia didn't really know what to say to him, she didn't mind that he had a gun, she had one too, but Michael knew about it. She assumed he just wanted to be sure of just what was going on around his son. She held her hand out to him. "Give it to me." She said. "I'll put it with mine until you dry off."

He paused, almost digesting every word she said searching for the catch, but he didn't find one; there was none to be found. "Well, alright, M," His cheeks dimpled into a smile as he handed the pistol over. "Didn't know you were packing, too."

Mia's lips curled into a gentle smile as she removed her shoulder bag from underneath the cabin. "Well, now you do." She placed his gun in one of the front pockets of her bag.

"Mia, can you get the sail back up?" Michael asked curtly, apparently annoyed at her calm interaction with Sawyer.

"Sure," Mia smiled brightly and heaved herself up, surprised when she felt two arms grip her hips and boost her up. "Thank you," She said politely to Sawyer, ignoring the smirk he was beaming up at her. From where she was she was able to kick his black button-up shirt into his arms. "Put that on." Mia grinned and held her tongue between her teeth as she climbed up to readjust the sail. '

For a second her brain moved ahead faster than her body could react. She knew she'd missed a hook when tying up the sail, and she knew that would cause the bamboo arches to slip sharply to the right, but instead of acting on it, she froze; confused for a moment. And then an arch struck her heavily across the back of the head and she blacked out.

"Mia!" Sawyer cried as she tumbled off the raft into the water. "Mia!" She disappeared under the surface.

Michael was at Sawyer's side in a second. "Where is she?" He held Walt back away from the edge and peered into the water. "Where'd she go?" His dark brown eyes searched for her.

"There!" Jin shouted. "Mia there!"

She was floating upside down, looking sickeningly like a drowned, dead body. She wasn't moving.

Sawyer dove right back into the water, Jin yanked the sail back down and Michael once again looped the rope together to toss to him.

Her body was limp when Sawyer looped his arms around her. Her head lolled back against his arm, blood smearing her hair and running into her eyes. Sawyer had to tread water to get his other hand to her face. "Mia?" He tried to rouse her. "Come on, wake up."

"Sawyer, the rope!" Michael yelled from the raft.

The faint splash beside him alerted Sawyer that he'd thrown the rope to him. He spun it through his fingers and then around his fist a few times. "Ok!" He called to Michael, signalling him to pull them in.

Jin was almost in the water he was reaching down so far. Both he and Michael grabbed Mia under an armpit as Sawyer hoisted her out of the water. Walt was watching, enraptured, from atop the cabin.

Michael laid Mia down and pushed her wet hair away from her face. He leant his ear to her mouth. "She's not breathing," He began to centre his palms to her chest to start CPR.

"Move," Sawyer fell heavily to his knees beside her and knocked Michael's hands away. He straightened her neck and torso; he locked his elbows, pressed his hands to her chest just between her breasts and pressed down, firmly, for five counts. Then he held her nose, tilted her head back and blew air into her lungs.

"Is she gonna die?" Walt called out, but no one answered.

Jin was busily getting the sail working again; but his eyes kept flickering to Mia as he worked.

"Come on, baby," Sawyer growled under his breath as he began a third round of compressions. "Come on!" He breathed more air into her body. Two minutes ago she'd been smiling at him; now she was lifeless beneath his hands. She seemed so frail. "Mia!" He said through gritted teeth as he pushed against her chest again. With a shock, her chest spasmed forwards and water spewed from her mouth. Her eyes were wild and unblinking as a gleeful Sawyer pulled her into his lap. "It's ok, you're ok." He said with relief.

Mia coughed and spluttered. Her throat felt like she'd swallowed a blade and her chest was pulsing. She couldn't really recall what had happened, but the thought did cross her mind that she hadn't been in Sawyer's arms like this in quite some time. Every time she opened her mouth to speak she started coughing all over again.

Michael dropped beside her, unscrewing a bottle of water and holding it to her lips. She tried to take a sip but it just coughed back up. "Maybe we should go back..." He craned his head back towards the island.

"No!" Mia managed to say, wriggling out of Sawyer's arms so she was at least sitting on her own. "No, I'm okay." She took the water and swallowed a mouthful to prove her point. "I am," She assured Michael. "Really." Her smile was shaky, but at least she managed to form one.

Sawyer held at hand to her back and tilted her head towards him to survey the gash. "You did a good job on this one," He winced as he noticed the slice through her skin. "Doesn't look deep but..."

"But what do you know, huh?" Mia smiled at him and straightened her head.

"You sure you're okay?" His smirk was gone; he was just concerned now.

"Yeah," She said, although she coughed again right after. "Thank you for saving my life." She said over-dramatically.

Now, Sawyer did smirk, and he laughed a little as he got to his feet. "Well, I guess you owe me one, now."

Mia chuckled – and coughed – as well, holding her hands up to him so he could pull her to her feet. "Well," She said as she was vertical again. "When we get rescued, we'll talk about it."

A flash of nervousness cut across his face, when they got rescued? Was she implying she wanted to keep in touch afterwards, not run as far away from him as she could the second her feet hit solid ground? Her eyebrows were expectantly raised, awaiting his answer. "Deal," He agreed.

**xxx**


	17. Those Nights We Sleep

_A/N: This chapter contains Lindsey Shepherd, my friend Allie's (SassyLostie on here) OC, who is Jack's sister in her story It Runs In The Family_

**Chapter 17: Those Nights We Sleep**

_(1x24-1x25)_

_Los Angeles_

Bree Rowan poured herself some steaming hot coffee from the pot on offer and gazed around the room. It was her first time to a meeting such as this, she'd never been big on therapy, even though they assured her this was different. Even with her tough life, her parents horrid marriage, her misspent youth (looked on fondly now since it had spurned her greatest achievement in her daughter), every bad relationship; Bree had always managed to make it through on her own.

But then she'd received that early morning phone call.

They'd lost contact with Mia's plane, and it never landed in the states.

Bree had collapsed in a sobbing heap on the floor; thankfully Lara had been at a sleepover and hadn't seen her outburst.

The first thing she did after she'd picked herself up off the floor was book two tickets to Los Angeles for her and Lara. She had to then go through the horrid moments of calling her parents, telling them their eldest daughter was missing. Her father, William, busy with his new family, was devastated and offered Bree whatever financial aid she needed; but he of course didn't offer to come with her. Her mother, Mariana, was much more sympathetic, but she was out on a girls cruise with her friends and couldn't return for a week, Bree was already in America by then.

She found she wasn't the only one, and met with random family members of other passenger's from the plane who were in search of answers, desperate to know of news of their loved ones. But they never got any.

Bree wasn't going home. She called her father again; and took him up on his offer for money to put her and Lara up in a hotel for as long as it took to find out what had happened. Mia was everything to Bree; she wouldn't just '_move on_' like she was being told to do.

However, she didn't want to seem unreasonable, so when the airline had called her and informed her they were holding counselling sessions for the passenger's families, she thought she may as well go along and meet them.

It wasn't really counselling, they didn't sit in a corner and discuss their feelings. It was more like a meet-and-greet. Bree was polite, and smiled to everyone she made eye contact with. The stunningly beautiful, tall, blonde who had let it slip twice that ran a successful wedding business, and only mentioned once that she had lost her son and step-daughter in the flight. Bree kept clear of her, she wasn't exactly warm. There was a very depressed, plump Hispanic woman who kept to herself in the corner; a vague looking woman with flaming red hair and a big fur coat; a paling, thin, middle-aged blonde woman with a sweet, tear-stained face who wore a denim jacket over her waitress uniform; and a handful of other people who really didn't call attention to Bree. There was also two counsellors 'on hand' in case anyone wanted to talk.

Bree had let Lara go and get a cookie from the snack table while she did a lap of the room, but when she came back around she realized her daughter wasn't at the fold-out table with the sweets on it. "Lara?" Bree called out, her voice a little more frantic than she'd have like it to be; but she had just lost her sister. "Excuse me," She said to the waitress. "Have you seen my daughter, she's five-years-old with long brown hair?"

"No, sorry hon, I haven't," She said with a weak smile. "I'll keep my eye out for her."

Bree thanked the woman, noticing the stitching on her apron read _Diane_ and walked briskly out into the hall. With a huge sigh of relief, she saw Lara being led back to the room holding hands with a short, slim woman who had her chocolate brown hair styled in a soft pixie cut. She was smiling as she spoke inaudibly to Lara; she had one of those faces that radiated when she smiled.

Bree was so relieved to see her daughter she could have hugged the woman. "Lara!" She knelt down and took her daughter's hands. "What have I told you about wandering off?" Her eyes were watering. "I was worried sick!"

"I'm sorry, Mummy." Lara apologized. "I saw a butterfly."

"We'll talk about it later." Bree rose and smiled gratefully to the woman and gripped Lara's hand tightly at her side. "Thank you."

"You're welcome. She was just down the hall; I caught her on my way up here."

"Oh, are you going to the meeting?" Bree jabbed a thumb at the open door that displayed a sign welcoming the families of the Oceanic passengers.

"I guess." She said hesitantly. "I'm a cop; they, ah, they told me it was a "good idea" for me to come." She stuck her hand out. "I'm Lindsey Shephard."

"Bree Rowan." Bree shook her hand. "This is Lara." She patted her daughter's head.

Lindsey reluctantly entered the room, relaxing slightly when she saw the loose nature of the meeting. She sat with Bree at a card table in the corner with a toy box beside it. Bree planted Lara beside her with the second-hand toys, not wanting to lose sight of her again.

"This your first one of these?" Lindsey asked, referring to the meeting.

"Yeah," Bree replied. "Might be my last, too."

"Your accent... Australian, right?"

"Yeah, we flew over here the week after they lost the plane." Bree said tersely.

"Who was it for you?" Lindsey asked, knowing she didn't have to clarify her question.

"My sister." Bree said, unable to stop her voice from cracking.

"My brother." Lindsey said in a low tone.

Bree gave her a wonky smile; it was nice to have someone quite in the same boat as her, even if she was a perfect stranger. Right now everyone in this room was feeling the same thing. Loss, grief, and an overwhelming urge to blame someone else for the disaster. It wasn't enough to blame Oceanic, at least not for Bree and she suspected not for Lindsey either, she wanted answers, legitimate answers, as to why her sister was gone. And she wasn't going home until she had them.

**xxx**

_ Island_

Mia had to take off her jeans for them to dry in the afternoon sun and evening air, so she was just shivering in a pair of cotton shorts she'd brought with her and her singlet which had already dried. They each had a blanket, but Jin had offered his to Walt to use as a pillow and Michael had bundled his along with Walt's over his son while he slept beside the cabin. Mia slung hers over shoulder, while Sawyer had used his as a towel to dry his clothes, and now it was hanging by Mia's jeans drying in the cool evening air. He'd also taken his gun back.

Leaning by the mast, Mia tightened her blanket around her shoulders and sighed.

"What are you huffing about?" Sawyer asked her as he fiddled with the radar.

"I can't see the island anymore." Mia replied, glancing at him over her shoulder. "I know it's there but... can't see it."

"Maybe that's a good thing." Sawyer muttered wisely as he turned on the radar.

"I turned it on a little while ago." Michael arrived at his side.

Mia turned and leant on her elbows against the cabin. "Sayid said every hour."

"We're 15 miles out." Michael reminded her. "We could be here for weeks. If that battery runs out..."

"The man said every hour." Sawyer shrugged, and Michael didn't protest anymore, so Sawyer turned it on and the three of them watched the screen expectantly, hoping for a flashing little dot, but there was nothing, and Sawyer said as much.

"Five minutes, no more." Michael warned him.

"Aye, aye." Sawyer mocked him with a wry grin, and the pair proceeded to have a conversation that Mia chose to tune out, since James was using that false bravado she hated so much, acting like more of an asshole than he was. Not that he wasn't a complete bastard; but sometimes he laid it on even thicker, and that was one thing Mia could never get over. It was part of his conman side, the side she'd never, ever liked. A certain word uttered out of Sawyer's mouth made her check back into the conversation.

"Well, I ain't no hero, Mike."

Mia just looked at him seeing Michael back away, and Sawyer noticed her, got annoyed and glared at her. "What?" He asked sharply.

"You're _no hero_?" She repeated with a smile. "You saved _my_ life."

Sawyer's eyes lingered in hers, even in the darkness, but then he broke out his telltale smirk. "Saw an opportunity to grab myself a kiss, so I took it."

Mia scoffed, but that turned into a full on laugh that rang out in the darkness and made Sawyer chuckle, too. But their laughs were both cut short when a motorized beeping caught them both off guard. Mia rushed to Sawyer's side, colliding with his muscled arm, and saw the flashing dot on the radar. The pair of them exchanged a bewildered expression.

"Is that what I think it is?" Sawyer jabbed his finger at it.

Mia nodded slowly and scanned the open water. "Something's out there."

Upon hearing the beeping, Michael and Jin rushed to look at the radar, too. All four of them just stared at it, as the blip floated ever closer to their position.

"It's closer." Sawyer kept saying. "It's closer. Give me the damn flare gun."

"Hold on a sec." Michael said hesitantly.

"I'm telling you, it's closer!" Sawyer yelped. "Look!"

"I know, okay. I've got one flare." He turned to Jin who was babbling something in Korean. "Ok, I know. You don't see anything."

"What the hell are you expecting to see?" Sawyer said loudly as Walt ambled in sleepily next to his father. "In case you haven't noticed, it's _dark_."

"Michael, what if it goes right past us?" Mia added. "We have no other light!"

Michael held up the flare gun. "We only have one chance."

"This _is_ that chance!" Mia pointed out.

"Is it a ship?" Walt asked excitedly.

"We don't know, little man. We don't know." Michael squeezed his young shoulder.

Jin turned Michael around by his shoulder. "Starboard? Port?" He asked firmly.

"Port." Michael answered, to which Jin responded in Korean but Michael seemed to get the gist of what he was saying. "Okay, what the hell am I supposed to do about it?"

"Hey, Han, you and Chewie want to slow down a second and talk to me here?" Sawyer cut in sharply. "We have to fire the flare."

"We don't know what it is." Michael was clearly trying to be reasonable. "It could be anything - a piece of floating junk. We don't even know if Sayid's radar works."

"Have you ever known that guy to fix something up that don't work?" Sawyer pointed out.

Walt was staring at the radar. "It's moving away."

Mia peered over Walt's shoulder. "Floating junk that knows how to steer, huh?"

Michael looked unconvinced. "_We're_ moving. It doesn't make-"

Sawyer snatched Michael's wrist. "Look, are you going to give me the damn gun, or am I going to have to take it?"

Michael glared at him. "What are you going to do? Shoot me?" He said the last words with a bitter tone, and Sawyer caught it immediately, and let him go.

"It's almost gone." Walt sounded desperate. "C'mon." He looked pleadingly at his father.

Michael let out a guttural groan and gripped the flare gun. "Please, _God_." He begged as he aimed it high up above his head. Jin let down the sail, and Michael fired off the flare. It exploded into the air like a single firework, popping into a fiery burst of embers.

The group could only wait, staring at the empty radar, hoping and praying that the little blip would return, that rescue would come for them.

And then it did, the little dot came sailing back onto the screen.

"It's coming back!" Walt cried in elation. "It's coming back!"

Mia gave him a hug from behind around his neck as the guys started whooping and slapping each other's backs, laughing in pure exhilaration. Mia saw the boat approaching first and ran out to the front of the raft waving her arms. "Hey!" Sawyer was at her side a moment later, hollering just as loud. He wrapped his arms around her and spun her off her feet.

Suddenly they were all blinded by a floodlight from this rescue boat that was aimed directly at the raft.

"Are we glad to see you!" Michael yelled while Jin gave Walt a big hug.

A bearded man peered over the edge of the boat just after they cut their motor. He had a big, goofy smile on his face as he eyed each of them individually. "What's going on? What are you folks doing this far out here?"

"We were, we were - the plane crashed!" Michael yelled. "We were on the Island for months, man!"

"Plane crash, huh? Well, how about that?" The bearded man seemed impressed.

Michael was too excited to form full sentences. "We were on an island - oh, flight 815!"

"Hey, where are we?" Mia yelled, squeezing Sawyer tight around the waist. "Who are you guys?"

"It's a good thing we found you." The bearded man said, his smile still intact.

"Yeah, yeah, we survived, and there's a whole group of people back on the…" He pointed his thumb out towards the horizon.

"Well, ain't that something?" The bearded man shook his head in disbelief. "Only, the thing is," He focused on Walt. "We're going to have to take the boy."

A strange silence followed that filled Mia with a sickening fear, she felt Sawyer's arm tense around her back and his body went rigid. Mia glanced over to Walt, who was standing between Sawyer and his father, looking confused.

"What? What'd you say?" Michael's smile faded quickly.

"The boy." He clarified. "We're going to have to take him."

Michael stood in front of his son, shielding him. "Hey, what the hell's going on here? Who are you people?"

The bearded man's cheery smile disappeared. "Just give us the boy." He ordered as two other men on the boat suddenly rose to their feet.

"I'm not giving you anybody." Michael replied curtly.

More silence. Mia felt Sawyer detach from her and pull her arm off of his waist, so he could get a hand to his gun poking out of his jeans.

His smile returning, the bearded man almost laughed. "Well, alright then."

The rest happened so fast, yet so slow. The floodlight snapped off, Sawyer drew his gun, shoved Mia roughly behind him and took aim at one of the boat people, but he was too slow and was shot by one of the waiting men who stood by their bearded leader. Mia saw the flash and had no time to react as Sawyer was struck in the shoulder and fell overboard, disappearing into the water.

"Sawyer!" Jin cried, and flung himself into the ocean after him.

"No!" Mia was torn because she saw two more people jump on the raft and make a beeline for Walt. Michael tackled one and let go of Walt's hand, Mia snatched the boy and held him tightly to her chest. "Get off!" She cried as the man, who was about three times her size and twice as strong, pulled her hands off him. "Walt!"

"Help me! Dad!" Walt cried out as the man dragged him kicking and screaming back onto the boat. "DAD!"

"NO!" Michael tried to run after his son, but the man he'd tackled got to him first and pushed him over the side. "WAAAALLLTTT!"

Mia was left standing alone on the raft as these people swiftly exited the raft, but when she saw what looked like a match light from their boat, she knew something bad was going to happen. A moment later, someone chucked a Molotov cocktail onto the raft, the boat's engine kicked into gear and they sped off to the horizon, with Walt screeching for his father to help him. Mia ran for the edge of the raft, her eardrums felt like they burst as a wave of heat cascaded over her back, disappearing once her body submerged underwater. She felt the shudder from the explosion even below the surface, and she dreaded coming up for air, but she needed to, her lungs were starting to ache. Only when her head broke free did she see the debris of the raft raining down, with pieces of wood and bamboo clusters flaming on the water.

Something smacked against her head, something sliced at her leg, and something was throbbing in her ribs, but she was still awake. "Michael?" She screamed, but she could barely hear her own voice over the roar of the flames. "Sawyer! Jin!" She waded around on the spot. "Someone!"

Tears welled in her eyes. "HELP!"

**xxx**


	18. Hanging By A Moment

**Chapter 18: Hanging By A Moment**

_(2x02)_

"_MIA_?"

Still treading water, Mia barely caught the sound of someone calling her name. She thought she'd imagined it the first time; but there was no mistaking it when she heard it again. "Sawyer?" She hollered back. All she could see around her was floating debris, some of it still flaming. "Where are you?"

"Hang on!"

Mia's mind was racing. They'd been attacked, those people on the boats had zeroed in on them, snatched Walt and left them for dead. They had to be in league with The Others, the ones Danielle had warned them about, it wasn't coincidence. A splashing noise made Mia swivel in the water and she saw Sawyer, clinging to a piece of the raft, trying to swim towards her. "Sawyer!" She hollered in relief and began breast stroking towards him.

"Where's Michael and Jin?" He asked her when she pulled herself against the plate of bamboo he was using as a makeshift raft; it seemed to have once been the floor of the original one.

"I don't know," Mia gasped as she tried to heave herself up out of the water. "They came on board and just took him – Walt – I couldn't stop it!"

"It's ok," Sawyer reached down to help her but had to pull back when a searing pain burned through his left shoulder. "AH, Dammit!"

"Oh, God," Mia suddenly remembered the sickly image of him being shot, and falling off of the raft into the water. "Did it go straight through?" She touched his shoulder, making him flinch and grunt in unison. "It's still bleeding..."

"Wait, wait!" He held her hand away from his chest, head turning out to see. "I hear something..."

Mia paused, and she listened as well. "Mike!" She recognized his voice. "Mike!" Up ahead between two smoking pieces of wreckage, she saw him. "There, there!" She pointed him out to Sawyer, grabbing a flat piece of wood floating nearby and using it as a paddle to direct them closer to him.

"He's going under!" Sawyer yelled as he saw Michael disappear below the surface.

"I got him, I got him," Mia assure him, looping her legs around either side of the raft and squeezing her thighs together to hold her position as she reached both hands into the water and snatched Michael up by his armpits. Fear gripped Mia's heart as she realized he wasn't breathing.

"He's not breathing!" Sawyer verbalized her thoughts.

"I know," Mia tried to stay calm and straightened his back so she could perform CPR. It had been quite a while since she'd had to use it; but she remembered it all. Tilting Michael's head back, she lined her hands up on his chest and pressed for five counts, and then breathed slowly into his mouth. She repeated the process again, and again, until Michael's eyes snapped open and he began coughing up water.

"Walt!" He tried to yell; but his voice was strained. "Where is he?"

"Breathe, Michael," Mia instructed him as she helped him sit up. "Take it easy."

"Where is he? Walt!" He coughed some more until his voice came back, and then he yelled. "WALT!"

"I don't know," Mia said helplessly. "Michael-"

"They took him!" Michael seemed to remember all of a sudden. "They took my son!" He screamed at Mia; his brown eyes wild and terrified.

"I know," Mia tried to hold him still by his shoulders but he just shoved her off. "I'm sorry; but Michael you can't-"

"They took my boy!" He hollered again.

"We saw that!" Sawyer yelled. "They took him onto a boat which means he ain't in shoutin' distance! And even if he was, there's nothing you can do."

"But if he can hear me, he knows that I'm alive - that I'm coming for him!" Michael snapped. "That I'm going to get him back. Right now, all I've got is that _maybe_ my son can hear me. Does that make any sense to you?" Sawyer didn't reply, so Michael just turned back out to the open water. "Walt! Walt!"

Thinking it best to just let him scream for awhile, Mia turned her attention to Sawyer and his shoulder. The moon cleared through the clouds giving her some light to see just how much damage he'd done. It was bad; not unfixable, but the longer it stayed wet the worse it would get, and the more likely it would become infected. He kept flinching as she touched it, but he didn't complain.

"Did you see Jin?" He asked through gritted teeth.

"No," Mia sighed as she carefully tore of a ragged piece of his sleeve. "He dove off the raft after you, before they came aboard and took Walt."

"They hurt you?"

Mia shook her head. "No," She shifted to get a better look at his wound and winced at the sharp pain in her leg.

"What?"

"It's nothing," She said dismissively. "I cut my leg on something when I jumped in the water." She smiled; it really didn't hurt that much and his wound was definitely priority one. After a moment more, the moon disappeared again and Mia became aware that Michael had stopped screeching. He was sitting on the edge of the makeshift raft, as far away from Mia and Sawyer as he could be without being completely submerged in the water.

"Jin?" Sawyer called out, quietly at first, but then louder. "Jin!"

"Thought we had to save our energy," Michael said bitterly.

"Yeah, well, Jin's still out there in the water, so if it's okay by you, I'm going to keep shouting for him. Jin!"

"Feeling guilty." Michael muttered.

"What?" Sawyer snapped.

"You made me fire that flare." Michael snapped; in a very accusatory tone.

"I made you fire - what, this is my fault?"

"They took my son. They found us - took Walt - because _you_ made me fire the flare."

"Jesus, Michael, what the hell do you think would have happened if we just let it go by?" Mia asked. "It was our chance, what if we hadn't seen another raft for weeks? You'd be killing us for not making you fire the damn-"

"Get off my raft." Michael suddenly demanded.

"What?" She snapped, prepared to retort but she was shaken as something from below, underwater, nudged the raft making the three of them freeze.

"What the hell is that?" Sawyer managed to get to his feet with Mia's aide; all three of them yanked their legs away from the water. Sawyer pulled his gun from his waistband and aimed it at the water.

"I see you managed to hold on to your best friend there," Michael said curtly. "That thing ain't going to work, anyway."

"It'll work." Sawyer said firmly, slipping cartridges out of the magazine. "Bullets are dry, powder's dry - if the powder's dry-" He was cut off when the raft was bumped again.

"Oh, Christ," Mia's eyes rounded on a gray fin slicing through the water around the raft. "It's a shark."

Michael gave Sawyer a menacing look. "Your shoulder." He snapped. "The blood brought it here!"

"Oh, well, I'll just stop bleeding then." Sawyer retorted sardonically. "Did you suddenly forget what happened? Why I got shot? How about a little gratitude here? I mean - a thank you!"

"Thank you? For what? For you trying to save your own ass?"

"You want us off this raft?" Sawyer sneered. "You got it!" He started to kick at the raft, that was barely clinging together anyway, until it split in two pieces, Michael on the smaller one, and Mia and Sawyer on the larger, but less stable one. Michael just watched them, and Sawyer caught his eye as they began to separate in the water. "I was trying to save your damn kid!"

Mia silently looked at Sawyer's wound again. It caught her eye because fresh blood was oozing out onto the water. She couldn't staunch the bleeding without first removing the bullet, it was likely to have severed a bunch of veins and arteries and still be pressing on them, hence all the blood.

Sawyer seemed to be reading her mind. "It's gotta come out; don't it?" He panted, already knowing the answer.

"It's gonna hurt." Mia told him as she carefully peeled back his sleeve some more. "Bad. I wish I had an – oh, God," Mia's eyes fell on something floating nearby, stuck to a piece of what used to be the mast. It was her shoulder bag. "My lucky pack." She grabbed for a piece of bamboo nudging up against the side of their piece of wreckage and used it to fish her bag off the mast and pull it over. "Please, please," She begged silently as she pulled it up into her lap. It wasn't empty, maybe it was still in here... "Yes." She smiled, pulling her penknife from the inside pocket.

"Your gun make it?" Sawyer asked.

Mia rifled through her soaking wet back. Her book was still there; completely drenched, as were her one change of clothes, but her gun and the handful of other things she'd had in there (lip gloss, hairbrush, some coins, just various backpack riff-raff) were all gone. "No," She answered Sawyer, snapping the knife up out of its sheath. "But this is all I need."

"You sure you know what you're doing?"

"I dug a bullet out of my thigh once," Mia reminded him. "This should be a piece of cake... wouldn't mind better light... and everything dry..." She took a few deep breaths and shuffled closer to Sawyer, the knife secure in her hand. Gently, she rested her hand on his shoulder, making him wince, to keep him steady, and raised her eyes to meet his. "Ready?"

"As I'll ever be." He tried to smile.

Mia took one more deep breath, and dug the knife into his shoulder. His scream rang like a bell through the night air making Mia's ears rumble, but she didn't lose focus. She felt the metal of her knife hit the metal of the bullet, loosening it. "I got it!" She tried to tell Sawyer over his grunts and moans, but he didn't seem to hear her, or if he did he couldn't reply. Dropping the knife back to her bag, Mia reached into his skin with her finger and managed to drag out the bullet under her finger. Sawyer howled through gritted teeth as she pulled it free from his shoulder.

"You ok?" Michael suddenly asked, as the current had kept their separate rafts floating along together.

"He will be," Mia said back with a brief smile. "But the sooner we get to land, the better.

"You got a band-aid?" Sawyer joked wearily.

Mia smiled. "This'll have to do," She pulled her black singlet from her bag, it was wet but it would have to do for now, and tied it around Sawyer's shoulder creating at tourniquet to stop the flow of blood. "How do you feel?" She stupidly asked.

"Like I've been shot." He said breathing heavily. "Thanks..." he added a moment later.

"Welcome," Mia replied, as something in the distance caught her eye again. "Hey," She knelt up unsteadily. "It's one of the pontoons."

"Can you get to it?" Michael asked her as he, too, turned to see it.

"I think so," Mia glanced around the water for the shark. Their little raft was falling apart, barely staying afloat. The whole point of the pontoons was to make the original raft float, so sitting up on one of them would definitely be best.

"You can't go back in there," Sawyer used his good arm to tug at her hand. "That toothy son of a bitch is circling us just waiting for a chance like that."

"You see him, shoot him." Mia said, sounding more confident than she felt. Not a lot of things scared her, but being mauled to death by a bloodthirsty shark was definitely one of them. But she was in the best shape of all three of them, Sawyer couldn't swim and Michael was emotionally exhausted, so Mia took a deep breath and swan dived into the ocean.

"Sawyer!" Michael yelled out, pointing to the fin thrashing at the surface of the water.

Taking quick aim, Sawyer fired the gun three times in succession; until a spray of blood flicked up out of the ocean, and the shark's tail whipped up through the air before it nosedived down into the water's depths. "Mia?" Sawyer called out; he couldn't see her anymore. "Mia?"

"I'm here!" Mia called out; popping up on the other side of the pontoon and pushing it towards Sawyer and Michael. "I got it,"

"Gimme your hand," Michael reached over the pontoon and snatched her arm, heaving her up onto the pontoon.

"Thanks," Mia shuffled down to the middle of the pontoon so Michael could climb onto the back, and then they paddled to Sawyer. Mia grabbed her bag and looped it over her head and then took Sawyer by his good arm and guided him onto the pontoon. It was wider than their piece of raft had been, so he could lie down.

"It wasn't the flare." He said tiredly as he lay down. "Those people that did this - at first I thought they were fisherman or pirates or something…" He sighed. "Then I got a good look at their boat. You know anything about boats, Mike? A boat like that wasn't built for the open ocean - water's coming over the side with the first little squall - maybe got a range of 100 miles. Nope, a boat like that had to have left port from somewhere close - like the island. French chick said the Others were coming for a kid. I think they came, Mike."

"What?"

"He's the one they wanted - why I got a bullet in my shoulder. Hell, Bluebeard blew us up because they wanted your kid." He let his eyes flutter closed. "They found us because they were looking for us…"

"He okay?" Michael asked Mia.

"Yeah; sleeping." Mia told him. "Not unconscious. He needs a doctor," A quick image of Jack flashed into her mind, and she suddenly wondered how he was, how they all were. Had the trek to the Black Rock been successful? Hopefully they were in better shape than Mia, Michael and Sawyer. "I'm so sorry, Michael," Mia said after a moment. "I had him… Walt… I had him in my arms."

"So did I." Michael said in a low voice. "He was right…" he nodded at Sawyer. "They were after Walt; he was all they wanted… I should never have brought him on the raft."

"If you hadn't they would have snatched him off the beach," Mia said reasonably. "Like you said, he was all they wanted." She chewed the inside of her lip. "You'll get him back, Mike," She said firmly.

Michael wiped a tear from his eye and sniffled. "I'm going to get him back." He repeated, like a mantra. "I'm going to get back my son."

Mia sighed, looking at the horizon, and saw the sun beginning to rise over the island... the Island... "How about that?" She said with a sad smile, as the island they'd been desperate to get away from suddenly became their salvation. "The current brought us back. We're home."

They drifted closer and closer to the island. From the looks of the beach; they were nowhere near their camp. Nothing looked familiar to Mia, not the trees, the beach; nothing. And the landmarks were all wrong; she saw nothing that reminded her of their old camp. She and Michael began steering the pontoon to the shore, using their arms to paddle along.

Sawyer awoke as the run was rising full in the sky, he saw Mia and Michael panting profusely. "We're back?" He noticed the island. They didn't answer; they didn't need to. Suddenly desperate to feel solid ground beneath his feet, Sawyer used his good arm and tried to help paddle. His left shoulder was numb; he didn't know if that was a good or bad thing, but he had a feeling Mia would so he kept it quiet from her, he didn't want her to worry.

Even though the island seemed close; it took them around an hour to get close enough to shore to climb off the pontoon, and even then Mia had to tread water for a few feet before she felt the sand beneath her boots. The trio were heaving in huge gasps of air, all of them having swallowed enough salt water to last them a life time, as they made their way up onto the beach.

Mia's lungs felt like they were on fire, she couldn't breathe in and out fast enough. Her vision was spotty, and she fell to her knees on the warm sand in a heap. Sawyer did the same; Michael managed to stay on his feet. Rolling onto her back, Mia stared up at the peaceful sky, the gentle breeze nudging the leaves of the overhanging tree branches ever so slightly; it was so calm, almost hard to believe only hours before she had been swimming for her life. For the first time in a long time, Mia breathed a sigh of relief.

That was until she heard the screaming.

They all heard it; and all turned to the jungle as the worried screams became louder. Then, out of the thickets, sprang Jin, arms clasped behind his back, running as fast as he could, stealing glances over his shoulder as he bolted.

"Jin?" Sawyer screamed, in both shock and fear.

"Michael! Sawyer! Mia!" Jin cried, continuing to look behind him as he ran.

"Oh, God!" Mia yelped as Jin tripped and fell at their feet. She could see his hands her bound behind his back with thick vines. "Who did this?" She asked as she and Michael tried to untie him, Jin was babbling in frightened Korean so fast none of them could understand him.

"Who?" Michael was asking him.

"Others! Others!" Jin suddenly said, his head turning back to the direction he'd come sprinting from. "Others..."

Mia turned, and saw a group of people approaching them. All armed with weapons, all with murder in their eyes.

**xxx**


	19. Underway

**Chapter 19: Underway**

_(2x03)_

Mia barely had a chance to get on her feet before she was smacked across the face with a thick tree branch. Her head spun and she fell backwards into Michael. Sawyer, barely able to use his injured arm, shot out in front of her to tackle the giant, shirtless, black man with wild eyes; but he, too, was struck in the face so heavily he was instantly knocked out cold. Jin and Michael met similar fates, both smacked unconscious before they could rise from the sand.

Knowing she was being moved, Mia managed to keep some sort of conscious as she was dragged away. She couldn't really focus on anything, but she definitely noticed when the soft sand underneath her changed to the rough floor of the jungle. A particularly sharp stick poked her in the side which made Mia lurch forwards a little; only to be brought straight back down by rope-like bindings. She couldn't get steady, granted it was hard since she was constantly moving, but she kept being thrown around, tossed about like a feather in the wind.

They finally came to a stop; but not for long. Before Mia could protest, she was falling; and then she hit the dirt. Well, half the dirt. It took her a second to realize the thing she'd landed on was Jin, still knocked out, as was Sawyer. Michael, however, was wide awake, and screaming for answers to his sons' whereabouts. But his questions were met with nothing but the large, black man's evil glare as he closed the roof on what Mia finally realized was a dug-out hole, about two metres deep and wide.

"What...?" Mia muttered as she stared through the holes in the rope latticed roof.

"Are you okay?" Michael knelt down in front of her, reaching for her face as he did so. "You're bleeding."

Mia rubbed at her forehead, just above her eyebrow, noticing blood smear on the back of her hand. "Must've been when we were being dragged." She muttered, turning to the unconscious Jin and Sawyer flattened out beside her. "Check Sawyer." She instructed Michael, as she shook Jin by his shoulders. "Jin?" She took his face between her hands. "Jin?" The man woke with a start, pulling immediately away from Mia as though she was his enemy. "It's ok! It's me!" Mia smiled at him; he calmed. "Are you hurt?" She gestured to her own injuries, hoping it would help with the language barrier.

It seemed to, Jin shook his head. "No hurt." He said.

"You ok, man?" Michael asked a now conscious Sawyer as he helped him sit upright.

"What the hell happened?" Sawyer hissed, tossing his shaggy hair out of his eyes with a flick of his neck.

"Others." Jin said simply.

"Did you see Walt?" Michael asked him. "When they took you, did they have him? Was he there?"

Jin covered his eyes, indicating he was blindfolded. "No Walt." He said apologetically.

"How many did you see?" Michael asked Mia.

"A handful," Mia shrugged. "I dunno; that scary looking guy and some others... they knocked me out before I could really see them." The cut above her eye started to sting, she cursed herself for rubbing at it.

"There could be hundreds." Sawyer added.

Mia glanced up again; estimating the height of the hole. "Push me up," She said to Michael.

"What?"

"If I can get up, even just to see what the hell is going on, I could get us out of here," Mia explained.

"Climb on my shoulders," Michael said, kneeling down so she could climb up on him.

Not wanting to have him buckle under her weight, Mia tried to space her feet out evenly on his shoulders, pressing her body against the side of the hole. She could easily slide her hands underneath the side of the lattice roof; but it wouldn't budge. "It's weighted down," She grunted, trying another edge of the roof. "It won't move."

All of a sudden, the roof was lifted straight up, catching Mia off guard, and then a body was tossed right in her face, knocking her off Michael's shoulders, her back smacking heavily into the dirt floor. "Ooh! God!" She grunted.

Sawyer's face hovered above her. "You okay?"

"Define okay?" She mumbled, taking the hand he offered her to pull her up into a sitting position. "Ow, shit," She cursed as a sharp pain stung through her side above her hip. Lifting her shirt, Mia saw a nasty, thin, little twig sticking into her skin; she'd landed on it. "Dammit..."

"I got it," Sawyer said, quickly tugging it out; it was in deep enough to draw blood, so he pressed his hand against the wound to staunch it.

Mia was wincing in pain; this just the newest in all the aches on her body. But at least she didn't have a bullet wound. "How's your arm?"

"Not so bad," Sawyer tried to smirk. "Don't hurt no more."

"That's not necessarily a good thing," Mia said, reaching for his wound, but he pulled away.

"It's fine, M, really," He assured her. "Help her."

For the first (proper) time, Mia saw was the body, crumpled in a corner, in jeans and a cut-off button-up shirt with a mess of charcoal black curls covering her face. Mia crawled over to her. "Is she breathing?" she asked Michael.

"Yeah," Michael said, brushing the hair from her eyes so they could see her face. "Got a bad knock on her head though, like us."

When Mia reached for the girl's face, she promptly woke with a start, gasping and throwing herself back against the side of the hole.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa," Michael held up his hands and smiled nervously. "It's all right, we won't hurt you."

"Who are you?" She asked, appearing quite frightened.

"We crashed here." Mia explained, thinking another woman's face might be somewhat comforting to her, but unable to shrug the thought she'd seen this woman before. "We were on a plane, Sydney to L.A."

"Forty of us made it." Sawyer added.

The pretty young woman looked between them. "Flight 815?"

Mia cocked her head at her, perhaps that was why she was familiar. "You were on it, too?"

"You were in the back?" Michael asked. "It broke off mid-air, how did you-?"

"I don't know," She said breathlessly. "The plane came apart, and - and somebody's fricking hardside came out of the overhead and knocked me out. I woke up under water and made my way to the top - swam to shore."

Sawyer seemed impressed. "You've been out here by yourself all this time?"

"Trying to find food - making my way - hoping to find somebody." She said. "And then, yesterday, they found me."

"Who are they?"

"You tell me."

"Did you see a - a boy?" Michael asked her urgently. "Ten years old? They took my son."

She shook her head. "No, I'm sorry." She paused. "I'm Ana Lucia."

"Sawyer. This is Mike, and Mia." He nodded to them. "The quiet Korean guy is Jin. We're about to be the best thing that ever happened to you."

"How's that?"

"Because next time Shaft opens the cage," He pulled his gun out of his waistband. "He's going to get a surprising little howdy-doody."

Ana-Lucia eyed his weapon, but then nodded.

"Ok, here's what we'll do," Mia took charge. "Jin plays dead, and we call for help."

Ana-Lucia raised her eyebrows at her. "Sick prisoner? Are you serious?"

Mia gave her a strange look, wondering where the attitude had suddenly come from. "You got a better idea?"

"Where'd you get that gun, anyway?" She jutted her chin towards Sawyer.

Now Sawyer was the one to give her an odd look. "What?"

"The gun - how'd you get it on the plane?"

"There was a federal marshal on the plane." Michael said hurriedly.

"So, what?" She sneered at Sawyer. "You just happen to have his gun?"

"Yeah, I'm lucky. Mia, let's get this thing going-"

"How come you didn't use it when they grabbed you?" She persisted.

"Gosh, I guess I was too busy getting hit in the face with a club. How come you're suddenly so interested, cupcake?"

"Hey!" Mia yelled.

"What?"

Mia was getting impatient. "C'mon, let's just - we gotta-"

Ana-Lucia had Sawyer's gun before Mia could realize, and it was squarely pointed at her a moment later, Sawyer buckled at his knees from a sharp elbow across the face from Ana.

"Back up!" She ordered Mia. "Back up!" She looked up. "Pull me out. Pull me out!"

The roof shifted, and the black man came into view, lowering a rope down to Ana-Lucia. She kept the gun on the group with one hand, grabbing the rope with the other, and was swiftly pulled from the hole.

"What happened?" The black man asked her; confirming that she was, in fact, one of _them_. "Who are they?" He lowered the cover again; and the pair's voices grew quieter as they walked away.

That sneer on Ana's face suddenly flashed before Mia's eyes again; and she knew where's she'd seen her before. "Christ… that's the bitch who smacked me across the face," She realized.

"She was playing us from the start," Sawyer groaned and let himself fall on his backside, grabbing for his wounded shoulder as he did so.

Michael was frantically trying to convey to Jin what was happening, so Mia knelt in front of Sawyer and, despite his protests, reached for his arm again. "I have to look at it." She told him firmly as she carefully untied the tourniquet of her black singlet she'd set in place. She tried to mask her alarm when she saw the obvious infection forming; but he saw her face blanch ever so slightly.

"It's bad, I know," He muttered.

"I've seen worse," She said. "I've _had_ worse," She added in an attempt at humour, and was relieved when Sawyer chuckled slightly at the vague reference to their less than stellar past together. Her army days were one of the secrets Sawyer didn't find out until he discovered the truth about Mia's motives for why he thought she married him.

"Listen," He grunted a moment later. "I ain't seen the papers..."

Mia just nodded; she assumed they'd been lost in the raft explosion. "It's okay." She found herself saying. "I guess I can stand being your wife for a little bit longer." He chuckled again. Mia was glad he was in relatively good spirits; because his arm was a different story. He needed Jack; or any medical attention. Her knowledge was basic; and useless without some form of first aid kit. "Just don't make me a widow, m'kay?"

Sawyer just smirked. "I'll try."

**xxx**


	20. Two Halves

**Chapter 20: Two Halves**

_(2x04)_**  
**

Mia was pretty good at telling the time from the sun, and even with the roof covering the dugout hole, she knew it was getting into the afternoon. She was beside Sawyer, they hadn't moved since Ana-Lucia had pulled that nifty little con on them, and over the time that had passed Sawyer had slumped into Mia's shoulder with his own, the un-wounded one, of course. Mia was just staring up at the roof, her mind ticking over. It was tied down; even if she could get up on Michael's shoulders again she wouldn't be able to shift it. Plus, seeing as they had tried it once before, it was a safe bet someone was now watching them from up there, making sure they didn't make for another getaway.

"What I wouldn't give for a cup of water right now..." Sawyer mumbled; his voice scratchy and strained.

Mia smirked to herself. "It's ironic, isn't it?"

"What?"

"This time yesterday we would have given anything to be on land... now all we want is water."

"Mia." Jin called, motioning with his hands to offer to lift her up again.

"No, no more human pyramids." Mia shook her head at him. "They'll be watching." She pointed to her eyes to try and convey the point, hoping she wasn't being offensive.

Michael, fed up, sprang to his feet and started screaming. "Hey! Let us out of here! HEY!"

"No!" Sawyer growled at him. "Just—chill!"

"Chill?" Michael repeated. "Every minute I spend down here is another minute my boy is still out there."

"Well, let me break it down for you, Mikey." Sawyer spat, flicking his fringe out of his eyes with a jerk of his head. "Right now, Rambina and her buddies are trying to figure out what to do with us. Until they make up their damn mind there ain't nothing we can do."

Sighing, Mia leant back against the wall of the hole. She was dying to go to the bathroom; and hoped she didn't have to hold it for that much longer. Beside her, she saw Sawyer grimace, clenching his jaw. He was obviously in pain, but all Mia could do was give him a pitiful look, one she knew he wouldn't appreciate so she masked it under a smile.

Suddenly, the roof above them began to shift, letting in more of the afternoon sun. The large man with skin as black as coal leered down at them for a moment, then disappeared for a second, returning with a long rope which he lowered down into the hole. "Grab the rope." He said, pointing at Jin. "Please."

Sawyer reached out his good arm to hold Jin in place. "Don't do it." He warned.

Her gun came into view first, and then Ana-Lucia stepped into sight pointing her weapon at Michael. "Climb the rope or I shoot your friend." Her words seemed to carry across the language barrier, because Jin gave in and made his way up the rope. "You next." She gestured her gun to Michael.

"Don't do it." Sawyer heaved himself to his feet and held Michael back. "She's bluffing. The gun's only got one bullet. She ain't going to waste it-" He was stopped mid-sentence when a sharp rock cracked against his temple, courtesy of Ana-Lucia. "OW! Sonuvabitch!"

"Hey!" Mia stepped in front of Sawyer. "What's your problem?"

"You don't listen; that's my problem." Ana-Lucia snarled down at her, pointing menacingly to the rope. "Climb it. Now."

Mia looked at Sawyer, who was now bleeding from the temple. Instinctively she reached for it and prodded it, to see how deep it was.

Sawyer flinched. "Just go, M," He muttered. "I'll be right behind ya."

Letting her hand linger on his skin only for a moment more, Mia grabbed at the rope and started to climb, digging her boots into the sides of the hole for support as she ascended to some fresh air. Michael was waiting for her at the top, offering his hand down to help her up. She took it, smiling gratefully at him, and cautiously looking around, expecting to see an army of Others. But there was only Ana-Lucia and the intimidating black man, who wasn't wearing a shirt so his bulging muscles seemed even larger. Mia waited by the edge of the hole to help Sawyer up; he'd need it with that arm, but Ana-Lucia just glanced down at him.

"You want me, Hotlips?" Sawyer jeered Ana. "You're going to have to come down here and get me –" She responded by closing the thatched roof.

Mia eyed Ana, hearing Sawyer's gruff mumble of '_bitch_' from the hole, and refused to move. "Let him up." She demanded.

Ana-Lucia just stared at her. "No."

Mia narrowed her eyes. "You let him up, right now, or else-"

"Or else, what?" Ana sneered, squaring herself right in front of Mia; challenging her. "Lady, I'm a cop. Get moving."

Mia smirked at the mention of her career. "Don't think that scares me." She pointed down at Sawyer. "Let him up _now_ or I will rip your throat out I swear to God." Her voice was quiet, but she knew her words had the desired effect, because Ana-Lucia responded by lifting the gun and pointing it directly between Mia's eyes.

"Move."

Mia didn't flinch. "You think this is the first time I've stared down the barrel of a gun? Sweetie, you couldn't _fathom_ the things that I've done." Her hands were balled into tight fists at her sides; she wouldn't back down, and it appeared Ana wouldn't either. It was just a matter of time-

"Mia!" Sawyer's voice hollered up from the dugout. "Just go." He caught her eyes when she stared down at him through the lattice roof, and nodded once, silently telling her it was okay. "Go."

With a final glare at Ana, Mia limped off after Michael and Jin.

They didn't go far, just to a clearing a few metres from the dugout where they met two other people, a tall, thin woman with shaggy blonde hair and kind eyes named Libby, and a cautious-but-friendly middle-aged, stocky man with thin, greying hair named Bernard. They also learned that the scary, muscled man was named Eko.

"So..." Ana-Lucia said, clearly the leader of this bunch. "You said you were on Oceanic 8-1-5?" She spoke to Michael.

"Yes," He said, reeling off his and his son's seat numbers. "We were all on it. The plane broke off in mid-air. We've been living at the beach; that's where we crashed."

"Where did you guys land?" Mia asked Libby, who seemed much less aggressive than Ana.

"The beach." She answered. "Must've been on the other side of the island." She gave Mia a brief smile.

Mia smiled back, thinking Libby was definitely not in the paranoid state of mind that Ana-Lucia was. "Look; he's hurt." Mia told Libby, nodding back to the dugout. "He needs a doctor; and we have one at our camp."

"No one goes anywhere." Ana-Lucia came right up to Mia's shoulder and craned her neck around so she looked her in the eyes. "You do what I say. You are following _us,_ do you get that?"

"No, I get that." Mia said with a big grin. "I get it. You're in charge, and I'm not about to start a fight with you." Her smile vanished. "But Sawyer is badly wounded and it's only getting worse." She took a step towards Ana. "And if he dies?" She let herself smile again. "Well... then a fight won't seem like such a bad option, now will it?"

"Ana, he's hurt. You know that, he was hurt when they came out of the water." Libby said reasonably.

"He's obviously not going to be any assistance fighting back or something if he can hardly walk." Bernard added.

Ana looked between them; visibly irritated by what she perceived as some sort of betrayal. She exchanged a look with Eko; who merely nodded once. With a loud exhale of breath, Ana turned away from Mia. "Let him up." She ordered Eko.

Mia trailed behind Eko as he went back to the dugout and lifted the roof again, tossing the rope down. "Grab it." He said to Sawyer.

"I ain't doing nothing 'til I know if my friends are okay." Sawyer's drawl reverberated out of the hole.

Mia smirked and stepped into view so he could see her. "We're friends now, huh?" She winked. "It's ok." She looked to Eko. "If he holds the rope will you help me pull him up?" She asked politely, not wanting Sawyer to further tear his wound. As scary-looking as Eko was, she hoped that he might have that friendly side to him that Libby and Bernard seemed to. He didn't answer her question, but he didn't decline, so Mia took that as a yes and nodded down to Sawyer. He looped his good arm around the rope a couple of times before Mia, with thankfully Eko's help, managed to lift him up out of the dugout.

"Howdy boys." Sawyer managed to muster a smirk at Jin and Michael. "Thanks for the rescue." He directed at Mia.

"Everything's cool." Michael assured him. "We had a talk and they believe we were on the plane, too."

"Swell, I guess we can all sue Oceanic together." He said sarcastically, hastily stuffing his hand in his pocket.

Ana-Lucia didn't miss his cagey move. "What you got there?" She approached him.

"Nothing." Sawyer replied too quickly.

Ana glared at him. "You got a rock? You looking for some revenge?" She held out her hand. "You've got 3 seconds to hand it over."

"Ana..." Eko said warningly, as if sensing something bad in the very near future.

"1, 2..." Ana's voice rose and grew fiercer as she counted.

Mia moved to step in front of her. "Now, hold on-"

Ana reared back and elbowed Sawyer solidly in the jaw, sending him straight to the dirt. And to add insult to injury; she pressed her boot on his shoulder.

"Hey!" Mia lunged for her, but felt the strong arms of Eko pull her back.

Sawyer grunted and groaned on the ground, glaring up at Ana with menace in his eyes. "You didn't say three." He deadpanned.

"Shut up." Ana stomped hard on his shoulder.

"Stop that!" Mia yelled, the wound was so easily infected, she was digging his grave by messing with it; and if she was a cop she was more than aware of what she was doing; it infuriated Mia, and this in turn seemed to infuriate Ana.

"You shut it, too," Ana snapped at her. "Like I said, _you_ are with _us_. When I tell you to do something, you do it - I say move, you move - I say stop, you stop. I say jump, what do you say?"

Mia cocked her head to the side and smirked. "I say you first, bitch."

A flicker of annoyance flashed across Ana's eyes, and she stomped on Sawyer's shoulder again, making him cry out so loud his voice echoed through the jungle. Ana seemed to like the way hurting Sawyer affected Mia, "You don't like the rules?" She raised her thin eyebrows. "I toss your ass back in the pit right now, you understand?"

"Yeah." Mia spat gruffly.

Ana kept her eyes locked into Mia as she stepped away from Sawyer and back to her people. Mia knelt to the ground and helped Sawyer to his feet; his arm was bleeding again and he was clearly in excruciating pain. "At least you're still walking." She said uselessly.

"Yeah, well I didn't get shot in the legs, now did, I?" He said, trying to appear in less agony than he obviously was.

"You need a hand?" Mia gave him that pitiful look again, unable to stop herself. He looked so wounded, emotionally and physically.

"I got it." Sawyer assured her, holding a hand up to keep her at bay. "By the way... you get in a fight with that one," He nodded his head up at Ana-Lucia. "My money's on you." He gave her a smile that made his cheeks dimple in that mischievous way.

"As well it should be." Mia smiled. "Come on, let's go." She tried to walk normally, ignoring the dull ache in her leg; she didn't need Michael and Jin to worry about two people who weren't one hundred percent.

Ana, now at the head of the group, took charge. "It's getting dark, we're moving out." She declared.

"Fine, then let's go. Just one thing, though," Sawyer limped closer to Ana. "I saw you hold that gun on her," He didn't bother pointing Mia out; he couldn't have been talking about anyone else. "You threaten her again, I'll kill you."

Ana just smiled, in an amused sort of way. "Let's go."

Mia fell into step by Sawyer, the two of them bringing up the rear of the group. "Even with a gunshot wound you still have to try and be a hero?" She muttered, kicking a large rock out of their path. "I thought you said I could take her."

"You can." Sawyer assured her, through a pained face and gritted teeth. "Don't mean I can't tend to some revenge of my own."

"Don't start that again." Mia said with a smile, saying it as a playful joke, but the words actually held much more meaning to Sawyer, and they both knew it. Sawyer's whole life had been about revenge; Mia didn't want to remind him of that. "She seems to be the only one with an attitude." She swiftly changed the subject. "The girl and that older guy, they agreed with me when I told her you had to get out of that hole."

"So, she's just got a stick up her ass for no reason?"

Mia shrugged. "Maybe she lost someone in the crash." She realized. "Maybe she really needed to land in LA... or maybe she's just a bitch."

"I'd go with that." Sawyer said, cringing as his foot stumbled on some leaf litter and caused his arm to move forwards, thus pulling at his injury. "Dammit." He grunted.

"Are you ok?" Suddenly Eko was standing right in front of them, having hung back to wait.

"Now you give a damn?" Sawyer muttered. "Certainly didn't care when you were beating me over the head with that." He nodded his head at the large stick in Eko's hand.

"I am sorry." Eko apologised, sounding completely sincere, which almost seemed out of character with the persona he projected. "It was a misunderstanding."

"A misunderstanding is when you bring me lemonade instead of iced-tea." Sawyer pointed out.

"I said: no talking." Ana-Lucia's annoyed voice yelled back to the three of them.

"He was talking to me." Sawyer replied; just as annoyed.

Libby hung back with Mia as Eko jogged up to talk to Ana, and the group continued on. "She wasn't always like this..." She said quietly to Mia.

"I find that hard to believe."

"Well... she's been tough since day one... but we've lost people..." Libby sighed. "Ana took it hardest; she's a cop, y'know, she thinks she should protect us all."

"We've lost people on our side, too." Mia said, a flash of Boone crossing her memory. "And none of us are like that."

Libby laughed dryly. "No offence... but, to be honest, you remind me of her."

"Never say that again." Mia said quickly, causing both her and Libby to smile. "How many of you are there, anyway?"

"Twenty-three." Libby answered. "How about you?"

"When we left, around forty." Mia replied, about to go into more questions about their survivors and how their life had been, when the group came to a sudden stop.

"We're here." Ana-Lucia announced.

"What are you going to do - beam us up?" Sawyer quipped tiredly.

Ana didn't even bother answering; she just pulled aside some of the thick vines hanging down from a thick oak tree; behind them was a thick, bunker door. A woman answered, pretty but as weathered-looking as everyone else. She wore a faded and ripped Oceanic airlines shirt and a black skirt that had once fit her perfectly, but now had succumbed to the environment and looked like a cheap rag wrapped around her body. She stepped, eying the newcomers as Ana led them all in.

It was dark; really dark. It reminded Mia of the caves, but there was more light there than in here. There was an odd symbol on the wall that Mia thought looked like some sort of military symbol of sorts; but it didn't ring any bells for her. Walking further inside, she spotted some blankets bunched up on the ground, scattered empty water bottles, and there was dirt tracked through the whole area.

Mia turned to Libby, her hands held out at her sides expectantly. "I thought you said there were twenty-three of you." She gestured to the vast emptiness of the bunker.

Libby looked completely shocked. "There _were_."

**xxx**


	21. Alter The Ending

**Chapter 21: Alter The Ending**

_(2x05)_**  
**

Mia never thought she'd actually miss being in that dugout; but being inside this weird bunker wasn't exactly that much better. In some aspects, it was worse. There was no sunlight, no fresh air, instead of dirt underneath her there was cold, hard cement, and there was very limited food – not that that was anything new.

Stifling a yawn, Mia turned her attention to Sawyer, who hadn't taken his hand off of his shoulder since they'd been shepherded into this hatch. "Lemme look." She demanded, not in the mood to play coy.

"I don't need you telling me how bad it is." Sawyer grumbled, shifting slightly so she could reach his arm.

"Then I won't say anything." Mia replied sternly, tentatively peeling away a layer of the makeshift bandage. She felt a sickening feeling in her stomach at what she saw, and was glad it was so dim in this bunker that Sawyer couldn't see it. His wound was turning purple. And not from bruising; from infection. That meant the infection could spread into his bloodstream, and if that happened he would be in serious, serious trouble. Letting out a very quiet breath, she placed the bandage back in position.

"What's my prognosis, Doc?" He smirked at her.

"Basic case of Jack-assery." She said in her normal voice. "Unfortunately; no cure for that."

"So I've heard." Sawyer mumbled. "Hey," He nodded up to where Ana, Eko, Libby and Bernard were clustered together in deep conversation, glancing at their prisoners every few moments. "What do you think they're talking 'bout?"

Mia shrugged. "Beats me."

"I think they're going to eat us." Sawyer deadpanned.

Ana-Lucia parted from the group and approached Sawyer, Michael, Jin and Mia. "All right, all of you get the hell up. We're moving out."

"Moving out where?" Michael asked.

"You're going to help us get food and water." Ana replied matter-of-factly.

"It is killing him to just _sit_ there," Mia said; pointing to Sawyer and rising to her feet. "He'll be no help searching for anything."

Ana really did not like being challenged. "Look, lady," She said through gritted teeth. "I dunno how your people do things, but over here, we do things together."

"So do we." Mia countered. "But we also have the sense to recognize when someone _injured_ needs to rest."

Ana didn't seem concerned. "He's going to have to do it because we have a long walk ahead of us?"

Michael positioned himself beside Mia. "A long walk where?"

Ana gave him what could almost pass for a hopeful look. "Back to where you came from." She pointed towards the entrance which apparently doubled as an exit. "Move. Now."

Michael helped Mia get Sawyer to his feet, and Jin kept close to his friends as they all followed Ana and her crew out of her bunker into the sunlight. Ana's cry of "all clear!" could be heard ahead of them and soon they were all back in the shade and fresh air of the jungle.

"Hey M," Sawyer whispered gruffly into Mia's ear. "I think we ought to stage a prison break here."

"Are you crazy?" Mia whispered back. "You can't move."

"Yeah, and I want to figure out what the hell's going on," Michael added quietly. "Before I make any decisions about anything."

Mia nodded in agreement with him. "I'm with Michael; we gotta figure out what's going on here before we stage any sort of breakout."

"Okay people, listen up!" Ana commanded from the head of the group. "We need to gather as much food and water as we can. You travel in pairs. You move as fast as you can. Don't make any noise."

Michael broke out in front of the group. "Maybe you could just take a minute to explain us what the hell is going on over here that's got you all so on edge."

"You know what?" Ana gave him a cold smile. "That's a great idea; maybe we can swap stories on the road."

"I'm going to go scout before we move." Eko volunteered; to which Ana nodded and told Cindy to go with him. "Libby, go see what fruit you can gather." She jutted her chin towards Michael. "Take him with you."

"His name is Michael." Libby said politely.

Ana's face seemed to soften, after all Libby was one of _her _people. "Yeah, right, Michael."

"Wait," Mia grabbed his forearm and held him back.

"I'll be okay," He assured her. "Don't worry."

"Bernard and I will gather the fish." Ana continued.

Jin, thrilled to hear a word he understood pointed to himself. "Fish." He said firmly.

"The man knows how to fish." Sawyer informed Ana. "I'd take him with you if I were you."

Ana seemed annoyed, but didn't want to appear a foolish leader when she had good resources at her disposal. "Fine," She waved at Jin to follow her. "He comes with us, too."

"What about me?" Mia asked.

Ana slowly turned around to her, "You're so concerned about your boyfriend there," She pointed to Sawyer. "You just volunteered to play nursemaid. You wait here 'til we get back," She swivelled to make sure Mia could see her gun sticking out of her jeans.

Huffing a rude insult under her breath, Mia plonked herself down next to Sawyer and just stared after Ana as she retreated into the jungle.

"She needs to be slapped." Sawyer grumbled, leaning back awkwardly against a tree trunk.

"Yeah, maybe," Mia was glancing around the space out the front of the bunker entrance. There were some limited supplies sitting around, including a canteen of water. "Here, I have to redress your arm."

Sawyer groaned loudly. "M, you don't _have_ to play nursemaid." He whined.

"Shut up and give me your arm." Mia didn't have any extra clothing in her shoulder bag, or anything to bandage up the wound, and she certainly wasn't going to ask Ana for any. Hoping that maybe Libby would come back first, Mia decided that maybe some fresh air might help Sawyer's wound. "Do you want something to bite down on?" She asked him as she reached for his bandage.

Sawyer smirked. "What are you offering?"

"I'll take that as a 'no'." She smiled and carefully untied her t-shirt-made-bandage. Even though he didn't make a sound, Sawyer's pain was written all over his face. He bit his lip, his face pinched in and tightened as Mia tried to touch him as little as possible. When the bandage was off, she unscrewed the lid of the canteen (giving it a sniff to make sure it was just water, it smelled like sea-water), and then poured it over Sawyer's gunshot wound.

"DAMMIT!" Sawyer growled loudly through gritted teeth. "Sonuvabitch!"

"Sorry," Mia said, carefully pouring more water onto the wound. "It's sea water, it's got salt in it so it'll sting a little; but that's good. Stinging means its killing the infection."

"God, just knock me out, why don't you?" Sawyer heaved huge, heavy breaths and tried to deal with the pain.

"If it comes to that, I will." She smiled, tossing the germy, damp bandage aside. It could just rot in the jungle for all she cared.

"Are you ok?"

"Fine." Mia answered quickly, thinking he was just trying to take his mind of the agony he was experiencing.

"No, I mean your leg," He said. "And your head, your side..."

"Superficial wounds, baby," She said with a wink. "It'll take more than that to take me down."

A gentle rustling through the nearby shrubs alerted Mia and made her jump to her feet; but she needn't have worried. It was just Eko, returning from his scouting mission. "Did you find anything?" She asked.

"No." He replied. "It should be safe for us to travel when the others return."

If it wasn't Libby, Eko might be the next best person to ask. Mia still wasn't sure what to make of him; but he'd apologized for hitting Sawyer, so maybe she would be open to helping her. "Hey, ah, do you have anything I could use to bandage his arm?" She nodded back at Sawyer. "Doesn't matter what as long as its relatively clean..."

Eko didn't say anything; he just retreated into the bunker.

"...or do nothing." Mia finished, sighing, looking back at a pathetic and miserable looking Sawyer. "Is there anything I can do?" She muttered uselessly, ambling back over to him and kneeling before him.

Sawyer laughed dryly and shook his head. "You're doin' just fine, Mayday." He panted.

"Wanna look down my top?" She asked with a cheeky grin.

Sawyer laughed, but it turned into a heavy cough. "Maybe later." He wheezed, closing his eyes and leaning back against the tree trunk behind him.

The creaking of the bunker door opening made Mia turn around. Eko was approaching her with a bottle in one hand and a crisp, white cotton cloth in the other. "Will these do? It's all we have left of medical supplies. Since we are leaving; you should use them."

Mia found herself smiling as she took the cloth and bottle, which she noticed was labelled peroxide. "Thank you." She nodded. "Very much."

Eko just nodded and left her alone with Sawyer, taking his large walking stick and sitting on a flat rock across the clearing, scribbling something onto the branch with the sharp edge of a rock.

"Now I can play nursemaid." Mia said to Sawyer, whose eyes were still closed. "Hey," She reached out and grabbed his shoulder, shaking him awake. "You ok?"

"Can't a man sleep?" He said groggily.

"No, not you. Not when you're hurt." Mia scowled, uncapping the bottle of peroxide. "Now this? This is going to hurt. A lot." She tipped the liquid over his skin. His whole body tensed up as he unsuccessfully tried to stifle a scream of pain through a clenched jaw. Mia then poured the last few drops of peroxide over her hands and ripped the cotton cloth into two shreds. The first she tied firmly around the wound, and the second she lengthened so it covered the wound and also more of his bicep, to keep the skin from tearing. She apologized when she was finished, cleaning her hands with what remained for the sea-water in the canteen.

"It's all good, Mia," Sawyer said through ragged, short breaths. "Thanks."

Mia sighed and leant back on her arms, stretching in the warm sun. "Why don't they head inland to look for fruit?" She wondered aloud; remembering Michael and Libby had head the way of the coast. "That's where we found food."

"We do not go that way." Eko spoke up suddenly, not taking his eyes from his scribing into his walking stick.

"How come?" Mia asked.

"Because that is where They come from." He said darkly.

"They?" Mia repeated. "The Others?"

"Others?" Eko looked up at her and narrowed his eyes.

"There was a guy who pretended to be one of us at our camp," Mia informed him. "His name was Ethan. He was one of Them. He kidnapped a pregnant friend of mine and almost killed the man who was with her."

"Are they alright?"

"Yes, now they are." Mia said. "But Ethan's dead. He was sent to take Claire away, sent by The Others."

"These... Others." Eko repeated. "They are the ones your friend believes took his son?"

Mia nodded.

"We had two children with us." Eko suddenly revealed. "A brother and sister." He stared at a spot on the ground for a few seconds, and then went back to scratching into his stick. "They were taken as well."

Mia didn't push the conversation; she'd gotten more out of him than she'd intended to. Kidnapping a pregnant girl, children... was there a connection?"

"What's all this talk?" Ana's voice cut in sharply through the jungle as she, Bernard, Cindy and Jin arrived with armfuls of fish.

"We can talk if we want." Mia said gruffly. "You can't control us all the time."

Ana just sneered and dumped the fish she was carrying on the ground, Bernard, Cindy and Jin followed suit, and then Jin knelt down and began to sort through them. Bernard seemed to think this was a good idea, and knelt down to help him.

Ana noticed the empty peroxide bottle and Sawyer's freshly bandaged arm. "Where'd you get that stuff?" She accused Mia. "You stealing from us?"

Mia climbed up to her feet. "Yes, I stole it. My whole mission was to come over here, steal a half-empty bottle of cheap peroxide and an old rag to try and fix my husband's arm. Arrest me."

"I gave them to her, Ana." Eko admitted. "We were going to leave them behind."

Ana didn't seem to want to bother arguing; but she obviously did not like the way Mia had spoken to her. "Next time; you ask, alright?"

Not bothering to tell the woman that she _had_ asked Eko, Mia just nodded and turned her back on her. She'd dealt with tough chicks like Ana before; the only way to get through it was to play along; let them think they were in control, even if it infuriated Mia to do so.

Eko seemed to be more level headed than Ana, and when she went to oversee the fish sorting, he came over to Mia and handed her a gruff looking hunting knife. "For your protection when we travel." He said, offering the handle to her first.

Mia smiled. "Thank you." She said, taking the knife and sliding it into the side of her belt. She was about to ask him if he had any other weaponry when Libby came running into the clearing looking bewildered.

Ana was first on her feet. "Libby, what's wrong?"

"It's Michael," Libby panted. "He just left."

Overhearing, Mia strode over to her. "What?"

Libby looked frantic. "He just said something and he went into the jungle." Her eyes were round and apologetic. "He's gone."

Ana looked down at Bernard and Cindy. "Pack up what you can; we're leaving now."

"What do you mean, we're leaving?"

"_Your_ buddy ran off into the jungle." Ana reminded her.

"Yeah, I know, but we stay together. That's what _you_ said; we stick together as a group." Mia said smugly. "We're not going anywhere without Michael."

"Mia!" Jin suddenly grabbed her hands, and spoke to her in frantic Korean, gesturing the jungle with both of his hands.

"What's he trying to say?" Bernard asked, gently pulling on Mia's elbow. "What's he saying?"

"Walt!" Jin cried. "Walt!"

Mia sighed in realization. _Of course…_ "He went after his boy." Mia said, turning to Libby. "Did you say anything to him that would make him run off?"

"I told him why we don't go further into the island; because that's where the other people come from; the ones who took our group…"

"They're the ones who took Michael's son – Walt." Mia told her suddenly worried. Michael was out there alone, without a weapon, more than likely running into enemy territory. Her army instincts began to kick in. She was a reconnaissance expert; bring people back safely. And right now 'people' meant 'Michael'. "We have to go after him."

"We're moving out now." Ana spoke as if she hadn't heard Mia. "Cindy, get the water. Libby, can you carry the radio?"

Sawyer had managed to heave himself up to his feet. "Wait, you have a radio? Does it work? Can you use it?"

"Wow, what a great idea!" Ana snapped in heavy sarcasm. She eyed him up and down; focusing on his wound. "You going to slow us down?"

"No!" Jin bellowed. "Michael."

"We're leaving before he can tell Them where we are."

"No, we're not going anywhere without Michael." Mia stood beside Jin. "It's too dangerous. You might be okay with losing people, but I'm not.

"M," Sawyer called to her, making her turn around. "What are we supposed to do, wait for him? He ain't coming back without his kid." His voice was almost desperate. "We gotta get back to our people… with or without Mike."

"If you say it's 'every man for himself', Sawyer, I am going to kick you." Mia hissed.

"It's the truth, sweetheart," Sawyer said gravely. "Mike's gotta worry about Mike, and I've gotta worry about me." he gestured to his injured arm.

"Well, I'm worrying about you, too." Mia countered. "And now I'm worried about Mike. But the difference is, Mike's alone. You're not."

Sawyer narrowed his eyes at her. "I don't want you out there, we don't know who's waiting for-"

"Exactly." Mia felt like they were on the same page; but still arguing. "We don't know who's out there. Which is why I have to find Mike and bring him back."

"_You_ have to find him?" Sawyer repeated. "Why you?"

"Because Jin can't speak English, and I know how to track, I can keep us from getting lost."

"I'm coming with you."

"You can't." Mia turned to Libby. "He should be fine, just don't let him run or slip or do anything to pull at his wound." Libby nodded, ignoring the sneer Ana was giving Mia.

"I don't need no baby-sitter!" Sawyer snapped, grabbing Mia by the elbow.

Mia pressed her lips together in a firm line. "I know that." She said tersely. "I just don't wanna see you on Death's door when I get back."

"If you're going, go!" Ana suddenly snapped. "We're leaving. Now!"

Jin moved to go into the jungle, but Eko stopped him. "Wait, please," The large man said, but he was stopped short when Jin's anger seemed to boil over and he just snapped; socking a fist into Eko's jaw. Eko retaliated by headbutting Jin, sending him straight into the dirt.

"Hey!" Mia cried, helping Jin to his feet.

"You are going the wrong way." Eko said to Mia pointing to the East, opposite to the direction Jin was headed. "That's where your friend was going. Towards Them." He handed Jin a stick, about half the size of the one he was cutting into earlier, and told him it was a weapon.

"What are you doing?" For the first time, Ana looked worried. Something wasn't going to her plan, and she didn't like it.

"I'm going to help them find their friend." Eko said calmly.

Ana-Lucia's face grew stony and blank. "We can't wait for you." She said in a low tone of voice.

"I don't expect you to." Eko said, almost apologetically. Then he turned, and headed into the jungle. Jin nodded at Sawyer, and then followed Eko, and Mia was right behind him.

"Wait, Mia, wait," Sawyer pulled her back again. "I… this ain't a good idea."

Mia sighed. He was worried about her, like she was about him. And he'd never say how worried he was; just like she never would, either. Communication was not a strength of their former relationship, and evidently they still struggled with it. "I'll be back." She smiled. "I promise."

Without another word, she followed Jin and Eko into the jungle, suddenly terrified at what might happen to Sawyer if she wasn't there to look after him.

**xxx**


	22. Common Sense Aside

**Chapter 22: Common Sense Aside**

_(2x05-2x06)_**  
**

Trekking was always easier for Mia in silence, and even having Jin and Eko with her, she still didn't come across any trouble. Jin couldn't exactly hold a conversation, and Eko seemed so intent on peering behind every tree and bend they came across that Mia didn't want to bother him with useless chit-chat. Instead, she tried to get a lay of _this_ land. It was similar to the jungle she was used to back on her side of the island; but there were obvious differences. The trees were thicker, the grass was longer, and there wasn't the faint, salty scent of the ocean on the breeze; they were too far inland for that.

The trio came to a clearing that looked out onto the horizon. The beach was far, far off in the distance, the deep blue of the ocean connecting with the lighter shade of blue of the sky. Between them was another ocean; but this one of trees and mountains. It was as though there was another island within the island; it was massive; and intimidating. Mia shared a look with Jin; one that crossed the language barrier and clearly stated they had no idea how they were supposed to find Michael in a place like this.

Focusing on landmarks to be able to trek back, Mia kept walking and was almost at Eko's side when he suddenly threw his arm out, causing her to walk right into it and stumble. "Wh-?" she started, but Eko held a finger to his lips to shush her. Then she heard it, steps crunching through the leaf litter up ahead. But they were light, and stationary, as if someone was moving around in the one spot.

Jin stood up by Mia, also hearing the noise. "Michael?" he said. Mia shook her head, but Jin hurried forwards. "Michael!" He cried.

"Jin, no!" Mia grabbed for his arm but he was already three steps in front of her.

Out of the bushes galloped a large, frantic boar and it barrelled right towards Jin, who jumped out of the way just in time but slipped and went tumbling down an incline.

"Jin!" Mia kept hold of Eko's arm for balance and peered over the edge of the cliff. It was more of a steep hill than a cliff, and Jin was at the bottom of it, getting shakily to his feet.

"Over there." Eko pointed to the right of where they were standing, to a safer way to get down to Jin and the pair of them jogged down.

"Jin?" Mia smiled as she approached him. "Are you hurt?"

Jin didn't answer; his eyes were staring at something up ahead. Mia looked and her breath caught in her throat. It was a body - a definitely dead body that had been expired for awhile. His skin was gray, his eyes were wide open and glassy, and he had a thick tree branch protruding obscenely from his middle; obvious the cause of his death.

"Oh..." Mia let out a low whistle. "Well, _he's_ definitely hurt." She deadpanned.

"His name was Goodwin." Eko said, coming up behind Mia and Jin.

"Others?" Jin pointed to the body and raised his eyebrows at Eko, who nodded in reply and then told them that they should continue on.

Mia left the body of Goodwin with a big question mark hanging over it. Eko had said he was one of the Others... or had he been one of the survivors who had been killed by The Others? Whatever the answer, Eko was definitely not in the mood to do any more talking. He resumed his vigilant exploration of the jungle, taking the lead and making sure Jin and Mia stayed just behind him.

After about ten minutes of silent trekking, Eko came to a stop by a small shrub Mia recognized as an Aloe Vera plant. He snapped off one of the long, sharp leaves so the aloe oozed out of the end and handed it to Jin. "For your cut," He instructed, pointing to the graze on Jin's forehead he'd obtained during his tumble down the hill.

"Here," Mia was used to playing nursemaid by now. She took Jin by the shoulder and made him sit down on a fallen tree log, holding the leaf just above his cut so the aloe dripped onto the wound.

Eko sat stiffly beside Jin on the branch, an attempt to seem friendly perhaps, and indicated the band on Jin's ring finger. "You are married? You have a wife?"

Jin nodded, understanding. "Yes. Her name... Sun." He smiled vaguely, and then pointed from his ring to Eko. "You?"

"No," Eko said emotionlessly. "And you..." He turned to Mia. "Are married to that injured man?"

Mia blushed ever so slightly. "Kind of..." She muttered, busying herself with Jin's cut. "We're... estranged. Separated, I guess... kind of." Their relationship had never really been easy to define.

"You care for him." Eko stated.

Mia gave him a withering look. "Sawyer's hurt. Badly. He needs our doctor; I can only do so much out here." She flicked her eyes to the massive expanse of forest around them.

Eko was silent for a few moments while Mia finished up with Jin, and then he said kindly. "I will take you back to your camp."

Mia cast a sideways glance at him. "What?"

"When we find your friend, Michael, I will take Sawyer back to your camp." Eko said mildly. "You are right. He needs a doctor. And we do not need more lives to be lost."

Mia wasn't sure what to say. "Thank you." She mumbled.

The three got back to their trek for Michael, continuing in a comfortable silence until the sun was shifting overhead, heating up the day. Mia drank from the bottle she'd been given on the sly by Libby as she'd left Sawyer at their camp, and she offered it to Jin who declined.

"Here!" Eko's voice broke through the silence. He took two strides forwards and knelt right down to the dirt. "There is a footprint here... a round heel."

Mia looked at the print over his shoulder. There were bright green leaves stamped into the print. "It's fresh..."

"Michael?" Jin asked.

"Yes." Eko looked to Mia. "_They _don't leave tracks." He said darkly before continuing on.

"They don't leave tracks?" Mia repeated, keeping right up next to Eko. "How is that even possible, they have feet, don't they?"

Eko suddenly stopped dead and grabbed Mia's arm, turning to her his eyes were wide, the whites of them almost blinding in fear. "Hide." He whispered under his breath, ducking down behind a rock and stealthily weaving through the brush, hollowing out a space tight enough to keep Jin, Mia and himself hidden without making too much of a dent in the shrub itself.

Mia was bursting to ask Eko why he'd made them hide, but she didn't have to wait long to find out. On the path they had been following, a trail of people suddenly wandered by. Mia counted eight sets of legs, two most definitely tiny enough to belong to children. They were dirty, and barefoot, and the last, and tiniest, set of legs was dragging a battered teddy bear along on a string.

The Others.

Mia held her breath; afraid even the smallest puff of air would alert them to the hiding place. She knew Jin was beside her, she could see him in her peripheral, but if she hadn't seen him she wouldn't have known he was there, he was as still as a rock.

It was a full ten minutes before they even dared move from their hiding place. Mia went first, being the smallest of the group and thus making the least noise as she exited the shrubs. As she stood on the path that The Others had walked, she suddenly felt quite exposed, as if They would all jump out with bows and arrows or slingshots or something. She rotated slowly in a circle, waiting for the sound of a foot crushing a twig, or an arm brushing against a flyaway branch; something to indicate they were being watched; but no such sound came, so she motioned for Jin and Eko to come out of hiding and join her.

Jin immediately set about on the path to follow The Others. "Michael." He said, pointing earnestly.

"No," Eko held up his hand to stop Jin. "They do not have him. They came from that way." He pointed back in the direction the Others had appeared from. "Michael went that way." He moved his finger further left; which just so happened to be up a hill. "He must have crossed just ahead of them... very lucky."

Jin seemed to understand this, and wanted to take charge. "You." He held a hand out to both Mia and Eko. "Go back. Help Sawyer. I go."

Eko immediately shook his head. "No, we go together." Jin was silent, but he nodded.

Mia smiled, Jack's mantra running through her mind. _Live together, die alone_...

**xxx**

Sawyer slugged one foot in front of the other as he trailed after Bernard. His arm was numb, the pain he'd felt when Mia redressed it was gone and he knew that was a bad thing. If it hurt; it was healing. That's what Mia had said; or something to that effect. He trusted her judgement; she had more medical expertise than he did. But suddenly he wished she was there; she was comforting. Even if she wasn't any good at hiding her worry on her face; if she was there, she was... there. He'd gotten used to her. Again.

"Stop." Ana-Lucia called at the front of her group, pulling Sawyer to a sudden stop. "Everyone take five," She nodded at Cindy. "Can I have your water?" The flight attendant handed the bottle over to her leader, who then wandered to the back of their group to Sawyer. "You keep slowing us down," She said, handing him the water. "We're going to leave you behind."

Sawyer sunk heavily down onto the ground, his legs throbbing from carrying his aching and exhausted body. "Go ahead, leave me behind." He said with a smirk, swigging from the bottle.

Ana turned her back on him. "Alright. See ya."

"Got a question for you!" Sawyer called after her. "Now that your tracker's gone; how are you gonna find our camp without me?"

Ana frowned and turned back to him. "Walk across the island, follow the beaches." She stared him down. "And Eko's coming back."

Smirking again as he took another drink of water, he asked her: "You married?"

Ana gave him a nasty look. "What?"

"Are. You. Married?" He asked more slowly.

"No." Ana replied curtly.

Sawyer laughed dryly. "Too bad, you seem suited for it."

Ana-Lucia's lips curled into an unfriendly smile. "Funny. You don't seem the type, but that chick called you her husband."

"Yes, ma'am." Sawyer said with a nod. "And that chick has a name. It's Mia."

"Yeah... Mia..." Ana repeated. "She always been a bitch?"

Sawyer knew she was trying to get a rise out of him; and he wasn't going to let it work. So he just chuckled lightly and forced himself to get to his feet. "Funny." He tossed the bottle back to Ana. "Let's go. What are we waiting for?" Using more strength than he knew he should be expending, Sawyer took the lead of the group and they started off again.

**xxx**

"We...are..." Mia turned around in a circle for the third time. "Officially lost."

"We are not lost." Eko countered.

He was right; she knew where they were, but what she meant was that they were making zero headway on the Michael situation. "We lost his trail." Mia slapped her hands at her sides.

"I'll retrace our steps." Eko volunteered, not waiting for a response and disappearing back into the shrubbery.

Mia sighed, and took the opportunity to take a break. They were right by a stream of fresh water, Jin was already digging in and scooping mouthfuls to his lips in his cupped hands. "Good?" She asked him, nodding at the water. He gave her a thumbs-up in reply. Grinning, Mia took her empty water bottle and filled it from the stream, and then she gave her arms and what she could of her legs a good clean. She'd thought her socks were white, but couldn't actually remember when she'd put them on; it was before they got on the raft... whenever it had been; they were brown now. She hoped she'd be able to peel them off her skin.

It was while pondering the horrific thought of having to use tweezers to detach her sock from the sole of her foot that she heard rustling in the trees in front of her and, even though she still had the knife Eko gave her, she felt under-prepared. Jin had heard the noise, too, and stood bolt upright. But neither of them expected to see the man they were searching for standing right there in front of them, looking tired, but generally okay.

"Michael!" Mia could have hugged him.

"What are you doing?" Michael asked in a stage-whisper as he crept towards them. "You have to go back."

"What?"

"Go back!" He ran straight passed them and continued crashing his way through the forest shouting his son's name.

"Michael; the yelling? Bad idea," Mia said as she jogged to keep up with him, Jin was right at her side.

"Go away!" Michael turned and snapped in her face. "I'm not going back without him." And then he took off again.

Jin gave Mia an urgent look; one that told her they needed to get Michael back; or at least keep him quiet. "I know," Mia said to him. "Come on," Together they ran after Michael, meeting up with him at a shallow waterfall.

"Walt! I'm here! Where are you, man?" Michael was screaming.

Jin bolted right to Michael and tried to shush him, holding his finger to his lips and gesturing all around him that shouting was not a good idea.

"What, you worried they're going to hear me?" Michael asked, then he turned to the forest and yelled. "Let them take me! Come! Come take me!"

"Shouting is not a good idea." Eko said firmly as he stepped seemingly out of nowhere and towards the waterfall. "You need to come back with us now."

Michael was adamant. "I am not leaving my boy out here!"

Eko advanced on Michael, his thick walking stick raised above him, as if he was going to hit him, but he didn't. He brought the stick down right in front of Michael's nose and spoke to him very quietly. "I know they took your son. But you have no idea what these people are capable of," Eko placed a firm hand on Michael's shoulder. "And they will not be found if they don't want to be."

Michael shrugged Eko off him, took a step back and just seemed to explode. "They took him right out of my hands - right out of my hands!" He tossed his arms out as far as they would go. "My own son!"

"I know, Michael," Mia said softly, taking a step towards him. "They took him out of my hands, too. I had him after they tossed you in the water, and they snatched him from me, as well." She blinked back guilty tears.

Michael was fighting back tears of his own. "I am _not_ going back without him." He said firmly, though his voice shook.

Jin moved closer to his friend, and rested a hand on each of Michael's shoulders. "You find Walt, Michael." He said calmly, squeezing his hands against Michael. "But... we must go." His eyes were earnest; and Michael took notice. When Eko took the lead back into the forest, Michael was right behind him.

**xxx**

Sawyer was glad the sun had completely set; no light meant Ana-Lucia couldn't see what she was doing; which meant they could rest, which meant he was able to try and keep himself from freaking out that he was going to lose his arm. He kept away from the tail-enders, not minding at all that he was the outsider but wishing he wasn't the lone one, and tried to get something that resembled sleep against a tree trunk. He could hear Ana and the flight attendant, Cindy, arguing.

"Ana, it's got to be over an hour," Cindy was saying. "Shouldn't we start moving again?

"Let them rest a little while longer." Ana said quietly.

"Yeah, but what if They come?"

Sawyer almost laughed. "She's lost." He said loudly.

"I'm not lost." Ana spat back indignantly.

"Then tell me, _Ponce de Leon_," Sawyer quipped sarcastically. "Which way are we supposed to go?"

Ana approached him; again making sure that her weapon was visible in her waistband. "Alright then, Genius. Where would _you_ go?

Sawyer frowned, attempted to shrug but then grimaced in pain. "Hey, I'm with you - sit tight and wait for Mr. Eko to show up and guide us."

"If your friend didn't run off, Eko would still be here now, wouldn't he?" She said accusingly. "And you sure didn't have any problem leaving your wife behind, though, huh? All she's been yacking about since we found you is how we gotta get you help; and the second she's gone you don't seem to care."

"She went to help Mike." Sawyer said defensively, annoyed that this time she attempt to rile him had worked. "And Mike only cares about himself and his kid, and neither's got squat to do with me."

"Glad you feel that way." Michael deadpanned as he lead the group up the hill to where Ana had created a makeshift camp.

"Didn't expect to see you again." Sawyer said, feeling his heartbeat slow when he saw Mia step out from behind Eko's sizable profile.

"Hey," Mia smiled and knelt right before Sawyer. "Your arm. How is it?"

"About to fall off." He replied, winching as she gingerly touched it. "What was it like out there?"

Mia just pursed her lips together and shook her head; indicative of her when she was evading a question she didn't want to answer.

"M, what did you see?" He persisted, raising his eyebrows. "Them?"

Sighing, Mia looked him right in the eye. "Yeah. _Them_." She then went on to explain how strangely they'd been dressed, the children, and the creepy teddy on a string. Meanwhile, Eko was informing Ana of the same facts, and was urging them to move on.

Ana heeded his warning. "Alright; we're moving out. Now!" At her command; everyone got to their feet; grumbling and groaning at their own aches and pains.

Mia reached her hand down to help Sawyer to his feet; but noticed she didn't have to. He had eased himself into a standing position by pressing up against the tree trunk he'd been leaning on. "See?" He gave her a smug look. "Don't need ya for everythin', now, do I?"

Smiling tensely, Mia nodded. "Just keep that confidence for one more day, alright?" She set her hands on her hips, knowing he was just trying to prove to her that he was better than he seemed.

"That offer to look down your shirt still on the table?" He asked coyly as he limped passed her, eying her chest as he did so.

Mia shoved his unhurt shoulder as she followed him. "Baby, it was never really on the table." She whispered cheekily as they brought up the rear of the group.

"Cruel." Sawyer grumbled, unable to hide the smile from his face, even with the agony throbbing in the veins of his shoulder.

**xxx**


	23. The Ice Is Getting Thinner

**Chapter 23: The Ice Is Getting Thinner**

_(2x06)_

Now with Michael back with them on their trek home to camp, Mia turned her attention to Sawyer. His arm was getting worse; and she knew because he became more insistent in telling her that he was fine. She stopped asking the question; but didn't stop worrying. And now that they were moving; she didn't have the comfort – or whatever it was – of that eerie bunker. At least there she'd been able to tend to his wound; now all she could really do was make sure he didn't fall over. She kept behind him, bringing up the rear. Jin kept close to Michael up ahead; as if worried he might duck off again in search of his son.

The sky was a radiant blue; but Mia could see dark, purplish clouds forming in the distance. A storm was on its way; most definitely. She hoped they would get back to their camp before then; because rain on Sawyer's wound would _not_ be a good situation.

As if he was mentally hearing her worries, Sawyer suddenly dropped down to one knee, stumbling on some unsteady rocks on the path. "Dammit!" He cursed.

Mia knelt at his side, ignoring the pain in her leg; there was no time to worry about her own injuries. She was walking; Sawyer was not. "Lemme see."

"It's fi-"

"Stop it!" Mia cut in sharply. "Let me see it. _Now_."

Too tired to argue, Sawyer stayed knelt on the ground and let her inspect it.

"Want me to take a look?" Libby asked politely, kneeling beside Mia and taking out her water bottle.

"Are you a doctor?" Mia asked in jest, but was surprised with Libby's answer.

"Clinical psychologist, actually." She smiled, handing Mia her water.

"Maybe you should talk to me shoulder?" Sawyer tried to smile; but it just came out as a grimace.

"Are _you_ a doctor?" Libby asked Mia. "You seem to have some sort of medical training."

"No, not a doctor." Mia answered, gently tightening the bandage around Sawyer's arm, the action causing him to stifle a painful grunt. "I was in a branch of the army... I know basic First Aid for when soldiers get wounded in the field, but," She shook her head. "I'm not really any use."

"I'm still here, ain't I?" Sawyer reminded her.

"How'd you get shot, anyway?" Libby asked, offering him her water bottle as well.

"With a gun." He smirked, taking her offering and swigging down a few mouthfuls.

"He got shot when they took my kid." Michael said, alerting them to the fact the whole group had stopped to wait for them. Ana-Lucia did not look pleased, but as Libby was helping Mia and Eko was definitely aligning himself with Jin and Michael; she seemed to be just going along with it to avoid unnecessary confrontation.

Mia carefully peeled back a layer of Sawyer's bandage, and swallowed hard. The wound was so purple it was almost black; infection had definitely set in.

"It's bad, right?" Sawyer asked; reading the worry all over her face.

"Yeah, it's bad." Mia nodded; but then she made herself smile. "But it's not real bad. C'mon, you're going to be okay." She extended her arm down to him; which he took, gripping her forearm in his hand, and heaving himself up. "Let's go." She allowed him to walk forwards ahead of her, noticing how he kept his head down, avoiding the concerned looks he was getting from Michael, Jin, Libby and Bernard. If there was one thing Sawyer was; it was proud. He wouldn't want anyone to help him; he'd want to do everything himself. He was resilient to the end; and in his current state, Mia found that quality frightening.

Mia slowed down her walk so Sawyer was still at least leading her; she thought maybe if he felt like he wasn't at the end of the line, he wasn't as much of a burden. And every now and again; when they came to a bit of rise on the track, he would offer his good hand down to Mia, to which she'd decline with a retort about not needing a man's help, and he would just chuckle as much as he could muster.

They came to the coast at around midday; and though Mia was grateful to see the water, the terrain was much more treacherous. The trees were gone, and the soft ground was replaced with hard, sharp rocks that jutted out on bizarre angles. Mia had to watch every step she took; afraid that the rock she'd step on would have nothing underneath supporting it and just crumble underneath her boot.

"Careful up here!" Ana called over her shoulder as the rocks they trekked on narrowed out.

From where Mia could see, there was a huge gap between where they were standing and where they had to be, about five metres away, and in between them was the ocean, thrashing violently against the rocks fast, and menacingly loud.

The group milled together and looked hopelessly at the giant gap in their road. "Way around?" Mia asked, looking up.

"We'd have to backtrack..." Ana-Lucia said, marking the closest thing the two of them had had as a civil conversation. "We'll have to climb over."

"How?" Libby asked worriedly.

"Here." Ana pointed to the rock wall that the waves were crashing up against. Across it was a thin, platform like piece of sheet-rock that looked like a small ledge. It went from one side of the rocks they were on, to almost the other side. They'd have to jump half a foot or so; but it was doable. That was, if everyone was in perfect, working order.

"Too dangerous." Mia said automatically.

"It's the only way, you wanna lug your husband around these rocks?" Sneer back in place, Ana gestured up to the huge rock wall they would have to scale to get around.

"I can do it, Mia." Sawyer muttered gruffly. "Let's just move."

"I'll go first." Ana volunteered. "Then Eko; you help everyone else across, ok?"

"Ok." Eko nodded.

Mia heard Cindy mutter what bad idea this was, and she had to agree, but it was also the best idea if they wanted to get back to camp quickly. And she needed to; Sawyer needed to.

Ana tossed her bag across the large gap; it landed safely on the other side. She squared her gun in the centre of the back of her waistband and edged her way onto the ledge. It was wide enough for her feet to be able to point towards the ocean if her back was tight against the rock. She moved slowly, but stealthily making it look easy. Within two minutes she was on the other side. "Ok, Cindy, come on."

"Me?" Cindy looked quite affronted. "I-I don't..."

"I'll go." Libby offered Cindy a smile. "It'll be alright, Cindy." Following Ana's lead, Libby chucked her bag across the gap, Ana caught it gracefully and waited by the edge of the rock for her friend. Libby was much more tentative than Ana had been. Eko offered her his arm; which she took eagerly, and clung to him as she decided to cross the ledge with her face against the rock rather than with her back to it. There were small gaps in the wall that she could cling to so, when Eko let her go, she managed to shift herself, inch by inch. It was about double the time it took Ana, but no one complained. After Ana helped Libby over the final jump to safety, she looked towards the ragged looking flight attendant. "Come on, Cindy. You next."

The custom continued, Cindy tossed her bag over, and then took Eko's arm as she followed Libby's method of hugging the rock wall across the ledge. Twice she stopped to catch her breath as the waves crashed heavily into the wall; splashing up and spraying her with sea water, but she kept her cool, and almost jumped right into Ana's arms when she reached the end.

Mia was waiting by Sawyer, but then realized she was getting a Look from Bernard. "You can go next." She said with a smile.

Bernard looked from Eko to Michael to Jin to Sawyer and then back to Mia. "It ought to be you really going." He said bashfully.

Mia furrowed her eyebrows. "Why?"

"Well," He was a little flustered. "Because we're all," He gestured to the men. "And you're-you're a..."

Mia rolled her eyes. He meant because she was a woman. He wasn't being sexist; or at least not intentionally, it came off as just good, old-fashioned chivalry; but still Mia had no patience for it. "Look," She turned him around by his shoulders and nudged him towards Eko. "We can discuss sexism in survival situations when we're all over the other side, okay? Just get over there, and be careful."

Bernard gave her a wobbly smile, but took Eko's arm and stepped out onto the ledge, chucking his bag over to Libby before he made the first step.

"You before me, M," Sawyer muttered in her ear as Bernard edged his back along the wall.

"Nuh-uh, age before beauty," She smirked.

"I'm serious; you go before me."

"What if you fall in? I don't feel like getting back in the ocean again." She joked. "Last one to raise both their arms has to go first." She flung both her arms up over her head; while Sawyer gave her a withering look, not even bothering to move his limbs.

"Fine..." He grunted. "I'll go first... but you come right behind me."

Mia rolled her eyes again. "Fine." She agreed; smiling when she saw Bernard triumphantly jump onto the safety of the other side. Mia slid off her bag and tossed it across to Libby, who caught it easily.

Sawyer, who wasn't carrying anything but his arm, inched closer to the outcrop, ignoring the waves crashing louder and stronger against the rock. He edged out about two footsteps before he turned around. "Come on" He nodded to Mia.

Sighing, Mia stepped out onto the ledge with a little help from Eko, and crept across until she was almost touching Sawyer's shoulder. "Ready?" She asked him, raising her eyebrows.

Sawyer just nodded. "Be slow." He told her, as if she needed the reminder.

Mia wanted to get to the other side as fast as possible; but she knew she just couldn't with Sawyer struggling with his arm. So instead of focusing on the thrashing waves beneath her; she kept her eyes on Sawyer's shoulders; they were right in front of her eyes and she didn't shift her vision as she slid her feet across the thin ledge.

The loud, screeching call of a seagull from seemingly nowhere made Mia's heart jump into her throat; and her left foot gave way. "Oh!" She gasped, grabbing for Sawyer as she slipped.

"I got ya - grr!" Sawyer grunted, having snatched her hand with his injured arm, his face was a mixture of worry and intense pain as he gripped Mia's wrist. "_Sonuvabitch_." He hissed.

Mia regained her footing, but didn't let go of Sawyer's arm. "I'm sorry." She said quickly; already seeing blood seeping through the bandage on his arm; he'd torn the wound open again. "Oh, dammit, I'm so sorry."

"Forget it, just keep moving." Sawyer managed to put one foot in front of the other and keep them moving along.

Bernard was waiting with outstretched arms for Sawyer, who used his good arm for leverage and managed to jump over the gap in one leap; but when his feet were firmly planted on solid ground again; he fell right to his knees. Mia jumped across the ledge and knelt right beside him. "Shit, shit, shit," She kept repeating, already unwrapping the bandage on his arm. He was already in so much pain; what she was doing didn't seem to bother him; at least not any more than he was already bothered.

"Here," Bernard squatted beside Mia and rummaged through his backpack for a handkerchief. "It's clean, I promise."

"Thanks," Mia took the handkerchief and tore it in two.

"It's infected." Bernard stated.

"What, you a shrink, too?" Sawyer almost laughed at him; but the pain was too great for him to do anything other than write in agony.

"A dentist. I know infection." Bernard was unscrewing the top of his water bottle. "It's sea water." He told Mia as he handed it over. I use it on cuts and scrapes. Better than nothing, right?"

"Thanks," Mia smiled, taking the water and pouring it over Sawyer's wound again. It was literally like putting a band-aid on a bullet wound. What Mia was doing was treating the outer wound; what she could see; but she knew from infection that there were much more dangerous consequences of this wound charging through sawyer's body. He needed medicine; antibiotics... he needed Jack. A dentist, a shrink, and a former SRF agent did not a good doctor make.

Michael and Jin made it safely across the ledge, as did Eko, who pulled Ana aside as soon as he was safe. Everyone seemed to simultaneously decide that it was time for a break, and all sat, drinking from water bottles and catching their breath.

"Maybe he should lay down?" Bernard suggested to Mia, his eyes flicking from Sawyer's wound up to the sun which, even though there were still storm clouds on the horizon, was beating down on them.

"No, no he shouldn't sleep." Mia said quickly. "Not yet."

"Alright everyone!" Ana announced. "Five minutes; then we move inland."

"Inland?" Cindy repeated. "I thought the whole point of going around the coast was to _avoid_ going in there."

"This will lead to a peninsula ahead." Eko told her, nodding up to the path ahead of them. "It may not be as passable as this one was."

Mia knew he was doing this for her, or for Sawyer, she knew cutting inland would be faster, and so did Eko, but he was the one with the friendship, or whatever it could be called, with Ana-Lucia, so he would be the only one to convince her.

"Ana..." Libby's eyes were wide with fear and she shook her head; definitely not wanting to head into the jungle.

"We'll keep as close to the coast as possible, but," She glanced to Eko. "He's right... it's faster if we go through the jungle."

They waited five minutes exactly, and then Ana herded everyone over the rocks and back into the jungle. Mia wasn't thrilled to be back in the forest, but it was definitely cooler and easier to traverse through than the rocky cliffs they had just come from. But with the change of scenery came a much more vigilant and on-edge Ana-Lucia. She panicked at the slightest noise they made crushing through the trees. They moved slowly; slower than Mia would have liked, every step had to be carefully placed to make as little sound as possible.

Ana's anxiety spread through her group, when Libby stood awkwardly on a twig, Cindy shushed her with fearful eyes, begging her to be more careful. Jin was hanging back with Sawyer and Mia, anticipating that Sawyer would need more help the further they walked; and he was right. Every few steps Sawyer would stumble, thankfully not loud enough to alert Ana who was leading up ahead, but enough to make Mia and Jin nervous.

"I'm fine." Sawyer grunted as Jin tried to help him.

Jin looked furious and started loudly expressing himself in Korean, loud enough for Ana-Lucia to hear, and it caused her to come swiftly to their group and telling them in harsh whisper to shut the hell up.

"What? They can't talk at all?" Michael asked, parting from Bernard's side to join his friends.

Ana pointed accusingly at Jin. "If he talks he's going to get us all killed."

"By what?" Michael countered. "_Them_? I thought they lived a day back that way?" He jeered his head back the way they had just come from.

Ana winced, angered at him disputing her leadership in any form. "How about you shut your mouth and get your buddy over here moving?" She jabbed her thumb at Sawyer.

"What happened to you people?" Michael snapped. "You want us to take you back with us? Fine. But you want me to keep quiet then you need to tell me why I have to." His face was serious, and Ana took the hint.

Sighing, Ana-Lucia began the tough speech. "They came the first night that we got here." She told the group, although her people already knew this information and just looked glum. "They took three of us. Nothing happened for two weeks, then they came back. They took _nine_ more." Ana squared her jaw, her obvious guilt at losing so many of her own people evident in her dark eyes. "They're smart, and they're animals, and they could be anywhere at any time. Now we're moving through the jungle - _their_ jungle - just so you can save your little hick friend over here." She sneered at Sawyer. "And if you think that one gun and one bullet is going to stop them - think again. So shut your mouth and keep moving."

"They took my son." Michael reminded her, his voice intense and petrified at the same time.

Ana's eyes clouded in darkness, but she didn't look at him. "They took a lot of things." She mumbled. "Let's keep moving."

Jin wouldn't take 'no' for an answer; and forced Sawyer's good arm around his shoulders, helping him walk along. Even with Jin's help, Sawyer struggled to keep his feet moving in time. He kept stumbling, always fighting to stay upright. His breathing was becoming more and more laboured, and his arm was hanging limp at his side. Mia kept behind him; waiting for the inevitable. It was only a matter of time before he collapsed; in truth she hadn't thought he would last this long.

Michael fell back to Jin and offered to take Sawyer for awhile. "Take a break." He told his friend; but Jin vehemently declined.

The arguing rattled Sawyer. "What?" He spat wearily at Michael. "You suddenly give a damn about me?" He un-looped his arm from around Jin's back and steadily stood on the spot. "Leave me alone; both of you."

Chewing her lip, Mia waited back with Jin and Michael as Sawyer trudged forwards. He'd only taken three steps before he collapsed.

"Hey, hey," Mia rushed to his side and turned him over onto his back. "Sawyer?" She pulled his head into her lap, his eyes were fluttering like he was being blinded by light. "Hey, can you hear me? Are you ok?" She felt his forehead; it was raging with a temperature, and he was sweating profusely. It was obvious to her that he was struggling to stay conscious. "Sawyer, talk to me, come on," She urged him, resting her hand on his cheek; feeling the heat emanating from him.

"I would have left you behind..." He said tiredly to her, barely able to keep his eyes open. "I'm sorry... I did leave you behind."

"Yeah, well it's a good thing I'm not you, then, isn't it?" She smiled, and he managed a small smile back, but then his eyes unfocused and his mouth fell open. "Sawyer, hey?" She jostled him; but his eyes closed. "No, Sawyer, stay awake!" She shook him harder; feeling his pulse racing; but he was definitely unconscious. "No, no, no." She said, clutching his body in her arms, glaring up at Ana-Lucia who was staring down at her with only a minuscule amount of remorse in her brown eyes. "If he dies..." Mia warned. "You're next."

**xxx**


	24. Life Starts Now

**Chapter 24: Life Starts Now**

Cradling Sawyer's head in her lap, Mia demanded water. His forehead was on fire and the temperature spread across his hollowed cheeks. His body was exhausted; Mia knew that. His heart was beating, albeit faster than what would make her comfortable, and he was breathing; but his body needed to recuperate. And when the body needed to lie down; it didn't care where you were or what you might land on.

"Here," Libby squatted beside Mia and handed her a full water bottle.

"Thanks," Mia said hastily grabbing the bottle and tilting it towards Sawyer's chapped lips. The liquid just seemed to well in his mouth and spill out the side. "Come on," She urged him, pouring more slowly. "Drink."

"What's the matter with him?" A concerned Michael knelt down on one knee in front of Mia, his presence a sign of assistance if she needed it.

"The infections, fever, dehydration," Mia answered clinically, her voice almost monotonous. "Pick one. It could be anything."

Three loud strides through the tall grass later and Ana-Lucia appeared, sour face glaring down at Mia clutching her husband. "We gotta keep moving." She instructed the group.

Michael rose to his feet. "What?"

"We gotta keep going." Ana repeated more urgently.

Jin stood by Michael and sharply shouted at her in his native tongue; his point seeming to get across to her, but not having any effect.

"You want stay, that's fine." She gestured to her own people. "But we're rolling out."

"We can't just leave him, Ana." Bernard tried to reason with her.

Libby nodded. "Maybe if we just rest a little while, he'll regain consciousness."

"Rest?" Ana said, dark eyebrows raised in surprise. "Here? Do you remember what happened to us? What _they_ did to us?" She lowered her voice. "You remember Goodwin?"

Cindy looked visibly agitated. "Ana's right, maybe we should just push on."

"Hey!" Mia shouted from the jungle floor; her heart sinking a little lower – she'd hoped her shrill voice would stir her unconscious husband. "You know what? We don't remember Goodwin! And I'm sorry if something happened to him, but to be honest, I could not care less. Sawyer needs help _now_. You want us to take you to our camp? Then we all go together. And Sawyer comes, too."

Ana didn't seem to want to argue with her anymore. "You're going to carry your friend." She stated, already turning her back to face her.

"Yeah; we'll carry him." Mia snapped back, although it didn't seem to be of much use.

"Eko," Michael looked to the large man. "Can you help us make a stretcher?"

"We'll need sticks," Mia added. "Sturdy ones, about, ah, five feet long."

"I'll go look." Bernard offered, setting his backpack beside Mia and backtracking the path they had just came from.

"Stick together." Mia told Eko, Michael, Bernard, and Jin as they dispersed on the lookout for the items they needed. Libby stayed with Mia, inspecting Sawyer's wound as she tried to get him to drink the water.

Libby winced as she checked out Sawyer's skin; it was turning a weird, infected shade of dark purple. "Maybe we should wash it out?"

"No," Mia said, her voice that strange, catatonic tone again, as if her mouth was just a speaker for medical information. "It might just flush the bacteria further inside. If he were in the ocean or lying on his stomach; maybe, but not when he's lying like this. Besides he's dehydrated; the water needs to go into him; not onto him."

Libby just nodded, not sure what to say. "You two are married?"

"Yes – no. Technically, yes but..." Mia didn't bother finishing the sentence; instead she tried to rearrange Sawyer in her lap so his head didn't lean on her leg in such a way that it made it numb. "We'll need four of us to carry him, at least... and I know the terrain near our part of the beach pretty well; and it's rough for just one person..."

"You care about him." Libby stated.

"What?"

She pointed to herself. "Clinical psychologist. I can read people; it's kinda my job."

"Of course I care about him," Mia said bitterly. "I married him. And apparently he can be as big an asshole as he wants; and I'll still care." She felt her face set in a stony, expressionless glare. "And I will not let him die – I won't let him die here."

**xxx**

Carrying Sawyer was as difficult as Mia expected; probably more. Even on a perfect, top-of-the-line stretcher it would have been tricky; but with the bamboo straps hastily wrapped around uneven sticks and vines laced together to create a hammock; it made things considerably harder. Mia had never even used a stretcher out in the field before; only in training runs, bolting back and forth from the chopper with Rork jogging along side her. That had been fun... the complete opposite of what she was going through now.

To make matters worse; the skies opened up and let out violent, heavy sprays of rain across them. As Mia trudged up an embankment, Michael at her side helping pull the front of the stretcher, Jin and Eko holding up the rear, she thought how bad this water raining on Sawyer's wound would be; it would spread the infection; but she had no way to staunch it. All her clothes were saturated; everyone's were. She was out of options; the only thing she could do now was heave his body back to Jack and get him dry; and even that wasn't a guarantee to saving his life.

The roar of the rain droned out whatever directions Ana-Lucia was trying to bellow at them; so Mia just kept behind Bernard as close as she could, being a one-of-four procession, and didn't even look up to check out her surroundings. Mia was strong, physically, she always had been. Freakishly strong, Bree liked to call her as it had taken her a few years to grow into her strength – she'd been a scrawny child, but carrying Sawyer was pushing her to her limits. He was just solid weight – Mia refused to think of him as the term 'dead weight' – a good 150 plus pounds, and she had to keep him up off the ground; he couldn't do any more damage to his wound.

Mia was starting to wonder if worrying about his wound served a purpose anymore. Was there a point where enough damage had been done? She didn't think it could get worse. And when she and Michael had to try and hold Sawyer vertically in the stretcher as the group climbed up a steep, ragged cliff, she considered dragging him might be easier. Pausing at the top of the cliff with Eko, Jin and Michael to catch their breath; she dismissed this dragging option immediately. Yes, it was easier, but it would cause Sawyer more pain when he woke up – and he _would_ wake up.

Ana came back, and Mia thought at first it was her attempt to check on them, but the worry in her eyes alarmed Mia right away. "Where's Cindy?"

Mia's eyes had been firmly stuck on the ground watching one sodden foot lurch in front of the other; she hadn't seen the flight attendant since Sawyer had collapsed. "She's gone?"

"Cindy!" Ana yelled over the cliff-face, her eyes darting around for her friend. "CINDY!"

"She was just here!" Bernard said; worriedly jogging back to the group; Libby right behind him.

"Did they take her?" Libby asked to no one in particular as Ana kept shouting Cindy's name.

"How could she just be gone?" Michael panted, looking back the way they had just lugged Sawyer.

"I'm going after her." Ana declared.

"No!" Eko grabbed her arm. "We stay together - we split up, we give them what they want."

Ana sneered, pulled herself out of Eko's grasp and rounded her attack on Mia. "This is all your fault. We never should have gone through the jungle. You risked our lives to save him," She jabbed a finger towards Sawyer. "And he's already dead!"

Mia didn't hold back; she let her fist curl into a tight ball and then swiftly whipped it up and cracked Ana across the cheek, hearing the snap of a bone under her fingers.

Ana recovered fast, drew her gun and aimed it straight at Mia's heart, so close it was touching the damp cloth of her shirt. "Bad idea, Bitch." She snarled.

"Ana!" Libby admonished her sharply.

Mia could take the gun from Ana's hands and pull her arm down, and head butt her in all of two seconds, but before she even made one move, she heard something.

Whispers.

Whispers that sounded like they were right at her ear, but that also echoed through the jungle mingling with the sound of the pouring rain. Wordless whispers; each sounding almost like a full word, but ending and running into another before the first could be deciphered. And Mia knew she wasn't the only one hearing these whispers.

"What the hell is that?" Michael screamed over the noise of the downpour, his face as shocked and confused as everyone else; everyone who was hearing the whispers.

Ana aimed her gun away from Mia and into the jungle, jerking it harshly as the whispers seemed to come from all around them.

Libby's eyes bulged out of her peaceful face; fear screaming from her expression. "Oh, God!" She mumbled in a strangled voice.

Ana lowered her gun; the whispers getting louder, knowing that standing still was the worst option. "Run!" She was pushing Bernard and Libby ahead of her less than a second later.

Mia, and Michael picked up Sawyer with Jin and Eko and the group tried as best they could to run through the slippery jungle and stabbing tree branches that smacked them all in the face as they moved. They were well behind Ana, Mia knew that, but at least they were together. The five of them. Mia still felt safe.

That was until she heard the gunshot.

Even with everything muffled due to the rain, the piercing crack of a bullet being fired was one Mia could identify in any weather.

"What was that?" Michael asked; stopping in his tracks just as Mia did, Jin and Eko also stalling behind them.

"Gunshot." Eko said simply, lowering his end of Sawyer's stretcher to the ground and running up ahead.

"Wait!" Mia called after him; they needed his uber-masculinity to move Sawyer.

"We can do it." Michael assured Mia, retreating back to help Jin with the back end of the stretcher; it was heavier.

Mia felt the lack of Eko's help immediately when she heaved the two sticks up onto each of her shoulders and tried to move forwards; she had to push her feet in deep to the slick ground to get the footing to even push off; but even once she was moving it was only slightly easier.

Along the moved until Mia saw the thick, legs of Eko standing stoic up ahead of her. Letting her eyes drift upwards, Mia saw what had him so unmoving.

Sayid; clutching Shannon's lifeless body in his arms, murder in his heart channelling through his eyes towards Ana-Lucia, who stood open-mouthed before him, slowly lowering her gun.

**xxx**


	25. Never Simple Never Easy

**Chapter 25: ****Never Simple Never Easy**

Mia's mouth fell open; rain spilling down her cheeks mimicking tears she would have cried if she wasn't so exhausted from carrying Sawyer. Her eyes were focused on Shannon, looking so frail, dead, in Sayid's muscled arms. She looked even younger than she was; she looked just a child. The stricken expression of horror and heartache on Sayid's face didn't move as he lowered Shannon's lifeless form to the ground, stood to his feet, removed a gun from his waistband and aimed it right at Ana-Lucia.

"Sayid! No!" Michael lowered his section of Sawyer's stretcher and ran out to try and stop their angered friend, but Eko got to him first; tackling him to the mud.

Mia gestured to Jin to lower Sawyer to the ground. She didn't know where to go, to Sayid, to Shannon, to Ana; who looked shocked and rooted to the spot in disbelief. Her show of emotion didn't last long, however, and she cracked Sayid over the back of the head with the butt of her gun, knocking him out cold, and snatching his weapon up out of the dirt.

"Hey!" Michael, who had been approaching Ana, suddenly backed off, arms raised as Ana pointed both guns at him, and then at Mia, then Bernard; everyone.

"Nobody move!" Her eyes were wild and dangerous; she was at her very edge. "Don't move! Any of you! Nobody _move_!"

Everyone stayed still, Mia glanced to her feet, Sawyer's head was right by her boot, and she resisted the urge to kneel down and feel his forehead to see if perhaps the rain beating down had lessened it slightly. Instead, she waited. She knew better than to rattle someone who was already at their limits. Her mind clicked back into SRF mode.

She had an injured man who was in desperate need of help, a dead young woman, and a highly emotional policewoman with two weapons who was frazzled enough to turn the guns on her own group. Now was not the time to be hasty, or try to be a hero. She had to go with what Ana said; Ana had the control.

"Does he have anything else on him?" Ana asked Eko, pointing one gun at Michael and one at Bernard; who looked as though she'd slapped him across the face.

Eko looked at her, confused. "What?"

"Him!" She yelled down at Sayid's unconscious body. "He just had a gun to your neck! Check to see if he has anything else on him!"

Eko, who was taking the same passive approach as Mia, knelt down to check Sayid for more weapons.

"Hey," Michael said softly, taking a daring step forwards. "Put that down."

"Michael," Mia mumbled loudly, wanting to reach out and pull him to a stop.

"Stop!" Ana pointed a gun at him.

"Are you crazy? Don't point that at me!" Michael's already weathered brow creased in anger.

"I said stop!" Ana bellowed; aiming her gun up to the sky and pulling the trigger; the sound reverberated through the dripping jungle trees and silenced everyone. "Everyone get back!"

"Ana!" Bernard cried.

"Get back!" She pointed the gun to Bernard.

Libby took a brave step towards her fatigued friend. "Ana."

"_NOW_!"

"ANA!" Libby yelled firmly. Her voice seemed to cut through Ana's tough skin; having some effect.

She lowered one gun and slipped it into her waistband. She took some deep breaths; but kept a tight grip on the gun that remained in her hands. "We need to tie him up," She gestured to Sayid as she spoke to Eko.

"I am not tying him up." Eko said firmly.

Ana strode towards him. "He tried to kill you!" She reminded him.

Eko defiantly shook his head. "No."

Dejected, Ana turned to Libby and pointed her gun at her. "Libby; you tie him up. Use the vines from the stretcher."

This statement snapped Mia back into the situation. "No! If you do that we won't be able to carry-"

"Shut! _Up_!" Ana cursed each word at her.

"He needs a doctor; or he'll die." Mia said in an even voice, not wanting to spark another argument. Ana's face was still visibly reddened from the punch Mia had given her; she didn't want to give her extra reason to fire that gun.

Ana locked eyes with Mia; lowered her pistol, and just stared at her. "I know what I'm doing." She said quietly. "Now untie him."

Libby was already unraveling the vines on the stretcher, and gave Mia a sympathetic look as they carefully untied Sawyer. In a sudden shock, Sawyer started shaking. "Oh!" Mia pulled him out of the stretcher. "Sawyer?" She held her hand to his face, her heart racing as she realized his temperature wasn't cooling off.

"M?" He barely whispered.

"Here," Libby pushed her water bottle into Mia's hands. "While he's conscious."

"Hey, hey," Mia knelt down close to his face. "You have to get some water in you, okay? You're gonna be fine; but you need to drink, alright?" She held the water bottle to his lips and dribbled the water into his mouth. He took one mouthful; and then two, and then promptly coughed up the third. "Ok, good," Mia stopped pouring. "Good," She pulled him into her arms so Libby could take the vines from underneath him. "Can you stay awake?"

"M…" He muttered. "Amelia… Marguerite… Rowan… I…" He trailed off and passed out once again.

"It's ok," She said to Libby who was watching her with pity.

"Who's Marguerite?" Libby asked.

"It's my middle name," Mia replied, pulling Sawyer into her lap so he wouldn't have his head in the mud. She could do nothing but watch Libby take the vines as Ana lifted Sayid by herself towards a tree. She snatched the vines from Libby and tied him up quickly to make sure he was stuck in place; and then again more tightly. They were talking; but Mia couldn't make out what they were saying.

"Let me help."

Mia hadn't realized Eko was at her side until she heard him speak. "What?"

"I will carry him back to your camp. You know the way, yes?"

Mia nodded. "I don't…" She glanced down at Sawyer and bit her lower lip. "He can't take much more of this." She admitted.

Eko nodded, reached down and slung Sawyer over his shoulder, rising to his feet with apparent ease with the man resting across his back. "Let's go."

"What the hell do you think you're doing?" Ana squealed; noticing Eko and Mia retreating from her little coven of scared people.

"I am taking him back to his camp." Eko said reasonably, gesturing to Mia. "And she is leading me."

Ana just stood, stunned as the trio started to walk off, Mia shared a nod with Michael, him letting her know it was okay that she go, and that he would stay with Sayid and Jin.

"Wait," Ana stood in front of Eko; blocking his path. "Don't leave." She muttered in a low voice, clearly not wanting Mia to hear her. "Please. If that were you," She jutted her chin at Sawyer. "He'd let you die."

"I'm not doing it for him." Eko told her. "I'm doing it for me."

Mia and Ana locked eyes, but didn't say anything to each other, they both knew whatever they would say would only breed more tension between them, but she was letting them go. That was something. Not much, but something.

**xxx**

Mia had thought once the rain stopped it would be easier to trek her way back to the beach; but she was so very wrong. Now the sun was beating down on her damp clothes, and her soaking boots kept slipping on rocks and making her slide. Her hands had grazes all over them from her frequent falls on her face, and now that she wasn't spending her time worrying about Sawyer; all of her injuries she'd had since the raft exploded were making themselves very well known. Her leg stung; her head was aching and her side was numb. The knowledge that they'd be near Jack, and therefore better medical treatment for Sawyer, was the only thing spurring her on.

"I must rest." Eko said after about an hour.

Mia happily pulled to a stop in a clearing; she was surprised he hadn't needed a break earlier. All she carried in her shoulder bag were her damp belongings and two bottles of water. Eko had one bottle hanging from a string on his belt. Lying Sawyer sitting upright against a fallen tree log, Eko took his water bottle and stood in the middle of the clearing, breathing in and out, filling his lungs with much needed oxygen. Mia took one of her water bottles, swallowed a few mouthfuls, and then sat beside Sawyer. An onlooker could be mistaken for thinking he was just resting his eyes as he sat; not unconscious from an infected wound.

Resting her head back against the log, Mia turned to face Sawyer. She could feel the heat emanating from his forehead even though they weren't touching. "Sawyer?" She voiced quietly; hoping his eyes would snap open and he'd snarl some retort at her, something that would tell her that he was back to normal and that he was okay. "Can you hear me?" She wasn't speaking loudly; she didn't want Eko to overhear; not that he was likely to call her on anything she said. "You have to wake up, do you hear me?" He didn't even stir. "Please. You have to wake up." Tears welled in her eyes as she resisted the urge to reach out and touch him.

"We should keep moving." Eko said, already approaching her to pick Sawyer back up. "We might get back to your camp before dark."

Mia nodded, keeping her eyes to the ground. "I could help you carry him," She offered.

"It would be worse for his injury to have him between two people," Eko said, lifting Sawyer back up over his broad shoulders. "And you are exhausted as it is; you need to spend your energy on getting us to your doctor."

Mia nodded again and started to walk. The sun wasn't as strong as it had been; they were past the worst of the heat of the day, which was both good and bad. Good for the temperature; bad for the lighting. Mia could track better than most people; but without a torch or any sort of light in the dark, trekking was almost impossible. Each tree looked just like the next, all the branches were alike, the paths looked the same; it was a fruitless endeavour.

But then, Mia saw a ray of hope in the form of a red piece of fabric tied around the trunk of a tree. "Boone." She smiled, remembering too clearly how he had tied these as markers to trees to help them find their way back to camp when Claire had been kidnapped. Her smile faded as she thought of the young man, killed way too early in his life, and now Shannon, too. It was hardly a time to smile; but it was a beacon home. "We're close." She muttered over her shoulder to Eko; clearly struggling. "I know this path."

"Follow it; I can follow you. Go." Eko told her as he paused to take a few breaths.

With a new surge of energy, Mia took to the path like it was an old friend welcoming her home. She could still hear Eko trudging behind her, but she kept her eyes on the path ahead of her, recognizing trees, noticing footprints, and then, like a church bell, Mia heard laughter. Laughter that she recognized.

Kate.

"Hello?" Mia cried out, wanting to alert her friend that she was there, not an enemy.

There was silence, and then. "Who's there?"

Mia broke through a fence of shrubs and spied Kate and Jack, standing beside a creek, Jack with a golf club in his hand. "Jack!" She cried with relief.

"Mia!" Jack sprang towards her.

"Oh my God!" Kate was right behind Jack, crossing the river.

"What happened to your leg?" Jack asked as he crossed the water. "What happened to the raft?"

"Sawyer got shot, we found the people from the tail section, Shannon's dead," Mia said, reaching for Jack as her head suddenly became hazy. "Walt's gone. We had to find you..." With that, she collapsed right into Jack's arms.

**xxx**


	26. Comatose

_A/N: This chapter brings back a fave of mine to write, Matt, Bec's (Becimpala33) OC. Check out her awesome fic "The Roads That Lead To Destiny Are Winding" for more details on him._

**Chapter 26: Comatose**

_"Mi__a? Hey, it's me, Kate, you're gonna be fine."_

Mia's eyes fluttered open and she was staring at what was unmistakable a roof light. "Wh...?" Her voice was weak; her body was weak, and when she tried to turn her head, her whole body seized in pain. "Ugh!" She cried out, shocking herself with how much agony it caused her just to move.

"Jack, she's awake!" Matt's familiar voice echoed through the room.

_Room? I'm inside... _Mia's mind tried to adjust. Were they rescued?

"Mia?" Jack was leaning over her now, appearing almost out of nowhere. "It's Jack; can you hear me?"

"Yeah," She said quietly. "Yeah, I can hear you. What happened?"

"You passed out." Jack said, taking her arm and feeling her pulse at her wrist. "You're dehydrated, exhausted, your leg is infected... I dunno how you were still on your feet."

"Where are we?" She resisted asking if they were rescued.

"In the hatch." Jack replied, inspecting the cut on her forehead.

"The hatch?" Mia repeated, getting a fuzzy memory of checking out the bunker with Locke and Sayid. It seemed like a lifetime ago that she'd been staring at the metal box sticking up out of the ground. "We're inside it?"

"It's okay; I'll explain it all later." Jack said, pushing a cup of water to her lips. "Drink."

Mia suddenly grabbed Jack's wrist. "Sawyer!" She cried.

"He's resting; he's fine," Jack said quickly. "Just drink this and take it easy, okay?"

"Is he awake? Did he say anything?" Mia asked through small sips of water.

"He's still unconscious." Kate admitted to her. "He hasn't woken up since you brought him back."

Mia leant backwards, realizing she was somewhat comfortable on an old couch, her legs were raised up on a pillow and her jeans had been torn off all the way to the knees, her right leg – the injured one – had a bulky bandage around her calf all the way up to her kneecap.

"I had to cut them off," Jack explained, moving down to her feet. "You took some antibiotics, do you remember? Matt helped you swallow them."

Mia didn't remember, but sent a grateful smile to Matt who was leaning against the wall just near her. She felt something pull on her injured legs toes.

"Do you feel that?" Jack asked.

Mia looked down and saw that he was wiggling the toes of her right leg. "Yeah," She nodded.

"Good; can you move your toes?" Mia wiggled them back and forth. Jack smiled with relief. "Good, you should be fine; you just need to rest that leg, ok?"

"The raft exploded?" Kate ventured carefully, shuffling closer to Mia. "You said it blew... and Walt's gone..."

Mia held her hand to her forehead, feeling that she had a temperature, or maybe she was just sunburnt. "Yeah, The Others... they came and took Walt and blew up the raft, that's when I cut my leg... and when they shot Sawyer." Mia's voice started shaking.

"It's ok," Kate was holding her hand tightly. "You're home, now." She smiled sadly.

"I want to see Sawyer," Mia pushed herself up on her elbows, ignoring the pain in her leg and her throbbing forehead.

"Mia, no," Matt was suddenly kneeling by her, just like Kate, and attempting to keep her down on the couch. "You have to rest like Jack said, okay? You have to."

"I need to see him!" Mia snapped. "Help me up or let me do it myself but I'm not just gonna lie here."

Matt looked to Jack, who sighed, shook his head and motioned with his hand for them to take her in to see him; he was too tired to argue. Matt and Kate each took one of Mia's arms and helped her to her feet. "I got ya," Matt said as he looped an arm around Mia's waist. "I've got her." He said to Kate, who nodded and went to talk with an exhausted looking Jack.

Mia found that as weak as her right leg was, the left was quite strong. She could hobble along on it, leaning into Matt's body to keep her steady. Her head was fuzzy and she felt like she might pass out, but she kept walking. Hell; she'd trudged through the jungle with this leg; it wasn't going to give up on her now.

Sawyer was shaking; and Mia found that more frightening than him being unconscious. "Why is he shaking?"

"Jack said he's septic," Matt said quietly. "The infection's gotten in his blood stream. Jack tried to give him the same antibiotics as you but..."

Mia turned her aching head up to Matt's worried expression. "But what?"

"He can't swallow it." Matt said, lowering Mia down on the bed. "Or he won't." Matt made sure Mia was sitting upright.

It was strange for Mia to be sitting on bed after all this time of sleeping on the sand. The bed was small; made for a single person; and it had a window but there was no view outside the blinds. It was similar to a large bay window; but with a bed. Sawyer was shirtless; his arm bandaged with blood seeping through it, sweating and shaking in a way that hurt Mia's chest.

"Mia, I really think you should lie down," Jack came into view, a cup of cold water in his hand.

"Why won't he take the pill?" She asked Jack; aware that her voice was shuddering a little.

Jack shook his head, not having a good enough answer for her. "He could be delirious; the fever... it needs to come down and sticking him in the shower didn't help."

"Give me the pill." Mia instructed Jack, shuffling herself back over Sawyer's legs and pushing across the wall until she was at the side of Sawyer's head. She lifted Sawyer's head into her lap; as she had done so often over the past few days, she hoped the familiarity of her would get through to him somehow. "Sawyer?" She held his head in the arch of her arm, brushing his dirty, damp hair off his sweaty brow. "It's me..." She clicked her fingers at Jack and he put the pill in her hand. "You have to get better, alright? You know that. You _know_ you have to get better. And the only way you're going to get better is if you take this pill. Please." With the pill in her palm, Mia used her thumb to crush it into smaller pieces. "All you have to do is swallow one drink of water, okay? Just one."

Sawyer groaned out a low breath, but it was the closest thing to a response Mia had gotten from him, so she quickly pushed open his lips with her fingers and poured the pill fragments onto his tongue. Jack was right there with the cup of water, and he tipped a small amount into Sawyer's mouth. Mia forced Sawyer's mouth closed. "Now swallow it, come on," She urged him. "Honey, if you have to swallow it; please." He groaned again; but he swallowed, coughing as the water went down his throat; but none of it came back up. "Good!" Mia said exuberantly, hugging his head to her. "Good; good."

"Nice job." Jack said with a smirk. "I never learned the whole whisper-in-the-ear thing in med school."

"My niece hates taking pills; her mother – my sister – was the same." Mia explained. "I crush them up; put them on a scoop of ice-cream." She smiled. "Water seems to work for him."

"Come on; you should go back and rest on the couch." Jack reached for Mia's arm.

"I can rest here." She said firmly. "And I don't feel like moving again. Plus, isn't it easier to have both patients close together?" An off key keeping noise suddenly resonated around the hatch. "What the hell is that?"

"The button." Kate said, already on the move. "I'll go."

"Button?" Mia repeated.

"A long story that'll just piss you off," Matt interjected, taking a seat in the chair opposite Sawyer's bed. "You're much happier not knowing."

Too tired to argue with him, Mia let it go. "Where's Eko?" She asked Jack, who gave her a quizzical expression. "The big guy who brought us back; his name's Eko. Where is he?"

"I'm, ah," Jack rose to his feet. "I'm not sure... sit tight; I'll be back." He followed Kate out of the room.

"So," Matt said slowly and quietly when they were alone. "The raft... we knew something had happened."

"How?"

"Claire found the bottle of messages. I tried to tell her that it might have just fallen overboard, but she said you wouldn't have let them..." He sighed and leant back in the easy chair. "She thought something awful had happened... she was right."

"Yeah," Mia nodded tearfully, clutching Sawyer's wheezing body close to her. "She was right."

**xxx**


	27. Release Me

_A/N: This chapter still contains, Matt, Bec's (Becimpala33) OC. Check out her awesome fic "The Roads That Lead To Destiny Are Winding" for more details on him._

**Chapter 27: Release Me  
**

Mia was half-asleep; Sawyer head still in her lap, when she heard screaming from the other room. Jack's screaming; to be more specific. And he was yelling at John.

"Half-dead with a bullet in his shoulder, John!"

"What's that all about?" Mia asked through a stifled yawn to Matt; who had been dozing with his head in his hand.

"Hm?" Wiping some drool from his mouth, Matt stood up and stretched. "I dunno... more drama. Stay here."

He was gone before Mia could point out to him that she was in no condition to be going anywhere. Instead; she sighed and looked down at Sawyer. Again; he looked somewhat peaceful which made the grip around Mia's heart release just a little bit. "You hear that?" She mumbled to him. "More drama... at least we're not involved with it this time."

"Ar..hmmm..." Sawyer growled.

Mia just shushed him, he had been babbling incoherently for an hour or so. Jack said it was a good sign since the fever was going down; he was regaining some form of consciousness.

"_I love you_..." Sawyer suddenly said more clearly, coughing abruptly and resting his head back against her thigh.

Mia smiled; stroking the hair out of his face yet again. She didn't have a response for him; but he wouldn't have heard her even if she had. She found some comfort in that.

"Mia?"

Mia's eyes lifted from Sawyer to see Sun, wide eyed and open-mouthed, staring at her in shock. "Sun!" She smiled.

"Oh, are you alright?" She approached Mia and held a hand out to her to which Mia squeezed; it was as close to a hug as they were going to get without having to heave Mia up off the bed.

"I'll be fine." She said tiredly. "And so is Jin." She added right away.

"Yes, Michael told me." She smiled a calm, beautiful smile.

"Michael came back?"

"Yes," Sun looked down at Sawyer's weary body. "That man, Eko? He is taking Jack, Michael and Kate to get Jin, and Sayid," She paused. "And Shannon's body."

"Does the rest of the camp know?" Mia asked; eager to brush past the topic of losing another of their own.

"They know something happened to the raft, I came here with Michael as soon as he came back. If you don't need anything I should go back there and let everyone know you and Sawyer are alright."

"No, I'm fine. Thank you, Sun."

"Get some sleep, Mia," Sun said as she exited the room, bypassing Matt as she did so.

"You're not going on the rescue mission?" Mia smirked at him.

"I just had a shower," Matt said cheekily. "Don't wanna get muddied up right away."

Suddenly Mia recalled what Jack had said about putting Sawyer in the shower; and it not helping the fever. She'd been concerned with so much else she'd forgotten to ask. "There's a shower?"

"Yeah," Matt nodded. "A pretty good one."

"Man I'd love to get in on that." She glanced down at her leg. "Supposed I can't just yet."

"Hold that thought." Matt said, a mischievous glint in his eye. "I'll be back."

Mia looked down at Sawyer; his mouth was hanging open in a way that she knew he was sleeping, perhaps finally resting off his fever and infection. "How are you feeling?" She asked him; brushing his hair from his brow again; noting that his head felt much cooler than it had previously. "You look better," She said with an affirming nod. "Your tan is coming back." She smiled.

"I...lo..." Sawyer groaned turning his head towards her.

"What?" Mia leant in closer to him.

"I... I _love you_..." He said in a whisper.

Again, surprised, Mia just stroked the side of his face and sighed. "And I love hearing it." She mumbled.

"Ok," Matt announced as he came back into the room, noisily shaking a garbage bag in his hands. "One of the plusses in being in this joint - there's garbage bags. We wrap up that leg and you can shower, like with a cast." He held out his hands, awaiting her accolades. "Easy-peasy."

"You're a dork." She smirked, sliding her wounded leg to the floor; immediately feeling the heaviness of the blood rushing back down to her foot. "I can't stand so how could I shower?"

"I've already thought of that," Matt said, kneeling down in front of her and wrapping the dark green trash bag around her wound, carefully tucking it in at each end so no water could seep in. "Come on." He reached down and pulled her to her feet, slipping her arm across his shoulder. "Now, I feel like I should warn you – you being a married woman and all, and me being gay and all – there is absolutely nothing sexual about what's gonna happen."

Mia just gave him a weird look as they hobbled slowly into the bathroom. It was very bland, brown and white, but the shower was quite large. There was also a toilet, sink and basin, a large mirror and an asylum-like florescent light coating the room in a too-white glow.

"Sit here." Matt said.

Mia was about to ask where, seeing the toilet as the only seat nearby. Until Matt opened the shower and she saw a fold out deck chair set out over the shower drain. "What are you doing?" She turned and saw Matt already had his shirt off and was just standing there in jeans. Mia almost giggled like a schoolgirl; she hadn't seen this much of him before, but her mind clicked into gear when he started to help her remove her shirt; he was going to help her take a shower.

"Now, 'cos we've only known each other a month or so I'm gonna insist we keep your lady parts covered," Matt said, tossing her dirty, faded and stretched out shirt into the sink. "And, yeah, your jeans are pretty much wrecked anyway so..." He pulled off what remained of her jeans and added them on top of her shirt; then he turned on the shower full blast.

"Oh, I love that sound." Mia said, smiling broadly at the shower, desperately wanting to just jump in there.

"Take it easy, now," Matt took her hand and helped her limp towards the chair, the warm water hitting her back.

"Ah!" She yelped in pain.

"Too hot?"

"No," Mia winced again. "I guess I have more cuts than I realized..." Her body pumped with a strange mix of exhaustion and adrenaline; she suddenly found herself shaking. Her body tensed, released, and then tensed again. It wouldn't stop.

Matt moved behind her. "Oh, Jesus, Mia..." He breathed as he saw her back.

"What?" Alarmed, she tried to turn around but he kept her from doing so.

"Nothing, just... sit." He helped her; not wanting to alert her, but her back was _covered_ in grazes and scrapes in various stages of healing. She also had heat rash and a bruised sore on her side that looked as though she'd been punctured by something thin like a pen or a stick. The cuts extended down her lower back, through her tattoo that Matt couldn't identify the language (_Nemo me impune lacessit_), and her thighs to her severely swollen leg. Her whole body was twitching.

There was a loose elastic band holding a knot of Mia's hair in place, Matt pulled at it and whatever was holding it together snapped and her hair fell down on her shoulders. There was shampoo left on the shelf from Kate's shower earlier, so Matt poured some of it into his palms and began to massage it into Mia's hair.

"You don't ha-have to do this." She stammered, shivering in the chill that came just before the heat of the shower warmed them up.

"Well; your hair's a mess, and you can't do it." Matt said kindly, pulling twigs and leaves from her hair and directing the spray of water straight onto her grown as he lathered up the shampoo.

Mia didn't know what it was; the fact that she had finally got Sawyer to Jack and that he was healing, the fact that she was back with her friends even though their raft had been a completely wasted adventure, her countless injuries, or just the exhaustion of not sleeping for two days, but she found herself crying. She hugged her arms around her chest to try and stop shuddering; letting the hot water run over her face and mix with her tears. She felt Matt's grip around her shoulders and pull her into his chest, silently washing the dirt off her body as she wept openly into his arms.

**xxx**


	28. Forget The World

**Chapter 28: Forget The World**

Mia wasn't too fond of the outfit she had to put on after her shower. Matt had brought her some clothes from the beach but claimed that he was in such a rush to get to the hatch, he just took whatever clothes he was handed, and they turned out to belong to a girl he didn't know that well, Nikki, but she was helpful enough and said Mia could keep the clothes.

They were cut off shorts that came up too high on Mia's thigh than she would have liked; and a tight dirt orange singlet with a symbol stamped on the front. Mia assumed Nikki was about a size smaller than her; which made the clothes wearable; but a little snug.

The warmth of the shower had done wonders for Mia's injuries, and while Matt took her clothes to, in his words, 'find the closest incinerator for them', Mia had been inspecting all her wounds. Since she'd been in jeans from the moment she'd climbed aboard the raft; she hadn't seen upfront how bad her leg had been cut, and since Matt's garbage bag tourniquet was still holding, she didn't much want to find out just yet. The pain in her side where she'd landed on that sharp stick after her tumble into Ana's dirt pit was healing, bruising awfully, but healing. Her scrapes and cuts up and down her legs, across her shoulders and back, and to her face were flaring up in pink because of the shower; but they mostly appeared to be superficial. The cut to her forehead was deep; but clean. Also healing.

She was thankful her hair was completely wet and flattened on her head; because she knew in the humidity her normally casual curls would have frizzed and dried up like green leaf in the arid desert. The bathroom, whilst radiating a hospital-like energy, had no sense of humanity to it. There were no toothbrushes, no discarded razors, half-empty shampoo bottles or face creams; only a pale white bar of soap and a damp washcloth. She was inspecting the drawers by the sink when she heard Matt's frantic call.

"_MIA_!"

Her instinct made her run; but her leg made her pull up and almost fall flat on her face; she caught the doorframe just in time and hobbled in the direction of the sounds of scuffling, voices she identified as Jack's and Matt's, as though they were lifting something.

Suddenly she was face to face with Locke.

"Where's Kate?" He asked, not even stopping as he walked passed her.

"I dunno," Mia answered, her heart starting to race as she began to wonder what the hell was up now. "What's wrong?" When Locke didn't answer her, Mia knew that it had something to do with Sawyer, so she pushed through the pain in her leg and hobbled as fast as she could into the bedroom. "What the hell happened?" She asked; trying to figure out the scene before her. Sawyer was shaking again; his arm bleeding, Jack was using a penlight on his eyes while Matt was rinsing a cloth in a bowl of cold water.

"Kate was feeding him," Jack muttered as he continued to go through the clinical checks of Sawyer's body. "When I came back, he was on the ground and she was gone."

"On the ground?" Mia repeated. "Did he get up or did he fall?"

"He fell," Jack answered. "Fever's steady but," He shrugged. "Dammit."

"What?"

"I can't tell if he did any more damage to his arm," He said, standing straight and resting his hands on his hips. "Have to wait until the shock wears off." With that, he started to leave. "Matt, we have to find Kate." He ordered. "Mia; kept his head cool, don't feed him, maybe some water when he stops shaking, ok?"

"Yeah, got it." Mia said with a nod, taking the cloth from Matt as he and Jack filed out of the bedroom. Mia noticed Kate had dropped a bowl of mashed up papaya on the floor beside the chair she'd pulled up to Sawyer's bedside. Something must have spooked her, maybe Sawyer had woken up suddenly and scared her... but Kate wasn't the type to be scared easily.

"Sawyer?" Mia whispered, sitting in the chair and shuffling it a little closer to him. "Hey," She held the compress to his forehead. "I don't even know if you can hear me," She wiped his forehead with her right hand, intertwining her fingers with his with her left. "Or if you're dreaming... I've been unconscious before... I dreamt... or at least I thought I did... what I was seeing felt so real..." She shook her head, those months in hospital after her last mission with SRF, the one that had killed Rork, were memories; and she wanted to keep them away from the forefront of her mind. "Do you remember what you said to me?" She said, leaning in quietly in case Locke or Kate came back unexpectedly. "When the plane went down...?"

**xxx**

_22 September 2004 – Oceanic Flight 815  
6 hours into flight_

Mia was thumbing through the final pages of _Persuasion_, wondering why she'd chosen this Jane Austen book over all the others she'd had at home; but she'd been in a rush. That morning she'd woken up thinking the biggest thing she was going to do was take her niece to the park, and now she was on a plane to Los Angeles with her soon-to-be ex-husband.

Beside her, Sawyer was pretending to be asleep; she knew he was faking because she could see him peek out of the corner of his eyes in her peripheral vision when he thought she was reading. She figured he was wondering how the hell he'd convinced her to accompany him; she was thinking the same thing. They had both downed two miniature bottles each of the airlines vodka before they'd even taken off from Sydney airport; Mia was somewhat glad that he was as stressed by this voyage as she was.

The divorce papers were in Mia's shoulder bag; every time she looked at it she felt like it was burning a hole in the worn fabric. When she'd buckled her seat belt; all she wanted to do was whip out the paperwork and force Sawyer to sign them; but she knew that would just be a fruitless task. He'd just smirk; and remind her that their deal was that he'd give her his John Hancock once they landed in L.A. It was just a game; one last thing to have over her before they ended things for good.

Having flown on a fixed-wing cargo aircraft sitting in her fatigues knee to knee with her fellow soldiers, Mia was used to turbulence; and when the plane tilted sharply to the left, and then back to the right; she didn't even look up from her book.

When the lights started flickering, Mia just sighed and put her book on back in her bag until things returned to normal.

But when the plane lurched forwards so steep that Mia smacked her head on the back of the seat in front of her; she realized something was very wrong.

"What the hell?" Sawyer growled, managing to push his hands out in front of him to stop his head from following the same path as Mia's.

Mia's heart started pounding through her chest; she couldn't see out the window but she could tell from the angle she was on that they were headed for the ground – or water – fast. "I d-dunno," She stammered, trying to lean back in her chair; but the propulsion force of the plane kept her on an awkward angle.

With a snap and a loud clang; the oxygen masks dropped from the roof.

"Mia, lean back!" Sawyer pushed her shoulder hard and shoved her back, right-ways, into her seat, yanking the oxygen mask down over her face before she'd even realized what he'd done.

Inhaling the somewhat calming oxygen, Mia managed to see Sawyer putting on his own mask, eyes frightened and wild; the same eyes she'd seen on him that night in the rain when he shot the 'wrong Sawyer'. He was scared.

"Sawyer!" Mia found herself grasping for his hand, finding his thigh, then his knee before he clasped his thick fingers around hers.

"It's not straighten' out!" He roared over the screaming of the plane's engine along with a weird, magnetic whirring noise.

"It's okay!" Mia managed to cry out. "James, it's okay!" She tried to pull her hand back, wanting desperately to grip her armrests, as if that would somehow stick her to her seat and keep her from jostling around.

Sawyer's head snapped to the side; his eyes still stern and scarily clear. "Do _not_ let go of my hand." He ordered her.

She wasn't sure why, but the way he said that made her eyes well with tears. He was gripping her hand as tightly as she was his; and as they descended at a faster pace, Mia realized they were going to die; and the reason he didn't want to let her go is because he didn't want to die alone; and with tears running down her cheeks Mia knew that she didn't want to, either.

An ear-splitting crack from behind them made Mia think the plane may have exploded; that she was dead; but as the seconds passed she realized she could still hear her heart thundering in her ears. She didn't dare look back; but by the sound of the forceful air sucking luggage towards the back of the plane, Mia knew the tail-end must have broken off. Her logical mind was wondering how... how the hell did a plane just snap in two? Impossible...

"Do _not_ let go of my hand, you hear me?"

"I...I..." Mia was trying to form the words that she was feeling light headed, the speed at which they were descending was counteracting the oxygen she was breathing in; she wasn't getting enough air.

"MIA!" Sawyer pulled her hand to his chest, gripping it into his fist. "Don't you let go; hear me?"

She could hear him; but only barely, but the last thing she felt before she blacked out was Sawyer's iron grip squeezing her fingers numb as they rocketed towards the earth.

**xxx**

Now, back on the island, it was Mia clutching Sawyer's hand, but the strength of her grip was the same as she'd felt back in her seat on the plane. And now the pleading was in reverse, she was the one begging him. "Don't let go," She said firmly, pulling his hand to her chest so his fingers rested in the hollow of her neck. "You _cannot_ leave me here without you. We got on the plane together; we landed here together... and we'll go home together, okay? You and me..."

Again; just like on the plane; tears from nowhere welled in her eyes. That same feeling crept up her spine and settled throughout her body. He wouldn't die alone, she was with him... but then she would be alone without him... and the severity of fright that came over her with that realization only generated more tears.

"Sawyer," She leaned in close to his face, removing the compress and touching his cheek with the back of her fingers, feeling that he was much cooler but still had a temperature. "Please wake up... I... I just..." She bit her lip. "I took a shower with Matt." She found herself admitted with a grin. "You have to wake up," Her face scrunched together as she tried to stay calm. "You have to wake up and tease me about it." She took her hand from his face and didn't know where else to put it... his shoulder? His chest? What did it matter? "You can't..." She gasped, instead using her hand to cover her mouth; having always hated the expression her lips pulled into when she cried. "Jesus Christ, Sawyer, you can't die here, you selfish son of a bitch."

Sawyer stirred, only just... and then...

"That's about the sweetest thing I even heard..." He grumbled.

Mia looked up at him; quickly silencing her tears, afraid what she'd heard was a trick of her own tired mind. "Sawyer?" She leaned in closer to him; heart lifting when she saw his eyes flutter open.

"Which one is Matt?" He said; his lips trying to curl into a trademark smirk.

Mia laughed through her tears and pressed her lips against his, a kiss born from exhausted relief. He was speaking; he was awake; he was going to live. Sniffling, Mia pulled away from him, carefully making sure he didn't move too much and disturb his shoulder; tossing him back into a dangerous unconscious state.

His eyes blinked a few times, adjusting to the light, and then seeing the roof, realizing he was in a bed... inside... "Are we rescued?" He was almost afraid to ask the question.

"No," She had to admit, a sad smile replacing the one of relief on her face. "Not yet." She saw his face fall; but at least he had some visible emotion now.

And not once did he let go of her hand.

**xxx**


	29. Not Yet

**Chapter 29: Not Yet**

_Sydney, Australia - 2001_

Mia removed her duffle bag from the back of the taxi herself before her driver was even out of his seat. Lucky-satchel slung over her left shoulder, she handed the driver two twenty dollar notes and told him to keep the change; she never saw the point in waiting around for an extra couple of dollars. Socially, the world seemed to dislike cab drivers, so Mia always made herself a good passenger. She was on time, gave perfect directions, and a tip.

The cab pulled away from the modest, two-bedroom, single-level home Bree Rowan lived in, and Mia could already hear the crying of her toddler niece Lara from outside; she had a set of lungs on her, that girl. Mia hadn't been able to get away from the states to see her family for months; but with Sawyer off doing his own thing she had a perfect excuse to visit her sister.

Truth was, she needed the escape. She was getting too involved, with Sawyer, with the cons, with everything. Her mind had been playing her betraying dreams; dreams were she didn't do her job, didn't turn him in for his crimes... dreams where, instead, she found a way to save him. Her rational mind put those dreams to rest as she woke; whatever feelings she felt for him could not possibly be reciprocated from him. He was a conman; she had to believe that everything he said was a lie. Everything.

"Mia!" Bree squealed with delight, toddler on her hip; as she yanked open the rickety net door.

Mia dropped her bags to the ground and took her sister and niece into her arms and squeezed them both, despite Lara's fussing protests.

"It's your Aunt Mia," Bree was telling her daughter. "She's come to stay with us, isn't that fun?"

Lara just whined and wriggled in her mother's arms until she put her down. Bree then wrapped her big sister in a huge hug. "I'm so glad you're here."

"Me too."

Bree took her sister's duffle and led her inside the house. It had been her former boyfriend's, Symon Wallace. Bree had met him while he was on a Boy's Trip to the states, and after falling hopelessly in love within a week, she'd returned to Australia with him. Then after Bree had found out she was pregnant at only nineteen, twenty-three-year-old Symon had moved her into his house, only to be gone a mere two months later. A struggling musician, Symon had said he needed to focus on his career, and a girlfriend and a baby didn't factor into that life.

Bree wasn't one to be rejected, and had successfully sued him in court, gained soul custody of their daughter as well as his house. Symon had only seen his daughter twice, both in court. He had fallen into a bad pattern, alcohol, drugs; the music world wasn't treating him well; which only helped Bree's legal case. Now he did the smartest thing he could do; he stayed away.

Symon was a ghost to Bree's life, and she liked to keep it that way. She had Lara; that was all she needed. The house was a comforting bonus, of course.

Bree took Mia into the second bedroom, that was halfway to being completed into Lara's room; but for now she still slept in her crib in Bree's room. So as well as the horrid blue futon that would fold out into Mia's bed, there was a doll house and a toy box full of fluffy animals in one corner.

"Wow; this looks great." Mia said as she entered the room, the last time she'd been here it had been a storage room slash library slash study.

"Yeah; now that Lara's getting bigger she's getting into more stuff, so while baby-proofing I kinda got a renovating bug, too." She stashed her sister's bag in the built-in cupboard by the door. "I gotta go find my little lady, be right back..."

Bree dashed out of the room leaving Mia to relax for a moment. She was in a completely different country. Bree knew nothing about her job, most definitely nothing about Sawyer, so this should be easy. Just play big sister and Aunt Mia for a week... an escape from playing a lovelorn ex-wife who had fallen head over heels for a conman whilst secretly letting him dig his own grave by letting her in on all his con-secrets, not knowing she would one day use them against him to put him in prison.

Although that plan wasn't nearly as enticing now as it had been when she'd been given the assignment the year before. Back then she'd been all about getting her client justice... now... there was a small part of her that wished Sawyer would stop conning, and give her a reason to pull away, disappear, move on to another case.

She was a soldier at heart, SRF. Special Reconnaissance Forces. She was an _extraction_ expert; an agent trained to _save_ people, at all costs. And now her job was to send a man to prison, a complete flip of every moral she had carefully manicured to become a successful soldier. That part of her that was programmed to save, it still hummed through her body, especially at night in her deceiving dreams. And the longer this case went on, the harder it was to ignore that humming...

The following morning, Mia was awake before sunrise, jet-lag was settling in nicely, to her dismay. The good news was that she was able to get Lara up and out of Bree's room before she woke her little sister; giving her a much longer sleep. Lara was still drowsy when Mia carried her into the living room, swaying her gently back and forth, comforted by the warmth of her niece's body against her shoulder.

"Oh, Lara-bear," Mia whispered as she gazed out at the morning sun rising through the window. "Don't ever grow up... when you grow up you have to deal with things... and dealing with things sucks. Just stay a sweet baby, okay?" She kissed her ruffled, chocolate brown hair. "Don't grow up, don't fall in love..." She sighed and rocked Lara in her arms. "Just stay sweet and innocent... and nothing bad will happen to you."

The sudden ring of her cell phone snapped Mia and Lara out of their relaxing cuddle, Lara made a frustrated grunt and fidgeted to be put down. Setting her niece beside a stack of blocks and a family of toy squirrels, Mia sprinted to her room to answer her cell before it woke Bree.

"Hello?" She whispered loudly as she answered, double checking her sister was still snoring quietly in her bed.

"Hey, baby,"

"Sawyer." Mia was surprised to hear from him; and she wasn't sure why.

"How was your flight?"

"Ah, good," Mia hurried further away from the kitchen back to Lara who was building a block house for the squirrel family. "Long, but I slept most of the way."

"How's your lil' sis?"

"Sleeping." Mia kept Lara in her sights but stepped out onto the back porch. "What time is it there?"

"Early... late, I dunno," He chuckled. "I might have a job for us when you get back."

"Really?" She had soon discovered after she met Sawyer that he was one of the more reckless of cons, a Gambler as it were, someone who told lie upon lie to keep their story going; while they launched their scheme and waited for money to come pouring in, taking the gamble that their lies would hold until they got the money they needed; in other words, the current situation Mia believed she was in with Sawyer.

"But I've been thinking," Sawyer said a moment later. "We got cash stowed away... why don't we just... take off?"

"Take off?" Mia repeated. This was a new tactic; he hadn't tried it before.

"Disappear."

"No more jobs?"

"No more jobs." He repeated.

Mia wasn't sure how to answer, she usually just winged it when he went off kilt, but this wasn't the type of thing she was used to running along with. He wanted out of the game? This was his new ploy? Get out, only to have her pull him back in?

"Mia?"

"Yeah, I'm just... thinking..." She said to explain her silence. "About how good that sounds."

"I thought I'd really have to twist your arm..."

"Well, even I can be surprising." She said seductively.

"I miss you."

Another unexpected move, but Mia kept herself in character. "I miss you, too."

"Call me later?"

"Absolutely." With that; she hung up. Whatever it was, whatever he said; she had to go along with it. It was her job.

Just a job.

**xxx**

The painkillers were working and Sawyer's fever had gone right down, so Mia thought he should get on his feet for awhile. He was pretty unsteady, and her leg was still numb, but together they managed to hobble through the hatch.

"You're just pulling my leg, ain't ya?" Sawyer said with a smirk, his arm draped around Mia's shoulder as she helped him walk. "We're rescued."

"We're really, really not," Mia told him for the tenth time, grabbing her bag from the arm of one of the bench chairs as they walked by. "And it's just going to make you more depressed when you get out into the jungle, so would you just trust me?"

Sawyer's cockiness disappeared once Mia got him outside. The grim, yet lush, surroundings of the jungle were all too familiar to him to believe they could possibly be anywhere else than still on the island. "What happened?" Sawyer asked as Mia led him to a fallen tree log and sat him down.

"What's the last thing you remember?"

"Being loaded into a dodgy stretcher."

"The one that Michael, Jin and I almost killed ourselves with to haul your ass back here? That dodgy stretcher?"

"Thank you." He grumbled

"That's what I thought." Mia pulled a half-empty water bottle from her bag and pushed it into his hands. "Drink. You've been dehydrated for days."

Sawyer took a small sip of water. "It survived," He kicked her satchel bag with the side of his foot. "Your lucky pack."

"Course it did." Mia said proudly.

Sawyer could see just inside, to the book Mia had been reading on the plane. "What is that book?" He asked. "Saw you reading it on 8-1-5, and then on the raft..."

Mia carefully took out her water-damaged but still intact copy of _Persuasion_ from her ragged bag. "Bree got it for me for Christmas a few years back... I never got around to reading it... figured the plane would be a great place to start."

"What's it about?"

"Well, from what I can gather," She flipped the book over in her hands. "It's about these two people... who used to love each other, and they don't anymore..." Mia's breath caught in her throat, as the story suddenly reminded her of the one she was living with her husband right now. "And it's about how they persuade themselves to give it another try."

"Sounds familiar." Sawyer grunted, shifting his wounded arm so he was resting his elbow on his knee.

Mia smiled as she looked at him; a man she once thought of as intimidating looked so childish and weak before her eyes. His hair, overgrown and dirty, covered his tired face, his eyes were fighting against the bright sun, and he was barefoot, toes muddying up in the puddle at his feet. Far from intimidating. "Were we happy?" She found herself asking. Maybe it was his more approachable appearance, but she suddenly wasn't afraid to ask the question she'd been asking herself from the moment they'd been married; the moment when Mia knew everything to follow would be based on her lie. "Just for a little while... were we happy?"

**xxx**

_LA X - 2001_

Mia could see Sawyer waiting for her in the crowd of people cluttered around Gate 16 as she departed her plane from Sydney. The sea of passengers in front of her were in various states of awareness, some chipper from sleeping the whole flight, some yawning having not slept a wink, but most like Mia; half-and-half, unable to fully go to sleep but not really being awake either. Awesome.

The huddled mass dispersed as they cleared the gate, and he was there. Waiting, smiling; cheeks dimpled, hands in the pockets of his well-fitting jeans, watching her trail behind an elderly couple and a group of unruly teenagers.

Her week of being big sister and Aunt Mia was over with, now she was back to being Mia; the sidekick con to a handsome Southerner with a devastating charm. A role she'd stepped into for the cash and experience, but found enjoyment and pleasure that she couldn't ignore. Perhaps a better Private Investigator would know how to deal with this feelings tussling in her heart like snakes in a pit; but not Mia. All she could think of was her SRF training. She was trained to save. 

_Save_.

"Welcome back, baby," Sawyer's grin spread across his face as he opened his arms to her.

A grin on her face, Mia dropped her bags and flung her arms around his neck, pulling him down to kiss her. "Hi," She said between swift kisses, not caring who saw them. "I told you I could get a cab."

"Now, where's the fun in that?" He said, leaning down and grabbing her duffle bag, sliding an arm around her waist to her hip as they walked down the corridor for the exit. "You look happy," He said, squeezing her to his side.

After spending the week with her family, she was jubilant. And seeing Sawyer, James, her client, whatever she wanted to call him, didn't lessen that feeling in the slightest. She beamed at him. "I am."

**xxx**

_"Were we happy? Just for a little while... were we happy?"_

In the jungle, Mia waited nervously for Sawyer to respond to her question.

Cheeks dimpled into a familiar smile, "Yeah." he answered her honestly.

Mia smiled back; the most relieved one she'd expressed since the raft had been destroyed... since she'd saved him.

He was alive, he was with her, and he wasn't lying; three things Mia knew for sure when she pushed herself towards him, resting her hands on his knees to get to his eye level. He didn't move, his eyes stared into hers as she moved in and kissed him full on his lips, soft and consuming, unlike the kiss he'd forced on her the month before when tied to that tree. This was real. At least, it was real for Mia.

All at once she felt like she had two years ago; the morning of the night he'd killed the real Sawyer, the morning she had kissed him in this same, consuming way. She felt the same; because she had not known on that morning that it would be her very last playing house with him, that the coming night would be the one she divulged everything to him and he kicked her out of their home after two years with hate-filled eyes and agony stricken across his face. And now, kissing him in a jungle full of mysteries on an island where every day was a new challenge; Mia had no idea what was up ahead of her.

In that moment, she knew she was safe. Sawyer was safe. Their kiss was safe, a speck of joy in the middle of uncertainty. It was something they both needed; something real.

**xxx**

**

* * *

**

_Two passages from Persuasion by Jane Austen_

_Chapter 23:_

_"You pierce my soul. I am half agony, half hope. Tell me not that I am too late, that such precious feelings are gone forever. I offer myself to you again with a heart even more your own than when you almost broke it... Dare not say that a man forgets sooner than woman, that his love has an earlier death. I have loved none but you. Unjust I may have been, weak and resentful I have been, but never inconstant."_

_"If I was wrong in yielding to persuasion once, remember that it was to persuasion exerted on the side of safety, not of risk. When I yielded, I thought it was to duty; but no duty could be called in aid here. In marrying a man indifferent to me, all risk would have been incurred, and all duty violated."_


	30. Nos Satus Iterum

_AN - references but does not yet contain Bec's OC Matt :):) He'll show up next chapter :)_

**Chapter 30: ****Nos Satus Iterum**

Every one hundred and eight minutes, they had to push a button.

Great, as if the island and its craziness wasn't enough; now they had to deal with a hatch and an EXECUTE button.

Sawyer wanted to go back to the beach; but Mia didn't want him trekking through the damp jungle while his wound was still healing. So that happened to volunteer her for button duty. During the day Jack and Locke would come through and take over, John was very interested in the button, the hatch, the whole shebang, Jack was reluctant, but he was going along with it, even though Mia could see his hesitance every time he entered 4-8-15-26-23-42 into the computer.

Mia didn't mind so much, it kept Locke from ranting around and everything seemed settled enough at the beach, so she stayed with Sawyer at the hatch. He'd fallen into a heavy sleep giving Mia the chance to accompany Matt to Shannon's funeral.

On the walk back, Matt was quick to assure her that Claire, and her baby whom she'd since named Aaron, were fine, under Charlie's constant watch, and Jin had returned to Sun. Returning for the funeral had been a mix of emotions; she'd been thrilled to see Charlie, Claire, Hurley, everyone.. but then there was poor Shannon, her beautiful, lifeless body buried in the ground next to her brother whilst Sayid openly showed his despair through tears.

Ana had killed Shannon; and didn't attend the funeral. She was very much an outcast, and Mia didn't really care. She wasn't apologetic, or even empathetic, she didn't seem to think she needed forgiveness, or maybe she didn't want it, or maybe she was just distancing herself because she knew no one wanted to look her in the eye for ending Shannon's life.

After the funeral, Mia had nursed Aaron for awhile, caught up with Claire and Charlie, and then left Matt to baby-sit while she followed the now very obvious trail through the jungle back to the hatch. There was a back entrance, as well as the hatch Locke had uncovered with the ladder leading down, so Mia didn't have to risk her neck to get back inside.

That night was quiet, Mia was alone at her double shift, she'd just hit the button for the second time, giving her 108 minutes until Locke would show up so she could get some sleep. He was a good person to have watch over the button if you needed to sleep; he never let the timer get so low that the blaring siren would go off and echo through the hatch, thus waking you up.

Sawyer was awake, he was sleeping odd hours – like a baby – and had been asleep all day, so now after two in the morning according to the clock on the wall (another luxury Mia had taken for granted back home), he was awake and whinging. So to shut him up, Mia sat him in a chair in the bathroom to cut his hair.

"I'm gonna cut your hair." She instructed him as he grunted into place in front of the mirror.

"Why?"

"It's driving me nuts." The scissors were old, but sharp enough to cut. Mia's makeshift salon consisted solely of that chair and the scissors, but all she really wanted to get rid of were the gross, dried bits of mud at the ends of his hair; it reminded her of what happened to her long hair when she was in the SRF, her long hair handed lasted long, it was just easier to keep it chin-length. It had mostly grown back now, darker than before, but maintained, even on the island, unlike Sawyer's. However, his dried out locks weren't as cooperative as Mia had hoped they'd be. After she cut off the mud and dirt; she tried to level out the strands.

"You better not miss this up." Sawyer grumbled, staring blandly at his reflection as she pulled at the hair around his left ear.

"Why, you have somewhere you need to be?" Mia muttered as she raked her fingers through the side of his hair, shaking out the cut strands so she could see where she needed to even it out.

"Course." He smirked. "Got a hot date tomorrow night."

"Ahh..." Mia played along. "Tell me about her."

"She's gorgeous. Her hair's like chocolate gold, and her eyes... like she's always happy... but she hates me. And I don't think it'll work out."

Mia paused in her cutting. "Why not?"

"Cos I got a thing for her sister." He said, grinning like a child.

Mia gave him a withering look. "You're talking about Bree," She shook her head and went back to cutting. "Nice. But also very true; my sister does hate you."

He laughed at his own joke. "Ladies love to hate me."

"Not a good thing to be saying to the woman with a blade at your neck."

"Hell; if you didn't let me die from bullet would you sure as hell ain't gonna now."

"Don't sound so sure of yourself."

"Well, just to be sure," He said, pausing, catching her eyes in his reflection. "You could kiss me again."

Mia hid her soft blush behind a smile. "I was just happy you were still alive." She said coyly, chopping a chunk of his hair off at a downward angle away from his chin. "If I lose you, it's just me and these damn tourists." She mumbled. Her knees knocked against his legs, she couldn't get an even level on his hair. If she cut it unevenly; he'd never let her hear the end of it.

"What are you looking at?"

Mia was holding what should have been his bangs in her fingers, eye-measuring their length. "Trying to get these even..." She shifted around, kneeling in front of his face.

"Try this," With his right arm, he guided her hip down. She fell right onto his lap with a gasp. "Better?"

Mia's thighs tensed; she hadn't been this close to Sawyer in a very long time. His chest was grazing hers, and his hand shifted from her hip to her lower back and further down. The scissors fell from her hands and clanked to the floor; but neither of them cared to notice. Mia ran her fingers through his hair again, pushing all of it out of his eyes. She fell forwards just a little; letting her lips fall in between Sawyer's. He moaned and pulled her closer to him, his hand still on the rear of her jeans, his fingers digging at the denim against her skin. She looped her arms up around his neck, kissing him deeper, and leant her elbows on his shoulders. He grunted in pain and bit down on her lip, instantly making her pull away.

"Dammit." He groaned, lurching forward.

"Oh, crap, I'm sorry!" Mia sprang off his lap; she'd elbowed him right on his wound, there was blood already seeping through the bandage to his shirt. "I'm sorry, dammit."

"Best way to get hurt," He said through a grimace. "Don't let it stop you."

"You should rest; Jack's gonna kill me if he sees I tore your stitches." Mia picked up the scissors, placed them in the drawer and kicked around Sawyer's cut-off hair so it piled together.

"I don't wanna rest." Sawyer said stubbornly, getting to his feet and leaning in towards her, pushing himself against her body.

Mia could feel the cool bench against her palms as she leaned against the sink, Sawyer's hard body up against her. If he was completely healthy, she knew what she would do at this moment. But fact was; he wasn't healthy. He was injured, severely, and had only _just_ started to recover. And a mere knock against his shoulder had caused a flow of blood; not exactly the most erogenous of actions.

Pushing aside her irritatingly loud hormones, Mia managed to swivel out from behind the counter. "I gotta go check the button; you'll be good to get back to bed, right?" She didn't wait for an answer before she disappeared back into the control room where the button station was located. Her body was hot all over, she needed a cold shower, but she wasn't going back into that bathroom.

Instead she spent the rest of her shift staring at the counter, ignoring the tug below the waist feeling she got now that she thought about her estranged husband.

* * *

Mia awoke to the faint smell of peppermint under her nose. She blindly swiped at her face and felt something cool smear across her cheek; again smelling mint. She opened her eyes a crack and saw Sawyer sitting on a stool in front of her stifling a laugh and covering his mouth with one hand, and a tube of toothpaste in the other.

"You suck," She grumbled, heaving her tired body up into a sitting position. "Dammit," She found she had toothpaste blobs all over her face.

"Gotta have my fun somehow," Sawyer said with a shrug, handing her a damp facecloth. "Got a message for you."

"What do you mean?" Mia asked, scrubbing the toothpaste off her skin; she still smelled of mint.

"Like a teenage girl's game of Chinese Whispers," He said with an eye roll. "Claire told Sun, who told Matt who told me to tell you that Claire wants you for something."

Mia tentatively tested her leg as she stood up, it sent a wave of pain through her side but it didn't feel as bad as it had the day before; keeping it clean had really done the best work; the infection was fading. "Wants me for what? Baby-sitting? I'm already doing that."

"Har-har." Sawyer said dryly.

"Up for a walk to the beach?"

"Shouldn't you check with my doctor first?"

"I'll risk it." She tossed the cloth back in his face. "Whose watching the button?"

"Locke. And I sure as hell ain't staying here with him."

The fresh air felt surprisingly good in her lungs; it made her realize she hadn't been out of the hatch in a few days, and definitely not in such beautiful weather. With her bum leg and Sawyer's freshly re-wounded shoulder, they formed a pitiful looking duo who hobbled their way through the jungle.

This visit to the beach was different than when Mia had attended Shannon's funeral. Everyone had been solemn, bowing their heads, wiping away tears; this time, she got hugs and smiles. Mia and Sawyer almost walked straight into Sun when they came across her working in her garden. She heard them coming, and was using a trowel as a weapon, which she promptly dropped to the dirt when she saw it was Mia.

"Oh, you scared me!" She said with a smile of relief as she hugged Mia tightly. "I was going to come with Jack to the hatch but he didn't seem to want to wait for me."

"Jack went to the hatch?"

Sun nodded. "To change your bandages." She said to Sawyer.

"Well... we're not there." Mia muttered unnecessarily. "Ok, I'll go see Claire, you..." She pointed at Sawyer trying to think of something he could do that wouldn't screw up his arm. "You... go to your stash..."

He nodded his head at her as if he were a cowboy tipping his hat. "Yes, ma'am." He said sarcastically, trudging through the sand towards the ocean.

Mia found Claire sitting on a rock by the ocean cradling Aaron in her arms. "Hey," She said brightly.

Claire turned and smiled. "Mia!" She seemed surprised. "What are you doing here?"

"I got a very wordy message from Sawyer, Sun and Matt that you wanted me?" Mia said, puzzled, as she sat by Claire on the flatrock.

"Oh," Claire looked embarrassed. "No, it's not important... I just told Matt that I missed you... I guess he went a little overboard... you didn't really have to come. Did you leave Sawyer? Is he okay?"

"Yeah, he's fine," Mia looked over her shoulder to see Sawyer triumphantly lighting a cigarette he'd found at the bottom of his stash. "Where's Charlie?" She didn't see him nearby, and Matt said that Charlie had been at Claire's side since the raft set sail. It was only when Claire didn't reply that Mia looked at her, the blue-eyed blonde was staring out at the sea. "We sort of... had... a fight..." She snorted a little. "Sounds weird, I know, it's not like we're a couple..."

"What happened?"

"He lied to me. He had heroin."

Mia's eyebrows flew up. "He's back on the drugs?"

"He says he's not; but he told me he didn't know he had them; and he did so I... told him to piss off for awhile." She kissed Aaron's forehead. "Don't listen to Mummy's swearing, ok?"

Mia sympathized with her. Lying men sucked. "Want me to stay here with you for awhile? Sawyer knows his way back to the-" Claire was already shaking her head.

"No, I'm fine. Really." Though her words were strong; her eyes were uncertain. "I have Aaron."

"Ok..." Mia kissed her fore and middle fingers and pressed them to the infant's forehead. "Be good, handsome." She patted Claire's shoulder as she got up. "I'll come back later tonight, I miss my tent." She added the last part for Claire's benefit; she didn't want her to think that the only reason she was coming back was to visit, even though they both knew that it was.

"Sawyer!" Mia hollered, clicking her fingers at him as he drew another satisfying drag from his cigarette. "Let's go, bandages, now."

"Yes, ma'am." He said, again in that same sarcastic tone, although his nicotine fix kept a smile on his face.

It never took as long to get back to the hatch as it did to get back to the beach; Mia always hated that feeling when she was in SRF; it meant she couldn't always be sure of her timing, and timing was everything.

"We gonna talk about last night?" Sawyer drawled as they approached the hatch door.

"What about it?" She heard Sawyer stop walking, scoff, and then pick up his pace again.

"Nothin..." He said as he fell into step beside her. "But maybe gimme a little warning next time you jump me... we could pick things up again in the shower... or even the bed."

Mia hid her smirk behind her mess of curly brown hair as she yanked open the hatch door. "Jack?" She called out, her voice bouncing off the walls as she and Sawyer ambled towards the kitchen.

"This place creeps me out..."

"You'll get used to it..." Mia trailed off, something felt very off; very wrong. She was a soldier, she knew this feeling. It was danger; someone was in trouble. "Jack? John?" Her anxiety was confirmed when the button's timer started counting down; John never let it get that low.

"Maybe they went out for ice-cream." Sawyer deadpanned.

"Ssh!" Mia held a hand to his chest; as well as the siren blaring she could hear the muffled cries and pounding against the wall. And someone was calling her name. "Jack?" The noises lead her to the armoury, bound closed with a combination lock.

"In here!" Jack's hushed voice called out. "Michael locked us in here."

Sawyer eyed Mia. "What did he just say?"

The siren started making an even louder noise, a second warning that the numbers needed to be entered. "I'll get that, you get them." She said, quickstepping down the hall to the monitor. The numbers were written on a post-it note and stuck to the screen; but everyone on button rotation already knew them by heart.

Numbers entered, timer reset, Mia hurried back to Sawyer, to see Jack and Locke free from the armoury and loading up weapons from the gun vault.

"What the hell happened?" She asked.

"Michael went after Walt." Locke informed her as he slid some shells into a shotgun.

"Went after Walt?" Mia repeated. She suddenly realized how long it had been since she'd seen him... that was a bad sign.

Jack's face was tight with tension. "Pulled a gun on me, put us both in there, and went after Walt." His eyes followed Sawyer as he approached the gun vault. "What do you think you're doing?"

"What does it look like? I'm coming with you."

"You're still on antibiotics."

"It's a good thing I'm travelling with my doctor, then."

"Dammit." Mia said, limping into the armoury. The trek back and forth from the beach had aggravated her wound; it was throbbing as though her heart was beating in her calf muscle.

"What?"

"That means I have to come, too." She said as she reached for a pistol.

"Whoa." Jack grabbed her wrist before she put her fingers to the gun. "No, we gotta keep the group small. And someone needs to watch the button."

Mia was offended. "What? You'd rather take him?" She nodded at Sawyer. "Used to hate you and can only use one arm, over me who can use both arms and was _in the army_."

"I'm with the Doc," Sawyer said. "You've done enough; just stay put awhile."

Mia hated feeling outnumbered, especially by men. It had happened to her all the time when she'd first enlisted with SRF. Just because she didn't have a penis meant she wasn't 'man enough' to fight on the front line, perform tasks that the male soldiers were ordered to do without anyone batting an eye; it was an image she hated when she was faced with it; but an image she loved to defy.

So she let Jack, sawyer and Locke go ahead without her, leaving her with the only the button to contend with. It didn't bother her; the silence was going to come in handy; she was already thinking of ways to follow them.


	31. I Won't Say Sorry

**Chapter 31: I Won't Say Sorry**

Mia picked at her cuticles as she glared at the timer counting down. It read 101:00 minutes exactly. Just over five minutes since Jack had trekked off with Sawyer and Jack to go after Michael – without her. She felt her annoyance was justified. Finding people was her job; she was an asset. They were stupid to go without her. Granted, she hadn't found Claire when she went missing... they hadn't found Walt, either. Maybe Jack thought she was losing her touch. She'd been out of SRF for two years; maybe he thought it was wearing off. What did he know?

Newfound anger at Jack intact, Mia sighed and spun herself around in the desk chair. Giggling voices caught her ear as did light footsteps. She was joined a moment later by Kate and Matt, looking fresh faced and healthy – a nod to finally getting a decent meal with the pantry full of food that was in the hatch.

"Hey," Kate said, eying Mia and glancing around noticing the silence. "Sawyer sleeping?"

"Oh, no, he's gone." Mia pulled her lips into a tight smile. "They're all gone." She bitterly recounted Jack and Locke's stint trapped in the armoury and Michael's speedy escape.

"And you're here hitting the button; why?" Matt asked, folding his arms across his chest.

Mia rose to her feet. "Because you, my love, hadn't shown up to take over for me." She grinned, sauntered passed him and clapped him on the shoulder.

"That sounds like... an _awful_ idea." Matt said slowly as Kate trailed after Mia into the kitchen.

"That's why you just have to sit in there and watch that button. And look," She pointed to the overflowing bookcase to her left. "Fun."

"I'm coming with you." Kate said. "You're leg is still messed up." She didn't wait for Mia to protest. "I'll get some stuff from the armoury," She pointed at Matt. "Do not let her leave without me."

"Can I go on the record with something?" Matt asked Mia. "This is a very bad plan." Mia huffed in response. "Right, no it's a great plan. Wandering off into the jungle has worked _so_ well for us all in the past."

"You're forgetting, I trekked through that jungle on a bum leg lugging Sawyer on a handmade stretcher after I was kept in a hole after I survived the raft blowing up."

"Exactly. You're pushing it."

Mia sighed and stared at her feet. "You make me feel married." She said pointing at him. "I'll be fine."

* * *

Kate was a handy ally to have trekking in the jungle, as Mia soon found out. She'd grown up hiking with her father. "My dad was in the army," Kate said as the pair headed off from the hatch. "Ranger Battalion. That anything like what you do?"

"No, not really." Mia replied. "They're more combat than SRF."

"I've been dying to ask you something," Kate said with a smile.

"Oh yeh?"

"Why did you marry _Sawyer_?"

Mia exhaled loudly as she paused on the spot to look for more of Sawyer's trail. He was limping; made it easier to follow. "Why is it so shocking to people that we're married?" She muttered irritably. "Do I seem like I must be crazy? Or is he the crazy one? What is with the interest?"

"Sorry." Kate grumbled.

Mia took a steadying breath. "No, I..." She shrugged her shoulders. "Apparently I'm still bitter."

"I just... he's a conman, I thought maybe..."

"No, he didn't con me into marrying him." Mia anticipated her question, taking a second look at a heavy boot print the mud. "Look... I don't like talking about it." That was the truth; in a lot of ways it still burned Mia to think about her past with Sawyer. "It wasn't all bad," She clucked her tongue. "But it sure as hell wasn't all good either." Another heavy boot print in the ground made Mia stop still. "This is..." She squatted down to the ground to get a closer look. "It's not any of us... it's too heavy..."

Kate knelt down beside her. "And they just start here..." She gave Mia a concerned look. "The Others."

Mia's eyes darted around the jungle. The trees swaying too fast in the gentle wind, the birds that stopped chirping... an odd feeling boiled in the pit of her stomach. "They know we're here..." She whispered.

"Run." Kate pushed Mia forwards by the shoulder. "Run!"

Sprinting into the jungle, Mia took the lead. She could hear Kate's footsteps right behind her mingled with her panicked breathing. There was something after them, or someone, the trees and shrubs on either side of Mia rustled, feet slipped and rocks jostled out of place. When Mia heard a low, male voice hush "ssh!", she stopped dead. They were in front of her. She couldn't see them; but she could hear them. They were circling her.

Mia groped behind her for Kate; thinking she would be right there. But her fingers grasped nothing but air. "Kate?" Mia turned, realizing she was definitely alone. "Kate!" She didn't want to scream too loud, but Kate might already be in their clutches. "Kate..." She spun on the spot, every tree that shook, every leaf that moved, they were all possible enemies and Mia suddenly felt like her gun wasn't going to be enough.

A soft whooshing sound, like the sound of a chopper taking off but at a very, very low volume, made Mia freeze, trying to focus her hearing on the noise. Was it a motor of some sort? A weapon?

She didn't have the chance to identify it, something heavy about the size of a golf ball smacked her in the back of the head. Mia fell forwards onto her knees, grabbing at the back of her head. She could feel warm blood spreading onto her fingers. The rock or whatever it was had cut her. She pushed up on one knee to get to her feet; but a heavy boot collided with her back and she fell forwards. She turned to look at her attacker but her face was covered with a brown fabric bag, clouding her entire world in darkness.

* * *

No one answered Mia when she asked questions, and eventually she shut up. She felt helpless, being led through the jungle with tied hands and a bag over her head; like a criminal on the way to the gallows. Her gun had been taken; her water bottle, too. It was unnerving not even being able to see her own footsteps. Every time she slowed down, someone would prod her to make her move faster.

She could feel the sun on her arms, and as the day wore on she felt the air around her cool. The sound of crickets chirping told her it was after sunset by the time she was pulled to a stop. Someone roughly opened the bottom of the bag just at her chin and thrust a canteen of old smelling water. Mia eagerly drank, stopping the instant she heard a familiar voice grunt in annoyance to her right.

"Kate?"

"Mia?"

"Shush!" A third female voice said, young, scared. "You have to be quiet." She continued gently. "Or they'll all come back.

"Hey!" A male voice scolded the young girl sharply. "Shut up and gag them already."

Mia hoped that wasn't a codeword for something. She felt the bottom of her hood be pulled up again and a twisted piece of fabric was shoved into her mouth and tied around the back of her head; tightly. Her hands were stinging with cuts that were being repeatedly irritated by the ropes grazing into the tender skin.

For awhile; they stood. No one spoke, all Mia could hear was her heavy breathing, and Kate panting beside her.

And then another voice; one Mia didn't recognize, boomed through the jungle.

"LIGHT 'EM UP!" The order roared through the jungle reverberating off the trees.

Mia's heart raced. Light what up? A fire? Were they going to be burned like witches or something? She didn't have to wait along. A moment later, the same booming voice screamed another request.

"Bring them out, Alex!"

A gruff hand - not the young girl - grabbed Mia by her bicep and pulled her along. She could hear at least two more sets of footsteps beside her, she assumed someone pushing Kate along. Pulled to a sudden stop; Mia felt the cool rush of air against her face as the bag was whipped off her head. Before she'd been captured; the sun had been beating down on her. Now; it was night, late night. There were dim flame torches lit up around them in a large circle. And ahead of her, were Jack, Sawyer and Locke.

Beside her she heard a gasp, and saw Kate relieved of the bag over her face. She looked just as bewildered as Mia felt; and just as perplexed to see the guys right in front of them.

"They were following you," The booming voice of a heavy-set man said. "Like I said, curiosity."

Mia did a double take when she saw him; she knew him. She'd seen that bearded face before. He was the man who'd taken Walt; the man who'd led the charge to blow up the raft that almost killed her, Sawyer, Michael and Jin. "You..." Mia breathed through clenched teeth.

The Bearded Man smiled warmly at her. "Hello again, Amelia."

"Do you have Michael?" She asked immediately. "And Walt? Are you sad we didn't all die out there?"

"Quiet!" He barked at her.

"You touch a hair on her head, I'll-"

"Shut up!" The Bearded Man yelled at Sawyer, who had taken a few steps closer.

Mia caught eyes with Sawyer; he looked furious. And there was a glimmer of something else in his eyes, worry. Or maybe fear.

The Bearded Man turned to Jack, jostling Kate a little to rattle him. "Jack the decision you gotta make right now is this."

The Bearded Man was a step in front of Mia. Her heart started racing; she saw a chance. She could trip him and knee him in the gut before he even hit the ground. They could hold him hostage to get away. He was distracted; still threatening Jack. "Can you live with the fact that I shot these women right in front of you when you could have saved their lives by giving up and going home?"

Mia widened her eyes at Sawyer, and darted them quickly back and forth from the back of the Bearded Man's head.

"Or are you going to give me your guns, turn around and walk away. It's your call, Jack."

Mia raised her eyebrows and nodded ever so slightly with her chin, telling Sawyer to get ready. But to her surprise; he vehemently shook his head. Mia almost cursed at him; she would have if her mouth wasn't gagged. Jack's eyes were on Kate, Locke's were on the Bearded Man, Sawyer's were on her, narrowed in an almost vicious expression that made her abandon her plan; he wasn't going to help her.

Jack let out a low, guttural sigh and tossed his weapon down onto a blanket splayed out on the grass. Locke followed suit, and Sawyer slowly tossed his rifle onto the pile. "You and me ain't done, Zeke," He snarled with a curled lip as he let go of his gun.

The Bearded Man put a hand on both Kate and Mia's backs and shoved them towards their friends. The torches surrounding them all were simultaneously extinguished and the he picked up the blanket full of weapons before receding into the jungle.

Jack undid Kate's bindings while Sawyer quickly ripped off Mia's gag. "Are you alright?"

"Yeah," Mia let him untangle the ropes around her wrists. "Why did you do that?"

"What?"

"Why didn't you let me attack him?"

Sawyer exhaled loudly. "They got people all around here, if you'd attacked him they all woulda rushed us. That jackass and his people took the kid, shot me and blew up the raft. They know what they're doing."

Stubbornly, Mia still felt like her plan was at least worth a shot.

"And even if we did get away this time, they'd come back." Sawyer continued, tossing the ropes to the jungle floor. "Let's go, Mayday."

He took her by the arm, but having been lead through the jungle all afternoon by a stranger that same way, Mia didn't want to be touched. She shrugged him off and walked by herself, Sawyer never more than a step behind her.

**xxx**


	32. Easily Bruised

Contains Bec's OC Matt**.  
**

**Chapter 32: Easily Bruised**

The past forty-eight hours had passed like a complete whirlwind.

She was almost afraid to open her eyes, maybe she her big plan hadn't worked. Maybe she'd wake up in her apartment in the states and head off for work, tailing a cheating husband or working undercover to catch a greedy boss.

Opening her eyes, Mia couldn't stop the smile tug at her lips. The afternoon sun was streaming through the window, warming Mia's exposed skin. She felt an arm tense across her abdomen and a soft moan in her ear. Rolling onto her back, her smile spreading, she settled against her pillow again, her lips millimetres away from Sawyer's.

"Mornin', wife," He mumbled, kissing her gently.

Mia smiled and ran her hand across his face, his stubbled chin grazing her palms and giving her yet another sign that her plan had gone as she'd hoped. "It's afternoon, here, remember?" She smoothed his dirty, blonde hair over his ear, smiling as his cheeks dimpled.

They were in Australia as of the night before. They'd boarded a plane right after their wedding.

"Well, then _afternoon, _wife," Sawyer said, kissing her deeper so that she rolled onto her back. His hands slid down her naked body to her thigh which he caressed and held up against his hip.

"Afternoon, husband," Mia said with a grin, letting him kiss and touch her all he wanted, she was still exhausted.

He didn't know what she'd done, and that bubble of guilt just wouldn't seem to leave Mia alone, but he was safe. He wouldn't be going to jail. And by the weekend they'd be interstate with Bree. She had cut off all ties with her boss, David, and Keamy, her former partner. Her life as a Private Investigator was over; and part of her was glad of it. She wasn't good at turning people in. She was a reconnaissance soldier; her heart told her to save people. Her heart had fallen for Sawyer. Her heart had decided that marrying him and bringing him halfway across the world was the way to save him. And she was grateful that his heart seemed to agree.

**xxx**

Mia had a lovely new red gash on her calf by the time she got back to the hatch. A particularly vicious, stray twig had punctured right through her jeans into her injured leg. She was sitting in the bathroom after having washed out the fresh wound in the shower, trying to figure out the best way to bandage it up when Matt found her.

"I knew it." He said with a shake of his head. "I told you it was a bad idea."

"Alright." She muttered.

"And Kate tells me you were held at gunpoint, too?"

"Yes, it was a very fun day." She said flatly.

Matt narrowed his eyes at her. "What's with you? Your mood ring is a more depressing gray than usual..."

"I dunno. I feel..." She sighed, settling on a wrap around bandage for her leg. "Stuck."

"What do you mean?"

"I think I know what's going on, and then something happens that totally changes everything." She thought back to the jungle, she had a clean shot at that Bearded man. Sawyer had told her not to take it. And she'd listened. "And I think I know how to react, and then something _else_ happens and I feel like a complete amateur."

"It's a Sawyer thing."

"No, it's not."

"Yes, it is." Matt pressed. "We all got new lives on this island. A new start, a new beginning, a chance to do things differently." He paused. "Except you. You don't have that luxury. Your past followed you here.

"Are you suggesting I kill him?"

"It wasn't my original plan, no."

"So what is your plan?

"Well... I don't have one. But even if I did I'm pretty sure you wouldn't like it. And then you wouldn't go along with it. And then you'd get mad. And I'd rather save myself the grief."

"Thank you." Mia said in a monotonous voice.

"Are you coming back to the beach?"

"Yeah, after my button watching shift." Mia said, heaving her leg off the countertop, the blood rushed back to her foot and gave her pins and needles.

Matt left her alone to wallow, which she had become quite good at doing. The more she sat in front of that computer and waited for the counter to countdown, the more she wished she'd just acted with that Bearded guy. He had shot Sawyer, almost killed them all, taken Walt to God knew where; the least she could have done was elbow him in his chubby jaw.

**xxx**

By the time Kate came to change shifts with her, Mia was mad again. She hated this island and the way it seemed to make her go through a constant cycle of PMS. She hated the way she acted around Sawyer; the way he _made_ her act. Why didn't she get a second chance like everyone else? Kate got to be free, Claire got to be a mother, Sun and Jin's relationship was healing; so why not her? Perhaps she was just collateral; she wasn't someone who deserved the second chance, she was just along for the ride. Like Boone had been. And Shannon. Perhaps that was her fate, too. To die.

When she arrived back at the beach, Mia was fuming. The camp was quiet, everyone had retreated to their tents for the night and only a soft glow from the central fire was still burning. It was late in the evening. Well, what was considered late for them now. All time after about six o'clock was late; not a lot to do once the sun goes down. Mia stalked into Sawyer's tent, finding him hunched over a stack of water damaged books with a penlight between his teeth.

"Hey," He flicked his hair out of his face, took the penlight from his mouth and looked at her over his shoulder. "What's with the house call, M?"

Mia ignored him and just let fly. "I don't know why I listened to you in the jungle. But I won't do it again." She said firmly. "Everyone gets a new life on this island." She looked him dead in the eyes. "And I don't want you in mine."

Sawyer nodded, dropped the penlight and stepped closer to her. "Then why are you here?" He asked. "Why did you come all the way through the jungle to tell me to my face that you don't wanna see my face?"

"I wanted to make sure you understood."

"Coulda waited 'til tomorrow," He pointed out. "I ain't on shift at the hatch for two days, you coulda slept there, or had your BFF Matt come play Chinese Whispers." He stared her down, cashing in on the slight height advantage he had on her, angling his shoulders so that when she backed away from him, she was heading deeper into his tent. "Instead you walked all the way here on your bum leg to tell me something I already knew..." His voice dropped to a whisper. "Why is that?"

Mia felt her back press up against the tree trunk that held up a corner of Sawyer's hefty tarp. She hadn't realized she'd been leaning back so far.

"Wanna know what I think?" His voice was ragged. "I think you're trying to convince yourself. And no matter what you try, it ain't workin'..." He paused, a wicked flash crossing his eyes. "See, _I know you_. And I know when you call up on me in the middle of the night, you ain't looking to talk." He pressed his body completely against hers, holding a hand to her hip. "You always liked the games..." He leant in further so his lips brushed her cheek just below her ear. "All you had to do was ask."

Mia's mind went blank; she hated this effect he had on her. Matt was right; she couldn't outrun him when he was right in front of her kissing her neck and sliding his hand down her pants. Without anything to say; Mia stayed mute, her breathing getting heavy, as he unzipped her jeans and slipped his fingers inside.

Gasping at the sudden rush, Mia locked her arms around Sawyer's neck and pressed her lips against his mouth, wiggling out of her jeans on the spot. He lifted up her right leg and hooked it around his waist and she rocked her hips down firmly against his hand. He moaned into her mouth and slid his free hand up her shirt to her breast, palming her skin gently.

Mia held her eyes closed as she bucked her hips against him, sinking into the feeling that she might break apart from pleasure. She took her lips from his and let out a guttural moan. "Goddd..." She grunted through clenched teeth.

"_Baby_..." Sawyer murmured into her neck, curling his fingers and kissing her full on the mouth.

Mia gasped, looking into Sawyer's eyes, holding his gaze as her lips part in a silent cry, and sucked in one final breath before pushing herself hard against Sawyer's hand.

Panting and shuddering with release, Mia leant back against the tree trunk for support; her legs were shaking.

Sawyer looked pleased with himself. "See?" He whispered into her ear, trailing kisses down her cheek. "All you had to do was ask..."

Mia wanted more of him, all of him, but before she could reach for his jeans she heard a distant wail of a baby crying, and a bustling around camp as everyone woke up. This snapped Mia back into reality and she quickly pulled on her jeans. Sawyer still had that look in his eye and wouldn't stop staring at her.

Furious with herself but pleasantly satisfied, Mia huffed out of his tent and went to join the others.

**xxx**


	33. Screaming Infidelities

_Sorry for the long, long delay. Other fics, RL, everything got in the way. These two are always in my head though! So if you still care to read, I'll keep updating :)_

**Chapter 33: Screaming Infidelities**

The scene that greeted Mia as she approached the gathering of survivors was certainly one she didn't expect. Claire was scooping baby Aaron out of a bewildered Charlie's arms at the ocean's edge. Furious, Claire smacked Charlie hard across the face before storming off with Sun hurrying behind her.

Mia pulled Kate aside. "What the hell happened?"

"Charlie took Aaron out of his crib and ran to the water." Kate answered, directing Mia away from Charlie. "I think he was sleepwalking, he didn't seem to know what was happening. Claire got freaked out."

As Kate and Mia parted ways across the beach, Mia went to join Claire and Sun by the young mother's tent. Aaron was crying as Claire unsuccessfully tried to soothe him by rocking him in his cradle. Sun shared a look of concern with Mia as she knelt down with them. "Is he okay?" Mia asked.

"Yeah, he's just scared." Claire replied not taking her eyes of her son. "It'll take me forever to get him back to sleep."

"I could-"

"No." Claire immediately cut Mia off. Then, she sighed and turned her crystal blue eyes to Mia, her expression calmer. "But thank you."

It took awhile, but Claire managed to get Aaron back to sleep and then curled up on her bed and tried to rest with her hand through the bamboo bars of Aaron's cradle gently holding his fingers. When Sun began having difficultly stifling her yawns, Mia sent her to bed and stayed with Claire. She didn't see Charlie come back from the beach, but she realized she wasn't sure where he was sleeping since Claire had told him to give her space after the heroin-filled-Mary-statue incident.

As the night grew darker, and the camp became quiet, Mia scooted back against a tree trunk and hugged her knees to herself. It wasn't exactly cold, but the breeze coming up from the water caused a chill in the air. She'd slept in worse places before, army training prepared soldiers to rest in tough conditions and yet to keep her senses alert. She heard footsteps, the sound of rubber soles squeaking as they plodded through the sand.

Opening one eye, she saw Charlie walking away from Claire's tent; as though he'd seen Claire sleeping and decided to leave her be. Mia could only feel sorry for him, in her heart she felt like he was a good man. He was just making ridiculously stupid mistakes right now. Mia's eyes followed Charlie until he disappeared out of her sight into the jungle. Did he have a stash out there, she wondered. Maybe he just liked the solitude. For that, she couldn't blame him.

The waves crashed to Mia's right and made her turn her head. Resting her cheek on her knee, her eyes drifted to the stray flap of Sawyer's tent rippling through the breeze. Their little escapade replayed in her mind, but she smothered the niggling part of her body that made her want to seek him out again. It wasn't a good idea.

**xxx**

The following morning after leaving Claire to feed Aaron, Mia was heading back to her own tent and rubbing at a knot in her neck caused by her awkward sleep when she wandered passed Hurley and Sawyer playing a game of cards in front of Sawyer's tent.

"Stick?" Hurley was saying. "I don't know, dude. Don't you need 21? I think you should hit."

"But I've got a 6; I'm going to bust." Sawyer argued.

"How do you know that?" Hurley asked.

"Well, I don't," Sawyer admitted. "But you've got to assume that I'm going to bust."

"Why?"

"Because he's a pessimist." Mia interjected.

Giving her a withering look, Sawyer caught sight of Libby with her arms loaded with clothes. "Well, well, look who's off to the laundromat? Well, go on. I'm sure you've got a load you need to drop in, don't you, Jethro?"

Hurley became intently focused on his hand of cards. "I'm kind of waiting for my moment."

"Well, your moment is now, Hoss." Reaching for Mia's arm to help pull him to his feet, Sawyer turned around. "Hey Libby!" He called out in a gruff voice, and then he quickly disappeared into his tent dragging Mia along with him.

Holding a finger to his lips, Sawyer smirked as he heard Hurley nervously ask Libby if she wanted help with the laundry, and then their easy chatter drifted off as they walked away.

"You playing matchmaker now?" Mia asked.

"I'm on a roll lately." Sawyer said with a suggestive grin playing on his lips.

Rolling her eyes, Mia started to leave but Sawyer didn't release his grip on her arm. And the mischievous look didn't leave his eyes. Mia took hold of his wrist and pulled him off her. It was easier to suppress the urges with the noise of the camp bustling around outside the tent. And once she got out into the sun, her brain refocused immediately as she saw a wild-eyed Charlie charging towards Claire's tent.

"Charlie?" Mia blocked his path and kept in step with him walking backwards.

"I have to talk to her." Charlie demanded.

Mia's heart was racing, the look in Charlie's eyes told her not to let him simply pass by her. "I don't think it's a good time."

"No, I have to talk to her." Charlie persisted. "She'll want to hear this."

Standing directly in Charlie's path, Mia held him back by his shoulders. "Okay, you know what, so tell me and I will tell her."

"Claire!" Charlie knocked Mia aside by the shoulder. "Listen to me. Aaron's in danger."

"What are you talking about?" Claire, standing in front of Aaron's crib, was visibly concerned.

"The baby's in danger!" Charlie's eyes darted from Aaron to Claire. "Look, I've been having these dreams. I know what they mean now."

Grabbing Charlie by his arm, Mia pulled him back. "Charlie, you have to leave."

Shrugging her off, Charlie continued like he couldn't hear Mia at all. "Claire, listen, we have to baptize Aaron."

Claire seemed bewildered. "What?"

"We can do this!" Charlie's voice was oddly confident. "Eko's a priest! We can do this!"

"It's time to go." Mia said giving him another firm push away.

"No, wait! I'm not finished!" Charlie kept yelling over Mia's shoulder. "Claire, look, we have to baptize Aaron!

"I said it's time to go." Mia gave him a heavy shove that almost knocked him off his feet. "Now!" Standing firm, Mia waited until Charlie was completely out of sight before she went back to Claire.

Her son awakened by the fighting, Claire was swaying back and forth on her feet with Aaron in her arms. "Baptized?" She said to Mia.

"Don't listen to him." Mia assured her with as a composed an expression as she could. "He's not..." She trailed off, unable to finish her sentence. "Do you want to take a walk or something? I could watch the baby?"

"No, it's okay." Claire smiled appreciatively. "But if you wanted to stay nearby..."

Mia gave her a wink and returned to her tent, which blocked the path Charlie had taken when he'd stormed away. And, if she pulled up the left hand piece of tarp, she had a clear view of Claire and Aaron. Curling up against her Oceanic Airlines chair pillows, Mia dug around in her bag and found her copy of _Persuasion_. It had dried from its drenching in the ocean, but it was warped and half the pages were smudged and unreadable.

It had been so long since she'd intended to read this damn thing, and it was still with her. Travelled with her, crashed with her, blew up on the raft with her, survived meeting the tail section survivors and now here it was, safe and resting on the beach with her. Maybe it was good luck, or maybe it was just hanging around until she finished it. Which seemed impossible now it was damaged.

Opening to one of the pages in the first half of the book that wasn't as damaged as the rest, Mia's eyes fell on a paragraph. Frederick Wentworth was musing about Anne Elliot, and how "altered" he perceived her to be.

_ ...She had used him ill; deserted and disappointed him; and worse, she had shewn a feebleness of character in doing so, which his own decided, confident temper could not endure. She had given him up to oblige others. It had been the effect of over-persuasion. It had been weakness and timidity. _

The crash of the waves woke Mia in the early evening. She hadn't realized she'd fallen asleep with her book in her lap. From Mia's left, Claire smiled at her and waved. Aaron was quieter now and chewing on his mother's finger. Mia waved back then rubbed her eyes and stashed her book away.

Reading hadn't helped her mood, and hadn't given her what she wanted.

He could. He'd been her _husband_, dammit.

Mia got to her feet and dusted the sand of her backside as she made her way to Sawyer's tent. He was inside, lying down and reading by torchlight. He'd read a lot when they were married. A hobby he'd picked up during his stint in prison before they had met. Had he given her _Persuasion?_ Suddenly, she couldn't remember.

"Evening." Sawyer looked up at her over the tip of his book.

Mia didn't speak, she was afraid if she did she'd lose her nerve. Instead she made sure the tent was closed and walked over to him placing a foot on either side of his body. She dropped her knees into the sand but he met her kiss before she'd fully leant down. He gripped her body tight and held her against him. She pulled at the buttons of his shirt and slid her arms around his back.

Sawyer rolled Mia over so he was on top of her and pulled off his shirt. Mia couldn't pull her lips from his, her lust was in total control. She let him unbutton her jeans and shrug them down then she unbuckled his belt. He pressed his body down on hers as she touched him and swept her hair off her face before kissing her even harder.

"Fire!"

It took a painful second or two for Mia to realize what she could hear.

"FIRE!" It was Sayid screaming, and the sounds of the rest of the rest of the camp panicking echoed across the beach.

Sawyer leant up off Mia and looked to the doorway of his tent. "Did he say fire?"

"Get up, get up, get up!" Mia quickly got to her feet and redressed herself. As soon as she got outside the tent the smell of burning leaves filled her nostrils. On the edge of the jungle she could see the orange haze of a firing blazing through the weeds. "Oh, hell."

Mia took off for the fire with Sawyer just behind her. Sayid was trying to stamp out the flames, Sawyer grabbed a blanket and started whipping it at the fire, and Mia helped Jin scoop sand to smother it. It was so hot Mia broke out into a sweat almost immediately. Her eyes stung from the smoke and she couldn't breathe.

Stepping away from the flames to get some oxygen into her lungs, she heard Claire's screams. "He's got my baby!"

"Claire!" Mia abandoned the fire and ran towards her friend.

Claire was at the water's edge with Charlie, who held Aaron tightly in his arms. "I just wanted to save him!" Charlie was breathless, his eyes wild.

Mia arrived by Claire. "Charlie! Give Claire the baby." She kept her distance from him, not knowing what he would do.

Half the camp began to gather around, Claire's cries alerting more than just Mia. Eko came striding slowly towards Charlie. "Eko, tell them!" Charlie begged him. "Tell them, Eko! Tell them what you told me - that the baby has to be baptized!"

Eko looked helpless and shook his head. "This is not the way."

Locke came around Eko and held his arms out to Charlie. "Come on, give him to me."

Charlie was having none of this. He was on the outside, his friends ganged up around him. His arms clasped tighter around Aaron. "Who the hell are you, John?! Aaron's not your responsibility! Where were you when he was born?! Where were you when he was taken?! You're not his father! You're not his family!"

Locke shook his head. "Neither are you, Charlie."

"I have to do this. I need to." Tears streaming down his face, Charlie turned to Claire. "I'm not going to hurt him."

A tearful Claire shook her head in disbelief. "You're hurting me, Charlie."

Locke edged closer to Charlie, arms still out, and Charlie allowed Locke to take Aaron from his arms. Locke transferred the baby back to his mother. Mia put her arm around Claire and lead her away from the water, the sound of Locke's heavy punches into Charlie deafened by the crash of the waves.

**xxx**


End file.
